What did the cherry say when it was given a bunch of flowers? You are cherry sweet.
My daughter picked up a piece of fruit and asked, "Is this a pear?"
"No," I replied, "there is only one."
Why do donuts hate puns so much?
They donut like to joke around!
What do you get when you cross a human and a pear?
A pear-son.
Why does cheese look normal? Because everyone else on the plate is crackers.
What's a pickle's life philosophy?
Never a dill moment.
What do you call bacon with salt on it?
Salt and Peppa.
Why did the burglar break into the bakery?
Because he heard the cakes were rich.
What did the M&M go to college? Because he wanted to be a Smarty.
Why do golfers love donuts?
Always a hole-in-one!
What do dogs like to drink? Kit-Tea.
What happens to a nervous nut?
It cracks.
What type of person doesn’t like pizza?
A weir-dough.
What is the easiest way to make a banana split? Cut it in half.
What do you call a cherry that is hard as nails? Tough as old fruits.
Why did the banana go to the hairdressers? Because it had split ends!
This might sound corny, but I think you’re a-maize-ing.
We all know that the New England Patriots have their soup in the Super Bowl.
What do vets call a paralyzed squirrel? A busted nut.
A motivated nut is a pecan. Because pe-can do anything.
Why do watermelons take such a long time to make decisions?
“They’re always melon it over.”
One bowl of soup said to the other, "Hello Broth-er".
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
What do you get when you cross a pig and a centipede? Bacon and Legs.
For the last few Sundays, I have been receiving an onion pun in the mail. I don't know who is sending them. Guess it is onionymous.
What is Tom Hanks' favourite soft cheese? Philadelphia.
What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven?
Angel food cake, of course!
What kind of fruit salad is most resistant to sunburn?
The kind with extra melon in.
Why did the baker keep putting too much flour in the bread? Because he was a gluten for punishment.
When do bakers stop making donuts?
When they get tired of the hole thing.
Don't be a jerk-o-lantern
I asked my nectarine friend how she was doing after her break up and she said 'It's the pits, man.'
Why was the pear by himself? Because the banana split.
The strawberry was scared of the cream. They were afraid it had gone bad.
What’s another name for a chess-nut? A nut who loves chess.
Wife dropped a jar of pickles upon opening the fridge; glass and pickle juice went all over the kitchen floor.
Me: Don't worry, it's not a big dill.
Why did the pineapple’s phone die? It needed juice.
What is a scarecrow’s favorite fruit?
Strawberries.
Did you hear about the lowest grade of steak? It's where the rubber meats the road.
What did the cheese call himself after he got dumped?
Forever provolone.
I think I drank some expired milk. I just have a gut feeling.
What do you call an onion that is very sick and has a high temperature? It is a boiling onion.
The pancake thought he was the best breakfast food because nobody stacked up to him.
What do you call a walnut in a narwal costume? A nar-walnut.
What’s the best view you can get in our galaxy? A view of the milky way from mars.
Apples and oranges had a conversation one day. Guess what the apples were saying the oranges, nothing stupid, apples don’t talk.
I yam what I yam.
What did the cheese say after escaping the mouse? I'm Brieeee!
I found a sour strawberry today. It was berry bad.
What did the Mexican wrestler say after he ate a taco that was too spicy?
“It’s okay, I’ll just guac it off”