What do you call the king of vegetables? Elvis Parsley.
What kind of chocolate do they sell at the airport? Plane Chocolate!
What did the salad lover say to his girlfriend?
You will Romaine in my heart forever.
Why did the farmer buy a brown cow?
He wanted chocolate milk.
Did you hear the one about the apathetic vegetable?
It didn't carrot all.
While cutting the onions, my eyes were leek-ing tears
I recently read a book by an onion which had opened up on its life. Midway through the book, I started crying.
What is red and goes putt, putt, putt? An outboard apple.
What are pig criminals known for? Pigpockets.
What is the similarity between my wallet and an onion? Whenever I open both of them, I cry.
What do you get when you photocopy fruit?
Paper jam.
Everybody romaine calm.
How do you make Pig Jerky?
Give them some coffee.
Why do bacon lettuce and tomatoes have the lowest IQ out of all the foods?
Because they're in-bred.
What do you call meat balls falling from the sky? A meat-ior shower.
What did the vegetables say to the Salad Dressing? Lettuce all smile.
Why did the aging bread roll retire?
Her career was already toast.
Why do donuts make terrible teachers?
They’re always glazing over the important stuff.
The easiest way to know that you are eating a bowl of rabbit soup is to take a look inside and find a hare in it.
What cheese do beavers like? eDam
Why is the pickle container always open?
Because it's ajar.
Drinking tea while being too calm can kill you, did you know?
It's called a casual tea.
I had this disturbingly long dream that I was making a salad.
I was tossing all night.
What do you call a nut on a Wheelchair?
“A busted nut.”
I like my wine sweet and my humor dry.
What do dogs love to eat for breakfast?
woofles
What is the greeting that Korean onions tell each other when they meet in the streets? They say 'Onion-Haseyo'.
Why are pickles in sandwiches always so polite?
They're well-bread.
I hate it when I run out of bread for breakfast. I am lack-toast intolerant.
What's the manliest fruit to eat?
Mango.
Q: What do you call a really violent fruit?
A: A peach breaker
I lost my grip, and my beer shattered on the floor.
This Corona outbreak is really getting out of hand.
I had a traumatic experience with peas. I even had to go to thera-pea.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Peanut.
Peanut who?
Peanut butter open the door!
What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven? Angel food cake, of course!
Have you heard of the new squirrel diet?
“It’s just nuts.”
What's a baby gherkin's favorite TV channel?
Pickleodeon.
Do not be sad because of these bad words. You are always a fineapple in my heart.
Chuck berry was undoubtedly the greatest rock and roll strawberry.
What's the most popular American cheese sitcom? Curd Your Enthusiasm
What’s the difference between England’s football team and a tea bag
A tea bag stays longer in the cup.
I'm the pun King of Halloween.
Did you know, you can actually hide a gigantic elephant in a cherry tree? All you need to do is paint its toenails red. I bet you don’t believe me – but have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? I rest my case.
Potatoes that are medi-tators maintain calm and peace even when uprooted.
What’s a donut’s favorite lullaby?
“Sprinkle, Sprinkle Little Star.”
Why did the pumpkin pie go to a dentist?
Because it needed a filling.
What was the event of the onion family getting back together called as? A family reonion.
What type of relationships do hotdogs like to have? A frank relationship, they can’t stand lies.
What is a squirrel’s favorite drink? A Peanut-Kola-da.
Did you hear about the love affair between sugar and cream? It was icing on the cake.