How do two cherries make up after an argument? They cherry the hatchet.
I heard that my neighbor, who loved dried fruit, has passed away. May his soul rest in peach.
Why didn't the two worms go into Noah's ark in an apple? Because everyone had to go in pairs !
What did the rabbit say to the lettuce?
Romaine calm, I’m here for the carrots.
An immature pineapple is often worse than a mature currant.
What do we call a chicken inside a hot tub? – It is called soup.
Where do squirrels go for fun?
The acorn-ival.
Knock Knock.
Who’s there? Donut. Donut who? Donut ask, it’s a secret!
What did the cherry say when it was given a bunch of flowers? You are cherry sweet.
What’s a nut’s favorite Shakespeare line?
“To be or nut to be.”
"Darling, shall we buy some vegetables for tonight?"
"Yes, lettuce!"
My son's has never really had much of an appetite.
But suddenly today he's eaten a dozen Kinder eggs whole.
He's full of surprises.
What would you call a steak that leaped off the table and ran away? Fast food, of course.
If you’re looking for Valentine’s Day inspiration for a meat loving crush, try “Will you beef my Valentine?”
"It isn't good to keep things bottled up."
How is divorce like espresso? It's bitter and expensive.
A thesaurus' favorite thing to eat for breakfast is a synonym roll.
Who were the first cheese lovers ever?
Edam and Eve.
My wife said that onions are the only vegetable that makes her cry
So I threw a pumpkin at her
Have you heard the new song from the band that entirely consists of vegetables?
It’s a master peas.
Bad vegetable puns are dreadful.
It’s a truly rotten experience.
What do you drink if you want to freshen your breath? Mint-Tea.
I got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallow, and nuts.
I won’t lie, it was a rocky road.
While breaking up with Princess Peach, Mario said "You are so peachy, I can't take it anymore".
What did the lovesick pig sing to his girlfriend? Don't go bacon my heart!
"On cloud wine."
Be like a pineapple: wear a crown, stand tall, and be always sweet on the inside.
Why is corn popular around Halloween?
Because it’s so earie.
How do you kill a salad? You go for the carrot-id artery.
I’ve been told that I need to stop making puns about meat… But I just can’t stop cold turkey.
Which mammal absolutely loves Merlot and Cabernet?
The Wineoceros.
Why did the egg go to school?
To get egg-ucated.
Why does everyone want ice cream to be on their team?
Because with them, anything is popsicle.
What's red and has 7 dents in it?
Snow white's cherry!
Why do onions have poor self-image?
Because people cry when they get onions naked.
The soup was busy and preoccupied. He was stewing over something his friend said.
When you come across oranges wearing suntan lotion, don’t judge them harshly. They do so in order not to peel.
Why should you avoid discussing coffee around sensitive people?
It can lead to a really heated, strong debate.
Why did the blonde stare at the carton of orange juice? It said concentrate.
Join us and let’s make pizza cheese grate again.
Why don't cows have any money? Because farmers milk them dry
What's a nervous person's favorite drink?
Insecuri tea!
Q: What would a peach love to pet?
A: A Pit Bull.
I had a goat’s cheese pizza the other day.
He wasn’t happy.
Who did the Caribbean jerk fall in love with? The Spice Girl next door.
The nut gave her boyfriend the kola shoulder for missing their date.
Vine Thought of the Day: Choosy moms choose wine!
On which website will you learn about the hidden gossips and secrets of the onion world? On the website Wiki-Leeks.
Q: What is a peach’s favorite book?
A: War and Peach
How many French eggs do you need?
One egg is un oeuf.