What’s the most supportive beer?
Root beer.
Mom: Did you watch the movie with the little pumpkins?
Dad: I stopped it early because it was too gourdy for me.
Why do watermelons have fancy weddings? Because they cantaloupe.
She drank so much coffee at work, she considered it part of her daily grind.
How busy was the donuts day? It was jam packed!
Q: What happens when two oranges collide?
A: They get en-tang-led!
People who use sleeping bags in the woods are soft tacos for bears.
Nearly got knocked off of my bike by a council salt lorry.
You idiot, I shouted. Through gritted teeth.
Basketball players always drop cookies into their milk.
That way, it's a slam dunk.
How do you get the most apples at Halloween? Take a snorkel.
Why did the potato wear socks?
To keep his pota-toes warm.
This special peach school is for those Peach kids who are suffering from peach and hearing impairment.
What happens if a cashew falls down your shirt?
It becomes a chestnut.
What do you call cheese that is sad? Blue cheese.
What would you call two banana skins? A pair of slippers!
My dad tried to put peas into an orange once. It didn't appeal to me.
How do you make Ohio State University cookies? Put them in a big Bowl and beat for 3 hours.
How do you know you in "love" with spicy food? After getting to third basil.
Why couldn’t the peanut finish the project?
Work came to a grinding halt.
The informant obtained their information by burying themselves in the ground, disguised with a crown and some rind. Police called him the pineapple plant.
What do you call a stolen yam? A hot potato.
The veggie lover was a total stalk-er.
Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I'm OK, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.
Did you know that humans started out as peas? That's why we're called homosa-pea-ns.
I spent last Christmas with a bunch of soft fruit. I kept getting confused with the toast – they were saying “Eat, drink and be cherry!”
Cherries are the worst soft fruits to watch scary movies with. They spend the whole time hiding behind a cushion as they are cherrified.
An inspirational speaker came to speak at the fruit stand today. He told us to peach for the stars.
Where do you store peach juice? Inside of a peach-er.
What's a hen's favorite shipping company?
Federal Egg-spress.
My wife's been on a banana diet.
She hasn't lost any weight, but you should see her climb trees now!
What do you call the king of vegetables? Elvis Parsley.
They say that the local baker is the breadwinner of his family. True enough.
“Spring, salad, shallot, picked”, said a friend. He knows his onions.
What’s a potato’s least favorite dance? The Mash Potato.
Which nut is the worst for your diet?
Donuts.
Nobody would ask the strawberry to go to the prom because it was past her sale by date.
What fruit loves chocolate?
A cocoa nut.
I thought of a new joke that started in a corn field.
But I'm not going to post it bc it's too corny.
Where did Vegans come from?
Hummus Sapiens
What happened after the conifer fell in love at the orchard? A pineapple tree.
The chickpea wrote a book, but he didn't release it until after his death. He wanted to do it post-hummusly.
What do you call a cherry that is hard as nails? Tough as old fruits.
What did the fans say to the band named after a famous chickpea spread?
Hummus a tune.
When can a pizza marry a hot dog? After a very frank relationship.
What was the event of the onion family getting back together called as? A family reonion.
Q: Why are cherries never lonely?
A: Because they hang around in bunches.
Why did Wonder Woman rescue the Wine?
Because that's what grape lady superheroes do!
Why does a little cherry always look up to its parents? It tries to follow in their fruitsteps.
What do you get when you cross an apple with a Christmas tree? Pineapple.
What does a cheese lover say when someone keeps messing around with them?
“You gouda brie kidding!”