If you're in a food fight, always throw peas. We need to give peas a chance.
There’s muffin I wouldn’t do for breakfast.
I work in security, and i want to get a pumpkin for my desk
It shall be a security gourd.
What is a monkey’s favourite cookie?
Chocolate Chimp!
My Dad told me why Busch is the only brand of beer he ever drinks.
"It's the only beer that says it's name when you open it."
I saw an egg behaving oddly today.
It was probably just a bit egg-centric.
What is a lions favourite cheese? Roar-quefort
Do you know how the pineapple feeds her children? She gives them milk from her pinenipples!
Like a pro wrestler in a headlock, I’m indulging in a little Sham pain.
What did the steak say when he came across his nemesis? Ah, we meat again!”
What do you get when you cross a human and a pear?
A pear-son.
What's the difference between black eyed peas and chickpeas?
Black eyed peas can sing a tune, chickpeas can only hummus one.
So, how on earth did the police catch the watermelon thief without a solid description? Don’t really know; guess the bloke was acting seedy.
"You can't sip with us."
I grew up in a really rough area. I would walk out of the house and other kids would leap out and sprinkle me with cream, cherries and shaved chocolate. Life was tough, growing up in the gateau.
I like my wine sweet and my humor dry.
What did mama bread say to her kids?
It’s way past your breadtime!
In a world that is full of apples, it is much better to be a pineapple.
Did you hear about the farmer who sold his sheep to slaughter because he wasn't making enough money from the wool? The situation went from baa-d to wurst!
If you are ever babysitting a cherry, remember that their favorite cartoon is Tom And Cherry.
What do you get with surprise peas?
Wet legs
What’s the perfect gift for someone who is always raisin’ the bar? Oatmeal
raisin.
Despite his puns being so orange-inal, nobody really likes them.
What is the opposite of Chocolate? Chocoearly.
Some very good advice strawberries give to their children is to respect their elder-berries.
A peach biologist was looking for a peach-tree-dish for his upcoming experiment.
What cheese surrounds a medieval castle? Moatzeralla
Did you hear about the banana who went to the doctor's because he wasn't peeling very well?
I saw a pun on chocolate bars but it wasn’t that fun
So I just snickered.
What did the doughnut say to the pizza?
If I had as much dough as you, I wouldn’t be hanging around this hole.
All the other vegetables have always felt very emotional whenever they are near the onion.
What's in a honeymoon salad?
Lettuce alone
Why couldnt the pumpkin have kids?
He had a halloweener.
To which tier of fruits and vegetables do onions belong? They belong to the teary.
What happens when you go on an all-cheese diet?
You cheddar few pounds.
The old and wise onion had once told me that life is similar to onions. Whenever we peel off our protective layers, we end up crying.
Did you hear about the butcher who got into danger? His life was at steak!
Many people have a mythical belief about soup. It is called soup–erstition.
I didn’t know you could vape a chocolate bar until my wife told me to stop inhaling them.
What do dogs love to eat for breakfast?
woofles
Why did the cheese shop owner finally quit the business?
He was tired of the daily rind.
Why did the man go into the pizza business?
He wanted to make some dough.
Why do oranges wear suntan lotion? They peel in the sun.
What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!
I had a goat’s cheese pizza the other day.
He wasn’t happy.
Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock? Because it was marble cake!
Why did the corn stalks hold a ceremony in honor of the scarecrow?
To corn-gratulate him for being out standing in their field!
A berry from which you can directly drink out of is a straw-berry.
What happened to the pineapple who was turned down for a date? Crushed pineapple.
What did the pumpkin say to the jar? Soon I will be ajar too.