Tony, where do I even starch? I yam so happy we’re best spuds!
In the 1970s, hippies loved going to a Grateful Dead concert and getting toasted. That’s certainly the truth.
When I went to the shop to buy some strawberries, they didn't have any. It was such a fruitless trip.
How do you milk sheep ?
Release another iPhone.
My father loves eating reams of soup. That is the reason why I think he should be nominated to the Soup – ream – court!
What do we call the period in between eating a peach? – It is called a pit stop.
What do you call an anthropomorphic animal blended in ice cream?
A McFurry
He ordered 6 vodkas, 6 beers and 6 lemonades. The bartender asked if he would like a tray.
"No I have enough to carry as it is."
What’s Another Name For iPhone Chargers?
Apple Juice.
"You are so bottlefull to me."
When the strawberry's favorite song came on, he exclaimed "That's my jam!"
Have you wondered what made the strawberry such a smoothie? It is the yoghurt of course.
The peach couple from school is totally in love. They seem so perfect for peach other.
What type of chocolate do they sell at the airport?
Plane Chocolate!
What does a cheese lover say when someone keeps messing around with them?
“You gouda brie kidding!”
What do we call a plumb pineapple? It is called a pineapple chunk!
What kind of face cream does a strawberry buys?
Blackhead removal cream and scrub
How do two cherries make up after an argument? They cherry the hatchet.
What's in a honeymoon salad?
Lettuce alone
The pancake thought he was the best breakfast food because nobody stacked up to him.
Where do astronauts buy their milk? From the milky way!!!
I love meat. I think going vegetarian would be a big missed steak.
What do you do with epileptic lettuce? You make a seizure salad!
What do you call a chicken staring at lettuce?
Chicken sees a salad.
Where do squirrels go for fun?
The acorn-ival.
My milk found all these jokes to be pretty fun. He said they were a-moo-sing!
Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? SpongeBob SquarePants!
What do you get when you cross a pickle with an alligator?
A crocodill.
Where do you store peach juice? Inside of a peach-er.
Broccoli: I look like a tree. Walnut: I look like a brain. Mushroom: I look like an umbrella. Banan Can we change the topic?
What is the only thing that can cure a sick do-nut?
An antidought!
What does the watermelon say to its girlfriend on Valentine’s Day? – “You are one in a melon!”
When you want to propose to a person who loves strawberries, just say, "I love you berry much."
If fish is brain food, what do dumb people eat? Noodle soup.
Why did the cow and the bull become so close? Because they became beef-friends.
The onion husband and wife had a fight, and she told him that he shouldn't have exposed all his layers because it was making her cry.
Why do sharks swim in salt water?
If they swam in pepper water they would sneeze.
What do you call an angry nut with a mustache?
A pistachio.
What is the recipe for Honeymoon Salad? Lettuce alone without dressing.
I dropped a bottle of ketchup on my foot.
It caused immense pain to ma toes.
Why couldn’t the teddy bear finish his dessert?
Cause he was stuffed.
What kind of cheese do alcoholics eat?
Livarot.
Why is the baby strawberry crying?
Because its parents are jamming
Plain popcorn? You can do butter than that.
What do athletes drink before games? Sport-Tea.
My girlfriend was seasoning the soup. I asked, "What spice is that?", and she replied "Sage".
I said, "Sounds wise".
What is a strawberry's favorite music band? Pearl Jam.
How does a restaurant get the freshest ingredients? They cut a dill.
Why wouldn’t the reporter leave the mashed potatoes alone? He desperately wanted a scoop.
On what radio station would you hear Bob Dill-on?
Vlasic rock.