The fruit politician is losing its support in the country because of hate peach.
What do you call someone who steals from the keebler elves? A crook-ie
“How are you? ” “Well, I yam fried”
Why don’t oranges go around blind?
“Because they take Vitamin See!”
What do fruit bowls say when they dress up as a ghost on Halloween? Be cherry afraid!
Pumpkin Spice season is finally here, better latte than never.
What did ketchup say while spotting his friend at the gym?
Mustard all of your strength!
What a spud muffin.
"You can't sip with us."
Did you hear about the crab that went to the seafood disco? He pulled a muscle
An angry fruit yells at traffic in front of them
“Mango!”
The peach started acting all funny because it was really fuzzy.
I had one nutty nightmare last night, it gave me a kola sweat.
What do you call a womanising chocolate? A cad-bury.
What happens if a cashew falls down your shirt?
It becomes a chestnut.
What did the cow say to his friend when they met twice in the same day? “What a cow-incidence!”
“How was your day? ” “It was a total disas-tater”
What did the vicar use for his vegetable patch?
Lettuce spray.
What did the peanut say to the cashew after their argument?
Imma cashew outside!
When everyone agreed with Hulk at breakfast that they love waffles more, he said, "Not all heroes wear crepes."
Why couldn't the teddy bear finish his dessert? Cause he was stuffed.
Have you heard about the pig who killed his own farmer? He did it to save his bacon.
What happens when no one comes to your birthday party? You can have your cake and eat it too.
What nut is always begging for attention?
Pssst-tachios.
Why did the cherry go to the good drinks factory? It was cordially invited.
Why did the pineapple suddenly stop the car in the middle of the highway? Because it just ran out of juice.
What kind of apple has a short temper? A crab apple.
What did the fruit bowl say when it saw Santa Claus come down the chimney? We wish you a cherry Christmas!
How do astronauts like to eat their ice cream?
Floats.
Why do comedians often start their act with peanut butter jokes? They love to warm up the crown by spreading the laughter.
what does a female corn do when she likes a male corn?
she corn-fesses.
I am pretty sure that the favourite soup of Dracula is the Scream of tomato.
Whats the difference between onions and girls?
I cry when I cut up onions.
Why did the burglar break into the bakery? Because he heard the cakes were rich.
What do you call a fat kid who likes chocolate milk?
An OvalTeen
Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock? Because it was marble cake!
How old was the cave man on his birthday?
Stone Age.
What do you call a fruit that is rough around the edges? A bad apple.
What did the hot dog bun say to the hot dog? Stop touching my buns!
I met a girl in a vegetarian restaurant who said she recognized me, but I have literally never seen herbivore.
I always wondered why the watermelon loving librarian never touched any of the books; turns out she’d red them all.
I eat a ton of corn everyday.
I guess that makes me a cornivore.
Why did the lettuce stop dating the mushroom?
He though she was a pretty fungal, but didn't have mushroom on its schedule.
Hey you like cherry preserves ?
Never mind, its probably not your jam
What did the toast say to the psychic?
You bread my mind!
Why is it harder for Orange Juice to slide across a floor than apple juice?
Pulp Friction.
I have pea soup for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. That’s why I pea soup all night!
Everybody romaine calm.
Did you hear about the new watermelon powered cars set to come out next year? Yeah, it’s too bad you only get a water-melon the gallon.
My doctor told me "No more spicy food.", but I decided to have one last fennel fling.