Why did the Oreo go to the dentist? Because it lost its filling
Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I'm OK, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.
What do you call someone who steals from the keebler elves? A crook-ie
Saw a great offer on cheese in Tesco today!
It was buy one get one brie.
What do we get when we cross a Christmas tree with an apple? We will have a pine – apple!
What happens when no one comes to your birthday party? You can have your cake and eat it too.
Why did the orange lose his job at the factory? He didn’t concentrate.
What does a cow say to milk? I am your mother.
What eats nuts and bolts?
A squirrel that’s running late.
Strawberries are the most bullied of the fruits.
They're always getting picked on.
What do you get when you divide the circumference of a watermelon by it’s diameter? Watermelon PI.
Do not be sad because of these bad words. You are always a fineapple in my heart.
What do you call two banana skins? A pair of slippers
How should you live your life? By seasoning the moment.
What is a chocolate covered car called?
A Ferrari Rocher
How does lettuce listen to music?
Headphones.
Q: Why is a carrot orange and pointy?
A: Because if it was green and round, it would be a pea!
What do you get when you play Tug-of-War with a pig? Pulled-Pork
I told the cowboy to eat salad with his fingers
He said he needed a ranch hand.
I can’t help but laugh a little when I see a pun about chocolate bars… snickers
What do you call a cow who’s just given birth?
De-calf-inated!
My banana grandad got in an accident last year, he bruised like a peach!
A truck with an entire load of strawberries has crashed on the motorway. It's caused a real traffic jam.
What vegetable did King Arthur pull from the stone?
Exparagus.
What do you call a group of butchers coming together? A meating.
The strawberry was scared of the cream. They were afraid it had gone bad.
A Blueberry asked a strawberry to go to hell.
That was berry rude of him
What did an angry donut say to his wife?
Donut talk to me.
I thought of a new joke that started in a corn field.
But I'm not going to post it bc it's too corny.
"I'll be right back, I need to go for a pea," said the fruit during the interval.
What type of egg refuses to come out of his shell?
An egg-arophobic.
Ciabatta stay away from me because I don’t want naan of that. That’s one way to tell someone to keep away.
This joke is like the time I slipped and fell into a salad.
Corny on the Cobb.
When the peach pit farewell to his friend, he said, "See you later, peach out".
What does a cheese say when you ask him to share a secret?
He cantal.
How do you spell banana? E, V, I, L. Do banana's drink coke or pepsi? Neither, they drink blood because they're evil.
On Valentine's Day, the peach said to his wife, "You will always have a peach of my heart!"
Where did the onion find his family history?
In the archives
What is a pizza’s favorite movie?
Pie hard.
A boy lines up to get some apple juice and a girl lines up to get some orange juice
This would be funny but there’s no punchline.
What do you get when you use a cookie cutter shaped like a deer? Cookie doe!
What does a cat like to eat on his birthday? Mice cream and cake!
I like European food so I decided to Russia over there because I was Hungary. After Czech'ing the menu I ordered Turkey. When I was Finnished I told the waiter 'Spain good but there is Norway I could eat another bite'.
Why did the dairy farmer go on a diet? She wanted to cheddar a few pounds!
What do cannibals eat for dessert? Chocolate covered aunts.
Why does it take a while before a peach leaves a fruit basket? They have to give a goodbye peach first.
What do you call a pastry that is a priest? A Holy Donut!
Basketball players always drop cookies into their milk.
That way, it's a slam dunk.
What’s the best thing about being a butcher? You get to meat the best people.
Our local butcher had to go to the doctor the other day. He didn’t know what was wrong, but said that he was feeling offal.