Whats the best cheese to coax a bear down a mountain? Camembert (Come On Bear)
I eat a ton of corn everyday.
I guess that makes me a cornivore.
Why didn't the green pepper practice archery?
Because it didn't habanero.
What is a vegetable's favourite part of the song?
When the beet drops!
A berry from which you can directly drink out of is a straw-berry.
"You had me at merlot."
Why couldn’t the orange dance in the talent show without his partner?
Because it takes two to “tang-o.”
There’s this corn on the cob stand that I really like, but it started making ads
They were really corny.
For the last few Sundays, I have been receiving an onion pun in the mail. I don't know who is sending them. Guess it is onionymous.
The strawberry was scared of the cream. They were afraid it had gone bad.
What did the orange say before he started his new job?
“The zest is yet to come!”
What’s fat, hairy and drinks a lot of coffee?
Java the Hut!
Q: Who is Peach’s favorite actor?
A: Brad Pit.
Have you ever tried kangaroo meat? I have. It was tasty, but it made me a bit jumpy.
What's a barista's favorite exercise at the gym? The French press.
The orange was really sad at the event because it had no peelings whatsoever for the desperate prune.
Did you know that Beethoven's favorite fruit
Ba Na Na Naaa...Ba Na Na Naaa...
What did the Mexican wrestler say after he ate a taco that was too spicy?
“It’s okay, I’ll just guac it off”
What's worst than a monkey eating bananas? A monkey going bananas.
I made a pie with a can of peas in. Pea-can pie. It didn't taste how I imagined.
Did you hear the one about the apathetic vegetable?
It didn't carrot all.
A truck with an entire load of strawberries has crashed on the motorway. It's caused a real traffic jam.
"Oh, sweet child of wine."
What cheese cries the most?
Babybel.
Why is it harder for Orange Juice to slide across a floor than apple juice?
Pulp Friction.
I was going to tell you a joke about an egg but it's not all it's cracked up to be.
The worst type of criminal is he who mugs other people's coffee.
The walnut was not good at sports but did really well with his macadamia at school.
What day to eggs hate the most?
Fry-day.
You have two cows, but only milk one. Your friend asks you…
"What about the udder one?"
Wine Connoisser Point to Ponder: Did Marilyn drink Merlot?
Peaches tend to be really mean. After all, they have hearts of stone.
If you're in a food fight, always throw peas. We need to give peas a chance.
My local restaurant recently lost out on an entire order of the best local beef. No one has herd what happened to it.
At a get-together, one fruit asked another "I was wondering how have you been". The other replied "Just peachy, isn't that grape?"
Why did the teapot get in trouble? Because he was Naught-Tea.
What did the Mama Hot Dog say to the little frankfurter? Ketch-up!
Do you know what is so special about the alphabet soup of Twitter? It only allows 140 letters.
It’s not often that you find an eye anywhere but on the face. Cows, however, have a rib eye.”
Sherlock Holmes enters a room carrying a box of lemons
"Where'd you get those?" asks Watson.
"A lemon tree, my dear Watson. A lemon tree."
I yam rooting for you my sweet potato and I won't mash your heart
What is a lions favourite cheese? Roar-quefort
Do not be sad because of these bad words. You are always a fineapple in my heart.
What do you get when you spill soup on a comic book? Souperman.
Why did the pineapple’s phone die? It needed juice.
Q: Why wouldn’t the teacher bring the class to the green pea farm?
A: It was in a seedy part of town.
What do you call cheese who attends art openings?
Cultured.
How do monsters like their eggs?
Terri-fried.
What does a lemon pie and my wife have in common?
They both have meringue on them.
Dad: How does a farmer keep his cows in line?
Kids: How?
Dad: He keeps them a-cow-ntable!