What do you call corn with red, white and blue kernels?
Americorn.
When the peach pit farewell to his friend, he said, "See you later, peach out".
Be careful! Theres a deadly fruit on the loose
He has 7 charges of armed Strawbbery.
What did the hamburger coach tell his team after they lost the first round? “You have to keep frying, you can’t give up”.
Why did the one legged clown leave the cheese circus? Because he couldn't get his stilton.
What’s the perfect gift for someone who is always raisin’ the bar? Oatmeal
raisin.
What did the tortilla chip say to the avocado?
“Well, this is guacward.”
How are a car and a bicycle similar?
“You can’t make watermelon juice out of either of them.”
Where do you store peach juice? Inside of a peach-er.
My grandmother was famous all over town for growing delicious strawberries.
She made me promise that when she died, I would plant her strawberries on her grave so that people could enjoy them when they visited. When she passed away I fulfilled my promise. She’s dead and berried.
When the baby onion died just after being born, the doctors classified it as an o-neonatal death.
What is Bruce Lee’s favourite fruit? Wataaaaar melooooon?
The fruit politician is losing its support in the country because of hate peach.
Where do cows write down their most intimate thoughts? Inside of their dairy.
Do you hear about the pineapple and honeydew who try to get married? The court says that they cant – eloupe.
Many people have puns, but they will nut tella you.
What do you call a potato wearing glasses? A spec-tater!
My local restaurant recently lost out on an entire order of the best local beef. No one has herd what happened to it.
Q: Why did the pea sell his car?
A: The back seat didn’t have enough legume.
Dad: How does a farmer keep his cows in line?
Kids: How?
Dad: He keeps them a-cow-ntable!
What is a pirate’s favorite cheese?
Ched-arrrrgh!
He ordered 6 vodkas, 6 beers and 6 lemonades. The bartender asked if he would like a tray.
"No I have enough to carry as it is."
"I'd like to make a toast!", said the bread to the bride on her wedding day.
Q: Why do peas dislike noisy eaters?
A: Because they want peas and quiet.
What is ice cream’s favorite TV show?
Game of Cones.
Are avocados good for your heart?
Yes, they make for great avo-cardio.
What's green and got two wheels?
A motorpickle.
What does a duck that’s made of avocado say?
Guac.
National Herbs and Spices Day is celebrated annually on June 10.
What did the worm want to do when he grew up? He wanted to join the Apple Core (Corps).
The man on the table found hair in his soup. He said in rage "I will take the chef to soup-reme court".
Why do comedians often start their act with peanut butter jokes? They love to warm up the crown by spreading the laughter.
Why did the man keep punching his doughy friend?
To get a rise out of him!
Woman’s Rejection: Sorry. I don’t date guys I pit-y
My mom likes to feed everyone the soup she makes. She said it is her broth right.
Lettuce stop these governmental leeks.
What do you call young avocados?
Avokiddos.
What do you call a sleeping pizza?
A piZZZZZZa.
What do you call a very feminine cow that likes to be in charge? The Dairy Queen.
Why do Jack-o-lanterns have silly smiles on their faces? You'd have a silly smile, too, if you had just had all your brains scooped out!
Why do sharks swim in salt water?
If they swam in pepper water they would sneeze.
What do you call a half dozen wolves drinking beer?
A six pack.
I've started a Taco Bell themed John Coltrane cover band.x
We're called Crunchwrap Supremex
My wife started a tropical diet
There’s so much stuff in the house it’s enough to make a mango crazy.
How does white chocolate turn into dark chocolate?
Turn off the lights.
What would you call a dairy product that is horrible? “Udder bullshit.”
When you come across a strawberry that uses foul language, it must be berry rude.
Why don't cows have any money? Because farmers milk them dry
"Oh, sweet child of wine."
There’s this corn on the cob stand that I really like, but it started making ads
They were really corny.