Why didn't the unripe strawberry got any cards and chocolates for Valentine's Day? Because it was really sour.
Dad fertilized the garden with corn starch.
The plot thickens.
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What do you call mountain climbing corn?
Mountain-ears.
I invited a turkey over for dinner. He was very late for dinner – when I asked him about it, he said he was busy getting dressed.
Strawberries are great musicians because they make perfect jam sessions.
He is the best chef in the city. His soups take my broth away.
Why did the blonde stare at the carton of orange juice? It said concentrate.
You shouldn’t put orange slices in your beer. Well, maybe once in a Blue Moon.
“Spring, salad, shallot, picked”, said a friend. He knows his onions.
Which hand should we use to stir the soup? It is better to stir the soup with a spoon!
What type of chocolate do they sell at the airport?
Plane Chocolate!
Why did the orange turn into orange juice?
It couldn’t handle the pressure.
What do you get when you dip a kitten in chocolate? A Kitty Kat bar!
Why did the baker quit making donuts?
Because he was fed up with the hole business!
What's a nervous person's favorite drink?
Insecuri tea!
Sometimes, all you need is to shake a few trees to find the perfect peach for you.
Saw a great offer on cheese in Tesco today!
It was buy one get one brie.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Peanut.
Peanut who?
Peanut butter open the door!
Which is a meat patty's least favourite day of the week? Fry-day!
I just watched someone try to steal a pumpkin from a bull.
He got gourd.
What would you call two banana skins? A pair of slippers!
What kind of fruit salad is most resistant to sunburn?
The kind with extra melon in.
How do you make dog bread?
Just use collie flour.
Did you hear about the guy who opened up a store where they only sell Swiss cheese?
It’s a hole business strategy.
What does a worry wart drink? Safe-Tea.
What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck? Milk and Quackers!
What type of window do donuts prefer in their homes?
Double glazed.
What do cloves use for money? Garlic "Bread."
The IT peach-guy is an expert in the field of peach synthesis.
Why was the burger sad? Because he had the blue cheese.
Mom: *Struggling to make a decision between 1% or 2%.
Dad: Milk up your mind!
What do you call a melon that commits a crime?
“A water-fellon!”
What do you call corn with red, white and blue kernels?
Americorn.
Which word can be used to describe a peach that is surprised, shocked, or angry with strong emotion? – Speachless!
What do a pregnancy test and hummus have in common?
They both require a chickpea.
What do politicans need to drink? Honest-Tea.
Knock, knock
Who’s there? CIA CIA, who? CI ate your last doughnut!
What did one cheese say to the other during philosophy class?
“I dis a brie.”
If you bake an oatmeal raisin cookie at a temperature of 666 degrees, what do you call it? Raisin hell!
A cable TV installer walks into a bar and orders a beer.
The bartender says, "You'll be served sometime between 7am and 2pm."
Boy: Oh I can't believe that Jesus is so sweet! Girl: Well that's because He's a life saver!
"Read between the wines."
What happened to the man who turned into a pistachio?
He became a shell of who he once was.
Thank you for helping me. Biscuit’s the yeast I could do.
What word backwards can predict the future? Cookies (Seikooc as in psychic of you say it).
Onions have had a long process in the evolutionary chain. They have evolved into today's onions from onionderthals.
What rhymes with orange?
No, it doesn’t.
When the mama peach found out that his child had failed his class, she was s-peach-less.
What do you call a bacon wrapped dinosaur? Jurrasic Pork.
What does a lady in a mall do with a cheesey credit card? Go on a shopping brie.
Why did the one legged clown leave the cheese circus? Because he couldn't get his stilton.