Why did the farmer buy a brown cow?
He wanted chocolate milk.
What do you calla watermelon that just won’t stop committing crimes? A watefelon.
What's the difference between French fries and orange juice?
You can make orange juice out of orange, but not French fries out of French
How did Reese eat her soup? Witherspoon.
What did the vicar use for his vegetable patch?
Lettuce spray.
Do you know what the favourite soup of a ghost is? It is the Scream of Broccoli.
Did you see the movie about the hot dog? It was an Oscar Wiener.
Peas excuse how bad this pun is.
What do you get if you divide the circumference of a bowl of ice cream by its diameter? Pi a'la mode.
Where can you find the best nuts in London? Nut-tinghill.
What did the pizza say to the delivery guy?
“You don’t pepper-own me.”
…and what did the delivery guy say in reply?
“Hey now, don’t get saucy.”
The onion husband and wife had a fight, and she told him that he shouldn't have exposed all his layers because it was making her cry.
What do you call a cup of leaf juice that doesn’t want to be a dad?
Absent-tea parent.
What do you call a pastry that is a priest?
A Holy Donut!
Are you a taco?
Cause you sure taco lot
Interesting fact: A nectarine can also be a peach if it does not have peach fuzz.
What do you call a bee that makes a milk?
Boo-bee
What is a basketball players favorite kind of cheese? Swish cheese!
Why did the banana go to see the doctor? The banana was not peeling very well.
Keep calm and carrot on.
My favorite fruit is the pear.
Because if you have two and you eat one, you still have a pear left.
What's a barista's favorite exercise at the gym? The French press.
What do cheese makers dance to on halloween? The muenster mash!
Strawberries are considered to be the most bullied fruits because they're always getting picked on.
"You're the wine that I want."
What is a snowman’s favorite type of burger? A chilli cheese burger with iceberg lettuce.
What is the only thing that can cure a sick do-nut?
An antidought!
What kind of nuts come in cans?
Creamed a-corn.
Which cow has great pickup lines? A cow which is smooth as milk.
What do you call an apple that's been around the world? Johnny Appleseed.
Strawberries are berry healthy. They pack a punch when it comes to beating cancer and other diseases.
My mom is really soup-rised at the outcome when she puts yeast in the broth.
Why was the potato put in an asylum? It was starch raving mad.
Q: What did the old orange see before it died?
A: The grim ripe-r.
How do playful monkeys go down the stairs?
They slide down the banana-ster!
A strawberry feels most comfortable in its py-jam-as.
Young Billy had to mail a loaf of bread at the toast office today.
What sport are eggs best at?
Running.
What do leprechauns love to barbecue? Short ribs!
What kind of milk do people drink in Mexico? Soy milk.
A never-ending natural supply of beer?
Hops springs eternal.
My friend: *Throws salt at me*
Me: Don’t assault me!
My brother gave me whole milk, but I can only have nut milk with my cereal. How dairy!
What is a lion’s favorite cheese?
Roarquefort.
When you come across oranges wearing suntan lotion, don’t judge them harshly. They do so in order not to peel.
Do you know why does your mother often shave a peach when cooking? Because she only needs nectarines for the recipe.
What do magician avocados say?
Avocadabra!
What do you get when an Elephant sits on an Orange?
Orange squash.
Why shouldn’t you take corn on an airplane?
Your ears will pop!
If we played hot potato I’d lose, because I’d never let you go.