Why did the monkey like the banana? Because it had appeal!
my buddy’s sad after getting fired from taco bell, so being a caring friend i asked if he wanted to
taco bout it?
The strawberry went out with the grape only because he couldn't find a date.
Why do ice cream cones always carry an umbrella?
There’s a chance of sprinkles.
What do you call a strawberry in math?
A berry-able.
Why did the cow fall down while being milked? Because the rug was pulled out from udder it.
"Oh, sweet child of wine."
If there was a material made of milk which could store electricity...
...it would be called buttery.
I replaced the milk in the carton with lemon juice. Everyone was really sour about it.
"You had me at merlot."
I took the recent snow warnings with a pinch of salt.
What kind of cookies do poor people want during Halloween? Fortune cookies.
I once had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of carbonated orange juice.
Thankfully it was just a fanta sea.
What type of keys does the gingerbread man unlock his door with? cook-keys!
What is the favorite color of onions all around the world? Their favorite color is the o-neon.
What happened after the conifer fell in love at the orchard? A pineapple tree.
Who tells the best egg jokes?
Comedi-hens.
Why does bread hate hot weather?
It just feels too toasty.
Why is the baby strawberry crying?
Because its parents are jamming
What do you say if someone steps on a banana peel? Well I guess he didn't find that appealing!
You may want to seek help if you feel despresso when you don't have coffee.
I eat a ton of corn everyday.
I guess that makes me a cornivore.
Did you hear about the love affair between sugar and cream?
It was icing on the cake.
Singular: One mango
Plural: Two menwent
What did the glass of wine say to the beer?
Nothing... They barley knew each other.
Vampires love cookies too, they love No-stake cookies.
I’ve been told that I need to stop making puns about meat… But I just can’t stop cold turkey.
What do you call a steak hurtling through space? A meat-ior!
How did the avocado feel after a day at the gym?
Hard core.
What’s a Biblical happening for nuts?
“The nut-tivity.“
What do you get when you dip a kitten in chocolate? A Kitty Kat bar!
"Be kind, re-wine."
I was throwing oranges at tropical birds. One of them caught one then said: “Toucan play that game”
Why can’t people without feet have dairy products? They lactose.
I like to roll peas from the top of a mountain. I always start at the peak.
My wife asked if I'd be available to drain some vegetables next week.
I said I'd check my colander.
Say this aloud: Eye Yam Stew Peed
How do you celebrate orange drink that doesn't expire?
Woo! Tang is forever!
What did the orange say before jumping into the juicer?
“The zest is yet to come!”
What’s the best thing to put in a donut?
Your teeth.
What do you call it when a cheese goes #2?
Fondue-due.
What did four of the last five presidents drink? Left-Tea.
In a world that is full of apples, it is much better to be a pineapple.
What do you find if you hang from a cherry tree for hours and hours? You find that your arms get sore.
Patient: "Nurse im suffering from bacon disease!" Nurse: "Baloney"
What does a lemon pie and my wife have in common?
They both have meringue on them.
Did you hear the one about the apathetic vegetable?
It didn't carrot all.
Why should you always bring a bag of tortilla chips to a party?
In queso emergency.
What do cannibals eat for dessert?
Chocolate covered aunts.
I keep thinking I'll make breakfast pancakes, but I end up waffling.