What do you call an ant dipped in chocolate? Decad-ant.
What currency do fruit use to make purchases?
Banana bread!
What is a cannibal’s favorite cheese?
Limb-burger.
If you bake an oatmeal raisin cookie at a temperature of 666 degrees, what do you call it? Raisin hell!
Why did the monkey like the banana? Because it had appeal!
Why is it harder for Orange Juice to slide across a floor than apple juice?
Pulp Friction.
Why doesn't Daniel Tosh eat Hot Dogs? He can't find the zipper
What did mama bread say to her kids?
It’s way past your breadtime!
What do we call a beautiful picture drawn by a peach artist? – It is a great peach of work.
A peach biologist was looking for a peach-tree-dish for his upcoming experiment.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you going to open the door.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef!
Where do you go to learn how to make ice cream?
Sundae school.
After the death of his wife a few years, the pineapple stands on the graveyard and says “I pine for you, sweetheart!”
Trying to find a new place, I don’t need mushroom.
What did the egg say to the clown?
You crack me up.
A turkey's favorite dessert is a strawberry gobbler.
Why was the burger sad? Because he had the blue cheese.
Did you hear the one about the apathetic vegetable?
It didn't carrot all.
In the history class, the onion teachers taught the student onions that during the vegetable cold war, the Soviet Onion was a superpower.
Why are bananas never lonely?
Because they hang around in bunches.
what does a female corn do when she likes a male corn?
she corn-fesses.
Fruit puns intended
Does he avacado? Because If not you should let that mango.
Why do onions have poor self-image?
Because people cry when they get onions naked.
What do you call a male orange?
Mangerine!
Broccoli: I look like a tree. Walnut: I look like a brain. Mushroom: I look like an umbrella. Banan Can we change the topic?
What is a vegetable's favourite part of the song?
When the beet drops!
The onion teacher was teaching her onion students about figures of speech. Today, she was teaching onionomatopia.
Things don’t always pine out the way we want them to, but we can-nut give up!
What is a squirrel’s favorite drink? A Peanut-Kola-da.
When is a vegetable also a nut?
When it’s a corn!
What did the peanut say to the cashew after their argument?
Imma cashew outside!
What did the egg do when it saw the frying pan?
It scrambled.
What do you get when it rains potatoes? Spuddles.
Why do the hot dogs with ketchup spoil early?
Because the sauce ages.
What did the Mexican wrestler say after he ate a taco that was too spicy?
“It’s okay, I’ll just guac it off”
What’s the difference between a Starbucks latte and a whore?
Nothing, they both suck and empty your wallet!
What do you call Chewbacca when you have chocolate stuck in your hair?
chocolate chip wookiee.
What did Snow White call her chicken?
Egg White.
Q: What do you call two peas in a pod?
A: Peepee.
What do you call a cow with no legs at all? Ground beef
What do you call an onion that keeps on jumping up and down? You call it a spring onion!
What kind of donuts can fly?
The plain ones.
I was asked why I love to clean lemon juice from windows, to which I replied
“It’s easy peasy lemon squeegee.”
What do you call a sad cup of coffee? A depresso.
How does a potato win at Street Fighter? By mashing the kick button.
What do fruit bowls say when they dress up as a ghost on Halloween? Be cherry afraid!
What is an astronauts favorite chocolate? A marsbar!
What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A blood orange.
How do you get the most apples at Halloween? Take a snorkel.