She'll take whatever beans necessary to get her daily cup of coffee. Whatever. Beans. Necessary.
Some very good advice strawberries give to their children is to respect their elder-berries.
On my farm, an entire lot of onions had some allergic reactions that broke out in chives!
My sister's trying to get famous. She'll never make it, she's just a wanna-pea.
What do you call a magician nut?
“An individual who is able to turn into a nut.”
Why is ice cream so bad at tennis?
They have a soft serve.
What’s the difference between England’s football team and a tea bag
A tea bag stays longer in the cup.
Why didn't the green pepper practice archery?
Because it didn't habanero.
Q: What do you call an angry pea?
A: Grum-pea!
What do you call a very little cherry? Pit-iful.
What became of the pig who got fired from his job? He became canned ham.
What is a lions favourite cheese? Roar-quefort
Mom: *Struggling to make a decision between 1% or 2%.
Dad: Milk up your mind!
Can I have some of your avocado?
GUAC NO! I give zero guacs! You need to guac off!
If you can't beat them...
Just have your eggs fried.
What do you get when you hghyphotocopy fruit?
Paper jam.
Which tool does a peach biologist often use for its experiment? – A peachtree dish (Petri dish).
A scarecrow's favorite fruit to eat is straw-berry.
What is the best way to stop a pizza curling?
Hide its brush.
Meat cutters are really no good at stand up comedy; they tend to butcher all the best jokes.
My friend exports the lilikoi fruit...
He says it’s his passion.
What happens when you buy too much ice cream?
Breyer’s remorse.
"Another glass? Wine not?!"
What do you call a baby potato? Tater tots!
I told my dad I wanted world peace. He said whirled peas sounded horrible.
What did the orange say before jumping into the juicer?
“The zest is yet to come!”
I like my wine sweet and my humor dry.
There’s a great new rock and roll cover artist doing the rounds at the moment – his name is Chuck Cherry.
I thought of a new joke that started in a corn field.
But I'm not going to post it bc it's too corny.
What’s an orange’s favourite animal? An orange-utan.
What is the difference between a pineapple and a school bus? The little pricks are at the inside of the bus, but on the outside of the pineapple.
When you mix a salt and water, you get a solution. When you mix a salt and battery, what do you get?
Arrested.
When I was in grade school, one of my best friends spoke Mandarin. One day, he introduced me to his parents and I told them I don’t speak orange.
A cup of coffee is the ideal start to a brew-tiful morning!
Why do potatoes make good detectives? Because they keep their eyes peeled.
Why did the banana go to the hairdressers? Because it had split ends!
What’s the most supportive beer?
Root beer.
What type of nut do you find in the toilet?
A pee-nut.
Thanks to you, I’m saddled with unnecessary peelings.
All the contestants at the pig Olympics were very happy with their prizes. They each won pork medallions.
What do you call a cow on the barnyard floor? Ground Beef What do you call a cow with no front legs? Lean Beef
Don't drink too much coffee after breakfast. You might face a latte problems.
Q: Why were the two green pea plants so close?
A: They had deep roots.
A thesaurus' favorite thing to eat for breakfast is a synonym roll.
Why is it harder for Orange Juice to slide across a floor than apple juice?
Pulp Friction.
What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck? Milk and Quackers!
I ran out of toilet paper, so started wiping using lettuce leaves
But I'm scared this is the tip of the iceberg.
I'm worried that the milk I got this morning was from a cloned cow. It tasted exactly like the milk I had yesterday.
What can you make with 6.02 x 10^23 avocados?
Guaca-mole.
The late actor Sir Sean Connery was a big fan of the onion because well, he usshed to love them shh-allot.