Why did the cheese shop owner finally quit the business?
He was tired of the daily rind.
What is Tom Hanks' favourite soft cheese? Philadelphia.
What do you tell a cheese going through a hard time?
Ricotta get through this.
How do you know when a cheese is full of himself?
Whatever you say, he’ll say he is feta.
Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded? De-brie went everywhere!
What do you call a grilled cheese sandwich that's all up in your face? Too close for comfort food.
What do you call cheese that is sad? Blue cheese.
How did the cheese professor start class every day?
Oh queso…
What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho Cheese!
What do you tell your friend after she breaks up with a cheese lover?
You’re cheddar off without him!
What did the cheese call himself after he got dumped?
Forever provolone.
Why should you always bring a bag of tortilla chips to a party?
In queso emergency.
What did one cheese say to the other during philosophy class?
“I dis a brie.”
What is a basketball players favorite kind of cheese? Swish cheese!
What is a cheese lover’s favorite type of music?
R n’ Brie.
What do you call cheese who attends art openings?
Cultured.
Did you hear about the guy who opened up a store where they only sell Swiss cheese?
It’s a hole business strategy.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite track and field event?
The curdles.
How do you know it’s getting kind of serious with a cheese lover?
They tell you they are pretty fondue you.
What did one cheddar cheese say to the other cheddar cheese at prom?
Looking sharp!
What did the cheese say after escaping the mouse? I'm Brieeee!
How do you share a piece of cheese with a bear?
Caerphilly.
Why didn’t the chef slice his cheese?
He had grater plans.
What did the blind man say after being handed a cheese grater? "That's the most violent book I've ever read."
What activity should you do when you’re babysitting little cheeses?
Build a roquefort.
What was the cheese’s strategy when it ran for president?
Make America grate again.
Did you hear what happened when the decorator painted his wife with cheese? He double Gloucester!
What do you get when you cross a smurf and a cow?
Blue cheese.
What happens when you go on an all-cheese diet?
You cheddar few pounds.
What did one cheese tell the other cheese on Valentine’s day?
Brie mine.
Why doesn’t anyone like to hang out with crackers?
Someone always cuts the cheese.
What is a cannibal's favourite cheese? Limburger
What does a cheese lover say when someone keeps messing around with them?
“You gouda brie kidding!”
What do you call a socialite made of cheese?
Paris Stilton.
What do you call referential cheese?
Feta.
What do you call a piece of cheese that likes to shoot hoops? Swiss!
Did you hear about the cheese lover who took his girlfriend for granted?
How dairy.
What did the street cheese say after he got attacked by several blades? I've felt grater.
What do you call a flying cheese?
A curd of prey.
What do they say when you leave the cheese store?
Have a gouda day!
What happened after an explosion at a French cheese factory? All that was left was de brie.
What kind of cheese do rodents like? Mousearella.
Why doesn't cheddar like to party with crackers? Someone always cuts the cheese.
What is the name of the country near Iraq that is made entirely of cheese? Curd-istan
Why couldn’t the cheese sleep?
He was scared there was a munster under the bed.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite musician?
Mozart-arella.
Did you hear about the guy who forgot to use the colander when making mac and cheese?
His wife gave him a restraining order.
When do they smother a burrito in cheese? In best queso scenario.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite Village People song?
Nacho Man.
Saw a great offer on cheese in Tesco today!
It was buy one get one brie.