How does the Cheese Detective choose his clients?
On a queso by queso basis.
Which search engine is popular amongst mice? Ask Cheese.
Why did the wheel act so bossy? Cause he was the "Big Cheese."
Why didn’t the chef slice his cheese?
He had grater plans.
Why did the cheese lover hide cheese in the back of his fridge?
In queso emergency.
What did the cheese say to the other cheese? I smell something swiss-picious!
Why should you always bring a bag of tortilla chips to a party?
In queso emergency.
What did the commedian say after after a bad set?
That crowd was laughtose intolerant.
How do you know when a cheese is full of himself?
Whatever you say, he’ll say he is feta.
What did the cheese call himself after he got dumped?
Forever provolone.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite track and field event?
The curdles.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite musician?
Mozart-arella.
What do you call a grilled cheese sandwich that's all up in your face? Too close for comfort food.
Which is the Richest Cheese in the world? Paris Stilton.
What do you tell your friend after she breaks up with a cheese lover?
You’re cheddar off without him!
How do you share a piece of cheese with a bear?
Caerphilly.
What did the blind man say after being handed a cheese grater? "That's the most violent book I've ever read."
What does a lady in a mall do with a cheesey credit card? Go on a shopping brie.
What were the cheese’s wedding vows?
To havarti and to hold.
Did you hear about the guy who opened up a store where they only sell Swiss cheese?
It’s a hole business strategy.
What cheese surrounds a medieval castle? Moatzeralla
What is a lions favourite cheese? Roar-quefort.
What covers the floor of the motzarella forest?
Cheese sticks.
Did you hear about the cheese lover who took his girlfriend for granted?
How dairy.
What do you call a piece of cheese that likes to shoot hoops? Swiss!
What did the street cheese say after he got attacked by several blades? I've felt grater.
Why couldn’t the cheese sleep?
He was scared there was a munster under the bed.
What did the aged cheddar say when his mom told him he couldn’t see a movie that was rated R?
“I’m mature for my age.”
How do you know it’s getting kind of serious with a cheese lover?
They tell you they are pretty fondue you.
Who were the first cheese lovers ever?
Edam and Eve.
Did you hear about the cheese shop that was destroyed by a tornado?
All that’s left is da brie.
What do they say when you leave the cheese store?
Have a gouda day!
When should you go on a cheese diet? If you need to cheddar a few pounds
Why does the Pope love Swiss cheese so much?
It’s hole-y.
What do you tell a cheese going through a hard time?
Ricotta get through this.
Why did the cheese get in trouble?
It was up to no gouda.
What is Tom Hanks' favourite soft cheese? Philadelphia.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite Village People song?
Nacho Man.
What’s a good way to start a conversation with a cheese plate on Tinder?
“Hello. Is it brie you’re looking for?”
What do you call a cheese that is an alcoholic? Livarot
What cheese should you use to hide a horse? Mascarpone.
What is a lion’s favorite cheese?
Roarquefort.
What does a piece of cheese tell you during a game of tag?
Cheez it.
What does a cheese say when they look in the mirror in the morning?
Halloumi.
What do you call cheese that is acting crazy? A basket queso.
What did the Cheese salesman say? That cheese may be Gouda, but this one is Feta!
Where should you call if you find a bad cheese shop?
The feta business bureau.
Did you hear what happened to the cheese after its breakup?
It got provolonely.
Why didn’t I believe what the cheese salesman told me?
It was too gouda to be true.
What did Shakespeare say as he was making a cheese plate?
To brie or not to brie.