What did the commedian say after after a bad set?
That crowd was laughtose intolerant.
Why couldn’t the cheese sleep?
He was scared there was a munster under the bed.
What did the street cheese say after he got attacked by several blades? I've felt grater.
What do you call it when a cheese goes #2?
Fondue-due.
Did you hear about the cheese failed to medal at the olympics? It fell at the final curdle
What does a lady in a mall do with a cheesey credit card? Go on a shopping brie.
Which is the Richest Cheese in the world? Paris Stilton.
What do you call an oriental cheese? Parm-asian
Why did the cheese shop owner finally quit the business?
He was tired of the daily rind.
What did the cheese say after escaping the mouse? I'm Brieeee!
What did one cheese say to the other during philosophy class?
“I dis a brie.”
I have an addiction to cheddar cheese.
But it's only mild.
What did the mom cheese tell the little boy cheese when he got hurt on his bike?
“Gotta take the gouda with the bad.”
What kind of cheese makes the best music?
Brieoncé.
What did the cheese call himself after he got dumped?
Forever provolone.
What happens when you go on an all-cheese diet?
You cheddar few pounds.
How does a cheese tell you they want to be with you?
“I think you and I would look gouda together.”
What is a cannibal's favourite cheese? Limburger
What is a lions favourite cheese? Roar-quefort
What does a cheese say when you ask him to share a secret?
He cantal.
Why was the cheese asked to leave the restaurant?
The cook said “we don’t serve your rind here”.
Why didn’t I believe what the cheese salesman told me?
It was too gouda to be true.
Why doesn't cheddar like to party with crackers? Someone always cuts the cheese.
What hotel do cheese lover’s stay in?
The Stilton.
Did you hear about the guy who forgot to use the colander when making mac and cheese?
His wife gave him a restraining order.
What group of cheese has been known to fly? Curds of prey!
Did you hear about the guy who opened up a store where they only sell Swiss cheese?
It’s a hole business strategy.
How does the Cheese Detective choose his clients?
On a queso by queso basis.
What kind of cheese do rodents like? Mousearella.
What do you tell a cheese going through a hard time?
Ricotta get through this.
When should you go on a cheese diet? If you need to cheddar a few pounds
What do you get when you cross a goblin and cheese? Muenster cheese.
Why does cheese look normal? Because everyone else on the plate is crackers.
What do you call cheese who attends art openings?
Cultured.
What do you call a cheese that is an alcoholic? Livarot
What do you call a piece of cheese that likes to shoot hoops? Swiss!
What covers the floor of the motzarella forest?
Cheese sticks.
What cheese is made backwards?
Edam.
Why did the wheel act so bossy? Cause he was the "Big Cheese."
Who were the first cheese lovers ever?
Edam and Eve.
Why do cheeses make bad musicians?
They’re always sharp.
What do you call cheese that is acting crazy? A basket queso.
Why did the cheese get in trouble?
It was up to no gouda.
Why didn’t the chef slice his cheese?
He had grater plans.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite Village People song?
Nacho Man.
What did one cheddar cheese say to the other cheddar cheese at prom?
Looking sharp!
What is a cannibal’s favorite cheese?
Limb-burger.
What do you get when you cross a smurf and a cow?
Blue cheese.
What do you call cheese that is sad? Blue cheese.
What is a pirate’s favorite cheese?
Ched-arrrrgh!