What do you call it when a cheese goes #2?
Fondue-due.
What happened after an explosion at a French cheese factory? All that was left was de brie.
Why doesn’t anyone like to hang out with crackers?
Someone always cuts the cheese.
What did mutter say to paneer? Tu cheese badi hai mast mast.
How does the Cheese Detective choose his clients?
On a queso by queso basis.
What does a piece of cheese tell you during a game of tag?
Cheez it.
What's the most popular American cheese sitcom? Curd Your Enthusiasm
Which is the most religious cheese? Swiss, because it is holy.
Whats the best cheese to coax a bear down a mountain? Camembert (Come On Bear)
When should you go on a cheese diet? If you need to cheddar a few pounds
What do you call a grilled cheese sandwich that's all up in your face? Too close for comfort food.
What cheese is made backwards?
Edam.
Did you hear about the guy who opened up a store where they only sell Swiss cheese?
It’s a hole business strategy.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite type of music?
R n’ Brie.
Did you hear what happened to the cheese after its breakup?
It got provolonely.
What did the street cheese say after he got attacked by several blades? I've felt grater.
What do you call cheese that is sad? Blue cheese.
How do you share a piece of cheese with a bear?
Caerphilly.
What cheese should you use to hide a horse? Mascarpone.
What kind of cheese to beavers eat?
Edam.
What were the cheese’s wedding vows?
To havarti and to hold.
What do you tell a cheese going through a hard time?
Ricotta get through this.
When do they smother a burrito in cheese? In best queso scenario.
What does a lady in a mall do with a cheesey credit card? Go on a shopping brie.
What is Tom Hanks' favourite soft cheese? Philadelphia.
Why didn’t I believe what the cheese salesman told me?
It was too gouda to be true.
What activity should you do when you’re babysitting little cheeses?
Build a roquefort.
What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror ? Halloumi (Hello me)
Did you hear about the guy who had an addiction to cheddar cheese?
It was only mild.
What is a cannibal's favourite cheese? Limburger
Did you hear what happened when the decorator painted his wife with cheese? He double Gloucester!
What do cheese makers dance to on halloween? The muenster mash!
How do you get a mouse to smile?
Say cheese.
What do you call cheese that is acting crazy? A basket queso.
What is a cheese’s favorite kind of philosophy?
Epistemology and fetaphysics.
What do you get when you cross a smurf and a cow?
Blue cheese.
What pickup line can you use to pick up a cheese lover?
“Are you cheddar? ‘Cause you’re lookin’ sharp!”
Do you want to hear a pizza joke? Never mind it's too cheesy.
Where should you call if you find a bad cheese shop?
The feta business bureau.
Why does the Pope love Swiss cheese so much?
It’s hole-y.
What kind of cheese protects a castle?
Moat-zarella.
What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho Cheese!
What did one cheese tell the other cheese on Valentine’s day?
Brie mine.
How do you know when a cheese is full of himself?
Whatever you say, he’ll say he is feta.
What do you tell your friend after she breaks up with a cheese lover?
You’re cheddar off without him!
What did the mom cheese tell the little boy cheese when he got hurt on his bike?
“Gotta take the gouda with the bad.”
Why did the cheese get in trouble?
It was up to no gouda.
Why did the parmesan swipe left on the cheddar?
His pick-up line was too cheesey.
What’s a good way to start a conversation with a cheese plate on Tinder?
“Hello. Is it brie you’re looking for?”
What does a cheese say when you ask him to share a secret?
He cantal.