What do you call a cheese that is an alcoholic? Livarot
What did one cheese tell the other cheese on Valentine’s day?
Brie mine.
What does a real cheese freak say when they come to your door?
“I’d like to talk to you about Cheesus.”
How does the Cheese Detective choose his clients?
On a queso by queso basis.
How did the cheese get such curly hair?
It got a permasan.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite track and field event?
The curdles.
When should you go on a cheese diet? If you need to cheddar a few pounds
What happens when you go on an all-cheese diet?
You cheddar few pounds.
What do you call it when a cheese goes #2?
Fondue-due.
What does a piece of cheese tell you during a game of tag?
Cheez it.
Why did the wheel act so bossy? Cause he was the "Big Cheese."
Why doesn’t anyone like to hang out with crackers?
Someone always cuts the cheese.
What did the aged cheddar say when his mom told him he couldn’t see a movie that was rated R?
“I’m mature for my age.”
Why didn’t I believe what the cheese salesman told me?
It was too gouda to be true.
Do you want to hear a pizza joke? Never mind it's too cheesy.
Why does cheese look normal? Because everyone else on the plate is crackers.
What did the grilled cheese sandwich say to their date?
“You make me melt.”
How did the cheese professor start class every day?
Oh queso…
What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho Cheese!
Why did the cheese lover hide cheese in the back of his fridge?
In queso emergency.
What does a lady in a mall do with a cheesey credit card? Go on a shopping brie.
What do you call cheese that is acting crazy? A basket queso.
What’s a good way to start a conversation with a cheese plate on Tinder?
“Hello. Is it brie you’re looking for?”
How do you know it’s getting kind of serious with a cheese lover?
They tell you they are pretty fondue you.
What did the street cheese say after he got attacked by several blades? I've felt grater.
What kind of cheese do rodents like? Mousearella.
What does a cheese say when they look in the mirror in the morning?
Halloumi.
What cheese is made backwards?
Edam.
What did the mom cheese tell the little boy cheese when he got hurt on his bike?
“Gotta take the gouda with the bad.”
Did you hear what happened to the cheese after its breakup?
It got provolonely.
What does a cheese lover say when someone keeps messing around with them?
“You gouda brie kidding!”
What did one cheddar cheese say to the other cheddar cheese at prom?
Looking sharp!
What happened after an explosion at a French cheese factory? All that was left was de brie.
What do you get when you cross a smurf and a cow?
Blue cheese.
Which search engine is popular amongst mice? Ask Cheese.
What do you call a flying cheese?
A curd of prey.
Who were the first cheese lovers ever?
Edam and Eve.
What were the cheese’s wedding vows?
To havarti and to hold.
What do you feed the son of god? Cheeses of Nazareth.
What do they say when you leave the cheese store?
Have a gouda day!
What Welsh cheese must you always eat with caution? Caerphilly
Why do cheeses make bad musicians?
They’re always sharp.
What do you get when you cross a goblin and cheese? Muenster cheese.
Did you hear about the cheese failed to medal at the olympics? It fell at the final curdle
What is a cannibal’s favorite cheese?
Limb-burger.
Did you hear about the guy who opened up a store where they only sell Swiss cheese?
It’s a hole business strategy.
What cheese surrounds a medieval castle? Moatzeralla
Why was the cheese asked to leave the restaurant?
The cook said “we don’t serve your rind here”.
What did one cheese say to the other during philosophy class?
“I dis a brie.”
What is a cheese lover’s favorite type of music?
R n’ Brie.