Why did the wheel act so bossy? Cause he was the "Big Cheese."
How do you get a mouse to smile?
Say cheese.
How does the Cheese Detective choose his clients?
On a queso by queso basis.
I have an addiction to cheddar cheese.
But it's only mild.
What is a lion’s favorite cheese?
Roarquefort.
What does a real cheese freak say when they come to your door?
“I’d like to talk to you about Cheesus.”
What did the cheese say after escaping the mouse? I'm Brieeee!
What cheese cries the most?
Babybel.
What is a cannibal’s favorite cheese?
Limb-burger.
What happened after an explosion at a French cheese factory? All that was left was de brie.
Where should you call if you find a bad cheese shop?
The feta business bureau.
What pickup line can you use to pick up a cheese lover?
“Are you cheddar? ‘Cause you’re lookin’ sharp!”
What did the cheese call himself after he got dumped?
Forever provolone.
What is a pirate’s favorite cheese?
Ched-arrrrgh!
What activity should you do when you’re babysitting little cheeses?
Build a roquefort.
What is the name of the country near Iraq that is made entirely of cheese? Curd-istan
What does a cheese like to drink after a long day?
Morbier.
Why didn’t the chef slice his cheese?
He had grater plans.
What do you call cheese that is sad? Blue cheese.
Why was the cheese asked to leave the restaurant?
The cook said “we don’t serve your rind here”.
What do you call cheese that is acting crazy? A basket queso.
When should you go on a cheese diet? If you need to cheddar a few pounds
What does a cheese say when they look in the mirror in the morning?
Halloumi.
Why does cheese look normal? Because everyone else on the plate is crackers.
What do you tell your friend after she breaks up with a cheese lover?
You’re cheddar off without him!
What cheese surrounds a medieval castle? Moatzeralla
Why did the cheese shop owner finally quit the business?
He was tired of the daily rind.
What's the most popular American cheese sitcom? Curd Your Enthusiasm
What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho Cheese!
Did you hear about the guy who had an addiction to cheddar cheese?
It was only mild.
What wisdom did the daddy cheese pass down to his son?
A curd in the hand is worth two in the bush.
What did one cheese say to the other during philosophy class?
“I dis a brie.”
Who were the first cheese lovers ever?
Edam and Eve.
What kind of cheese do alcoholics eat?
Livarot.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite Village People song?
Nacho Man.
What did the aged cheddar say when his mom told him he couldn’t see a movie that was rated R?
“I’m mature for my age.”
How does a cheese tell you they want to be with you?
“I think you and I would look gouda together.”
How do you know it’s getting kind of serious with a cheese lover?
They tell you they are pretty fondue you.
What does a cheese say when you ask him to share a secret?
He cantal.
When shouldn't you believe a word your cheese is saying? When it's too Gouda to be true.
Why doesn't cheddar like to party with crackers? Someone always cuts the cheese.
Which is the most religious cheese? Swiss, because it is holy.
What did the commedian say after after a bad set?
That crowd was laughtose intolerant.
What do you call it when a cheese goes #2?
Fondue-due.
What is a lions favourite cheese? Roar-quefort
What cheese should you use to hide a horse? Mascarpone.
Did you hear about the cheese lover who took his girlfriend for granted?
How dairy.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite track and field event?
The curdles.
What do you call a socialite made of cheese?
Paris Stilton.
What is a cheese’s favorite kind of philosophy?
Epistemology and fetaphysics.