What happens when you go on an all-cheese diet?
You cheddar few pounds.
What is Tom Hanks' favourite soft cheese? Philadelphia.
What kind of cheese makes the best music?
Brieoncé.
How do you know it’s getting kind of serious with a cheese lover?
They tell you they are pretty fondue you.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite musician?
Mozart-arella.
What does a cheese say when they look in the mirror in the morning?
Halloumi.
What covers the floor of the motzarella forest?
Cheese sticks.
What cheese surrounds a medieval castle? Moatzeralla
What did one cheese say to the other during philosophy class?
“I dis a brie.”
Did you hear about the cheese shop that was destroyed by a tornado?
All that’s left is da brie.
What kind of cheese do rodents like? Mousearella.
What do you call a cheese that is an alcoholic? Livarot
What did the cheese call himself after he got dumped?
Forever provolone.
What is a lions favourite cheese? Roar-quefort.
Did you hear about the cheese lover who took his girlfriend for granted?
How dairy.
What is a pirate’s favorite cheese?
Ched-arrrrgh!
What happened after an explosion at a French cheese factory? All that was left was de brie.
What is a cheese’s favorite kind of philosophy?
Epistemology and fetaphysics.
Which search engine is popular amongst mice? Ask Cheese.
When do they smother a burrito in cheese? In best queso scenario.
What do you call an oriental cheese? Parm-asian
Why did the cheese get in trouble?
It was up to no gouda.
Why doesn’t anyone like to hang out with crackers?
Someone always cuts the cheese.
Saw a great offer on cheese in Tesco today!
It was buy one get one brie.
What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror ? Halloumi (Hello me)
What did one cheese tell the other cheese on Valentine’s day?
Brie mine.
Why did the parmesan swipe left on the cheddar?
His pick-up line was too cheesey.
What do you get when you cross a goblin and cheese? Muenster cheese.
What did the commedian say after after a bad set?
That crowd was laughtose intolerant.
What’s a good way to start a conversation with a cheese plate on Tinder?
“Hello. Is it brie you’re looking for?”
Did you hear what happened when the decorator painted his wife with cheese? He double Gloucester!
What do you call cheese that is acting crazy? A basket queso.
How did the cheese get such curly hair?
It got a permasan.
How do you know when a cheese is full of himself?
Whatever you say, he’ll say he is feta.
Which is the Richest Cheese in the world? Paris Stilton.
What do you call it when a cheese goes #2?
Fondue-due.
What does a real cheese freak say when they come to your door?
“I’d like to talk to you about Cheesus.”
Why did the cheese shop owner finally quit the business?
He was tired of the daily rind.
When shouldn't you believe a word your cheese is saying? When it's too Gouda to be true.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite track and field event?
The curdles.
What did the mom cheese tell the little boy cheese when he got hurt on his bike?
“Gotta take the gouda with the bad.”
Why doesn't cheddar like to party with crackers? Someone always cuts the cheese.
What do you tell a cheese going through a hard time?
Ricotta get through this.
What do you call a piece of cheese that likes to shoot hoops? Swiss!
What is a lions favourite cheese? Roar-quefort
What do you get when you cross a smurf and a cow?
Blue cheese.
What did the street cheese say after he got attacked by several blades? I've felt grater.
How did the cheese professor start class every day?
Oh queso…
Why do cheeses make bad musicians?
They’re always sharp.
What did the cheese say after escaping the mouse? I'm Brieeee!