Why did the train have bubble gum? Because he wanted to go Choo Choo
What do you call a train that sneezes? Achoo-choo train.
Why should you never trust a train? They have loco motives.
I used to be a railroad conductor, but my boss found out I wasn’t trained.
What kind of ears do trains have?
Engineers.
I've always wanted to become a podiatrist, but was made to train as a paediatrician first.
Baby steps.
I just quit my job as a train driver a few weeks ago.
I can't help but feel that my life has gone off the rails since.
What kind of a car does a crazy man drive? A LOCOmotive.
How do trains eat?
They chew chew.
Where do crabs and lobsters catch their trains?
King's Crustation.
Never going drinking with Train drivers again.
All they did all night was tell me to ‘chug,chug,chug,chug.’
How can you tell a train just went by? A. You can see it’s tracks!
I’ve been meaning to make a list of bad railroad puns…but I keep getting side tracked.
I’ve always liked one-liners. That’s why I’m a fan of monorails.
If you walk along a railroad track you may soon feel run down.
I’ve always liked one-liners. That’s why I’m a fan of monorails.
What did the Mama Steam Engine say to her Baby Steam Engine at supper time? “Choo choo!”
The school teacher tells you to spit out your gum, while the locomotive says “Choo Choo Choo!”
I asked a train engineer how many times his train had derailed. He said, “I’m not sure, it’s hard to keep track.”
First time hunters were arguing over which kind of animal tracks they had found when they were hit by a train.
Those who steal trains must have a loco–motive!
I was running to catch a train yesterday, but just as I was approaching it...
I realized my net wasn't big enough.
Never liked the troll who lives under the local railway bridge. He’s my arch enemy.
Why can’t the engineer be electrocuted? Because he’s not a conductor!
What do you call a locomotive with a cold? A choo choo train.
What do you give a train driver for Christmas? Platform shoes!
I know someone who tried to runway after camouflaging a railway. He tried to cover his tracks.
Did you hear about the man who sat next to his clone on the train?
He was beside himself.
What’s the difference between a teacher and a railway security guard? One trains the mind, the other minds the train.
I tried to tell my favourite joke about trains, but it got derailed.
A friend of mine quit his job as a reporter and left town by railway. It was an ex-press train.
Ticket inspectors. You’ve got to hand it to them…
What is as big as a steam locomotive, but weighs nothing? Its shadow.
How do you find a missing train? Follow the tracks
I was so embarrassed when my wife found me playing with my son’s train set that I threw a blanket over it.
I think I managed to cover my tracks.
Why did the Mexican train robber rob the train?
Because he had a loco-motive.
New electric trains will run on conductors.
Went to a railway fancy dress party. Everyone was wearing platforms.
Go to BabaMail
