I am on the train and a light just came on saying the toilet is engaged.
Congratulations, toilet!
What do you call a train that sneezes? Achoo-choo train.
I know someone who tried to run away after camouflaging a railway. He tried to cover his tracks.
A fired newspaper editor took an ex-press train out of town.
Got a couple of railway buffers going cheap. It was an end of line sale.
I've always wanted to become a podiatrist, but was made to train as a paediatrician first.
Baby steps.
How do you find a missing train? Follow the tracks
What is as big as a steam locomotive, but weighs nothing? Its shadow.
Why didn't the conductor know what to do when he found that his train was missing?
He wasn't trained for this.
How long does it take for electricity to travel the length of a 10 car train?
It all depends on the conductor.
I know an elephant who refused to travel by train because he didn’t want to leave his trunk in the baggage car.
Never going drinking with Train drivers again.
All they did all night was tell me to ‘chug,chug,chug,chug.’
A friend of mine quit his job as a reporter and left town by railway. It was an ex-press train.
Did you hear about the boy who had to do a project on trains? He had to keep track of everything!
I don’t want to drive you crazy, but I do have a loco-motive
A friend got to the final of the local model railway competition. He lost on points.
Got a couple of railway buffers going cheap. It was an end of line sale.
I tried to tell my favourite joke about trains, but it got derailed.
I asked a train engineer how many times his train had derailed. He said, “I’m not sure, it’s hard to keep track.”
The school teacher tells you to spit out your gum, while the locomotive says “Choo Choo Choo!”
I was running to catch a train yesterday, but just as I was approaching it...
I realized my net wasn't big enough.
Why do you have to wait so long for a train on Halloween? They only run a skeleton service.
I miss the old days of railway when the engineer had plenty of esteem.
Why did the train have bubble gum? Because he wanted to go Choo Choo
What do you give a train driver for Christmas? Platform shoes!
The US army secretly trains pigeons to help overthrow hostile foreign governments.
It’s a military coo.
What happened to the man that took the 5 o’clock train home? He had to give it back!
What kind of ears do trains have?
Engineers.
How do trains eat?
They chew chew.
Did you hear about the train that dressed up for Halloween?
It became a fright train.
A railroad engineer must be sure not to lose his train of thought or he might go down the wrong track.
Did you hear about the man who sat next to his clone on the train?
He was beside himself.
Ticket inspectors. You’ve got to hand it to them…
I’ve been meaning to make a list of bad railroad puns…but I keep getting side tracked.
Went to a railway fancy dress party. Everyone was wearing platforms.
I used to be a railroad conductor, but my boss found out I wasn’t trained.
Why did the monster eat the caboose? The locomotive told it to choo choo.
Go to BabaMail
