What did the laser weapon say to the atom bomb?
"OK boomer."
Did you hear about the boat that crashed into the beach?
The captain fell asleep and the crew didn't realize until they were already in the no wake zone.
How did they punish the longshoreman whose improper ship mooring caused the destruction of a pier?
They docked his pay.
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution.
Help!!! There's nobody steering this yacht!!
Don't worry. It's on yachtopilot.
What caliber is Chekhov's gun?
Catch-22.
Where does Google keep their ships?
In the Google Docs.
What did the knife say to the other knife? Knife to meet you!
What do you call an imaginary yacht?
A dream boat.
What gun does a military chef use?
A salt rifle.
A man arrived to a gun fight with nothing other than a pencil and paper.
He then proceeded to draw his weapon.
Did you hear that famous blonde haired actress has been stabbed? She's called Reese, Erm...
Witherspoon?
No, with a knife.
If Kim Jong-un had a private yacht, it would be a dictator ship
What do you call a seamstress that snuck aboard a ship?
A sew-away!
What do you call a boat in training?
An apprenticeship.
I wasn't wearing hearing protection when the atom bomb went off.
Now I am become deaf, destroyer of worlds.
Red ship hits Blue ship...
Sailors marooned.
Homeless man attacks kid with a knife
Don’t worry the kid was fine. He had a knife.
why was the ship called 3.14
because it was full of π-rates.
Where do boats go when they feel sick?
To the dock.
Before my surgery my anaesthetist offered to knock me out with gas or a boat paddle.
It was an ether/oar situation.
The knife that Abraham used to kill Isaac has been found in Britain.
Apparently, it was a Dyson.
What do sailors buy to customise the back of their ships?
Aft-ermarket parts!
My boat is starting to sink, I'm going to sell it.
See my boat listing in the paper.
I saw a headline in the newspaper that said someone made a bomb out of nitrous oxide.
This is no laughing matter.
"Do you know how long it takes for a bomb to explode?"
No, but dynamite!
My writer buddy went to buy a new boat...
He named it Penman-Ship.
The bartender asked the pirate, "Is that a ship's wheel sticking out of your pants?"
The pirate replied"Aye! It's driving me nuts!"
What do you do when you miss the ferry?
Call a canoe-ber.
A man struggled to cut up his dinner. His wife asked, “what’s wrong, hunny?” The man sighed, and said:
“This knife just isn’t gonna cut it.”
Watched a TV show about how they build ships.
It was riveting.
Why does the Norwegian navy have barcodes on the side of their ships?
So when they come back to port they can scandinavian.
Never criticize a gun owner until you've walked a mile in his shoes
That way he'll be barefoot and you'll be out of range.
What kind of melody does a ship makes when if it crashes on shore?
A wreck-quiem.
A sad bullet comes home to his family.
"Honey you look terrible!" Exclaims his wife. "What happened?"
"I got fired."
My friend was bragging that his new 3D printer can print a gun, but I’m not impressed.
I’ve had a Canon printer for years.
Octopus: [holding a gun in each hand]
Cat: You're one short buddy.
What did the pilot of the Enola Gay say before dropping the bomb ?
"Let me Atom."
I’m sure my wife has been putting glue on my weapons collection.
She denies it, but I’m sticking to my guns.
If you ever have to defuse a bomb, never cut...
The Blew wire.
What do you call a problematic person with a gun?
A troubleshooter.
Have you heard about the guy who made a bomb out of a brain?
It was pretty mindblowing.
If I ever get drafted into the Navy, and they make me choose what boat to get on.
I would just say frig it.
What is a popular videogame for young utensils?
Fork Knife.
I took my boat out to go fishing today. I looked over and saw my neighbor’s dock was parallel to mine.
I guess I found my self in a real “para-docks”
Why don't they make boats out of peppers?
Because they're always capsaicin!
What do you call a selfish bomb?
Mine.
I can row a boat.
Canoe?
I knew a guy in jail who would never knife a man in the back or when he was down
He was the very model of shivalry.
What do you call a snail on a boat?
A snailor.
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