I can row a boat.
Canoe?
What do you call a sheep with a machine gun?
Lambo.
Where do boats go when they feel sick?
To the dock.
I took my boat out to go fishing today. I looked over and saw my neighbor’s dock was parallel to mine.
I guess I found my self in a real “para-docks”
Did you hear about the boat that crashed into the beach?
The captain fell asleep and the crew didn't realize until they were already in the no wake zone.
Who has the best place on a sailing ship?
The mast, because it has the pole-position.
If Kim Jong-un had a private yacht, it would be a dictator ship
A sad bullet comes home to his family.
"Honey you look terrible!" Exclaims his wife. "What happened?"
"I got fired."
What did the pilot of the Enola Gay say before dropping the bomb ?
"Let me Atom."
I'm reading a book about a sadistic evil man who attaches ridges from boat hulls to his victims.
He's a mad keeler.
A man struggled to cut up his dinner. His wife asked, “what’s wrong, hunny?” The man sighed, and said:
“This knife just isn’t gonna cut it.”
Mike Tyson bought a yacht and immediately wrecked it.
Who woulda thunk it?
What is Tesla's favorite gun?
A musket
What's the difference between a knife and an argument with a man?
The knife has a point.
I knew a guy in jail who would never knife a man in the back or when he was down
He was the very model of shivalry.
What do you call a Monkey with a bomb
A baboom.
I was surprised when I saw a boat in the driveway so I asked my wife about it.
She said there was a great sail.
The bartender asked the pirate, "Is that a ship's wheel sticking out of your pants?"
The pirate replied"Aye! It's driving me nuts!"
You’re traveling the Oregon Trail and you meet a man named Terry. You say “Terry? That’s a girls name!” He pulls out his gun and shoots you.
You have died from dissin' Terry.
Octopus: [holding a gun in each hand]
Cat: You're one short buddy.
What do you call a boat full of high school graduates
A scholarship.
Guns don’t kill people...
Bullets, it’s bullets that kill people.
What do you call a boat full of polite football players?
A good sportsman ship.
Why don't they make boats out of peppers?
Because they're always capsaicin!
What kind of gun would a cat have?
A Mauser.
Where does Google keep their ships?
In the Google Docs.
A man arrived to a gun fight with nothing other than a pencil and paper.
He then proceeded to draw his weapon.
If I ever get drafted into the Navy, and they make me choose what boat to get on.
I would just say frig it.
Before my surgery my anaesthetist offered to knock me out with gas or a boat paddle.
It was an ether/oar situation.
What do you call a snail on a boat?
A snailor.
Why don't boats have funerals?
They have wakes.
My friend is trying to persuade me to invest in his knife making business.
He made some excellent points.
Why are snails allowed on ships?
Escargot.
Why did Immanuel Kant lend his machine gun to forces plotting a military coup?
Because he willed that his Maxim could make a general rule.
Why did the man bring a gun to the clock factory?
To kill some time.
I love driving my car, makes me feel like I'm charge of a big boat
especially when it's on cruise control
Why did all the passengers on the right side of the ship have dead cell phones?
They weren’t on the port side of the ship.
What did the knife say to the other knife? Knife to meet you!
Should a gun company rename themselves "Question"?
That's a loaded Question
What did the laser weapon say to the atom bomb?
"OK boomer."
What did the Bluetooth say as the ship went down?
"Help! We’re syncing!"
If you ever have to defuse a bomb, never cut...
The Blew wire.
I buy all my guns from a guy named T-Rex...
He's a small arms dealer.
What do you call a skeleton with a mask and a knife? A heartless killer.
I don’t believe in boats
I have yacht to see one.
The knife that Abraham used to kill Isaac has been found in Britain.
Apparently, it was a Dyson.
What type of knife do chefs use to connect to Bluetooth?
A pairing knife
What do you call a selfish bomb?
Mine.
What sound did the gun make when the priest shot through two benches to kill a mass shooter?
PEW PEW
My boat is starting to sink, I'm going to sell it.
See my boat listing in the paper.
Go to BabaMail
