What did pharaohs use to wipe?
Poo-pyrus.
How do you make a tissue paper dance?
You put a little boogie in it!
Why could the toilet paper not stop?
Because it was on a role.
What did the flirty napking say to the dinner guests?
"Let me sit on your lap"
Why do they put lotion in tissues?
To soften the blow.
My neighbour didn't like it when I told him off about hoarding toilet paper
To be honest, I think he was being very anal about it.
What do you call a disabled paper towel?
A napkan't.