I joined a support group for former computer hackers.
Anonymous Anonymous.
How does a pirate communicate? With his aye phone.
My kid asked why I named our WiFi "ship"?
But that's how everything syncs.
Recently I was at a store walking down the flash drives and hard drives section.
I have to say, it was quite a walk down the memory lane.
I want to tell you one more painful phone pun but I decided it's uncalled for.
I heard that starting next year, keyboards will no longer be sold with italics...
But it was a bold-faced lie.
If cheese were downloadable, then I'd try to throw my hard drive as far as possible.
What I'm saying is, I'd chuck e-cheese.
I came into the office early and switched as many M and N keys on keyboards as I could. Some might say I'm a monster...
But others will say nomster
While I was driving, I saw another person driving while talking on his cell phone.
I got so mad, I threw my beer at him.
An American guy visits a friend in Scotland.
When he arrives at his friend's house, he asks "Can I use your Wifi?"
The friend looks a bit perplexed, but then he smiles and says, "Sure ye can, she's up th' stairs."
Why was the computer coughing?
It had a virus.
Why did the spider get on the computer?
To check his website.
Hardcore programmers will agree that neither of them would use AC because they all prefer to open windows.
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
What is a phone's favorite TV show? Game of Phones.
What did the therapist say to the angry client when their cell phone battery died?
I suggest you find an outlet!
Why can't you use beef stew as a password?
Because it's not stroganoff.
I was conned into believing that my hotel room in Moscow had free Wifi.
I remember the ad saying: Internyet.
Why do cats like computers the best?
Cuz they have a mouse.
On a keyboard, nothing is under control.
Why did the computer squeak? Because someone stepped on its mouse!
Which keyboard shortcut doesn't work if you're incontinent?
Ctrl-P
I told my boss, "Sorry I'm late. I was having computer issues."
Boss: Hard drive?
Me: No, the commute was fine. It's my laptop.
Where do all the cool mice live? In their mousepads.
How big is a clown's hard drive?
50 GiggleBytes
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
"...a TOE TRUCK!!??"
What type of blood does a keyboard have?
Typo.
I can relate to my computer so much. Even I go to sleep after 25mins of inactivity.
What is it called when an IT person gets surgery on their fingers?
Tech knuckle support.
My dog ate my computer science homework.
It took him a couple of bytes.
Today I Learned I should NOT have my password be the name of my cat.
I then turned to my cat and said, "Well, wJ:cg/v&A;6BTt, I guess it's back to the drawing board."
Go to BabaMail
