I now pronounce you husband and wifi
You may kiss the bride goodbye.
I left my laptop outside on the picnic table, and when I came back, the keyboard was covered in ants...
...It took a while to herd them together but I finally got them all under control.
My computer crashed and I lost all the notes I'd saved for the book I'm working on called "1,001 cures for itches."
I guess I'll have to start again from scratch.
I came into the office early and switched as many M and N keys on keyboards as I could. Some might say I'm a monster...
But others will say nomster
Where do computers go to dance?
The disk-O.
Someone vandalized my keyboard leaving only 1 button.
Surprisingly, the police were more thorough in the investigation than I expected. They even asked to see my colon.
My dog ate my computer science homework.
It took him a couple of bytes.
Did you hear about the computer virus that was programmed by a cat?
It's considered meowware!
Why did the hard drive crash?
Because it had a bad driver.
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None because it's a hardware issue.
I asked the bartender for the WiFi password but he told me to buy a drink first. So I ordered a Moscow Mule and asked him again. He handed me a card with the password. It said:
"Buy a drink first" ... no spaces, all lowercase."
My kid asked why I named our WiFi "ship"?
But that's how everything syncs.
You might be able to use a smuggled cell phone in prison.
You just have to have cell coverage.
I love complimentary WiFi.
It makes me feel good about myself.
What do computers do on a beach vacation?
Surf the net.
What happened to the plane run by a computer?
It crashed.
This time last year I was working as a computer programmer, installing auto correct. But out of nowhere..
.. I was fried for no raisin.
What's the sketchiest button combo on a computer keyboard?
Shift + T
What did the eyewitness tell the cops after a computer robbed a bank?
It went data way!
If you used a keyboard with built-in speakers, you would be...?
Stereotyping.
Dear keyboard manufacturers, I'm writing to request a redesign so that g and t wouldn't be right next to each other. Retards
The computer wanted to get out of the house, so it used the Windows.
The oldest computer was an apple given to Adam and Eve back in paradise lost, but it came with very limited memory of just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.
Why does Mr. Potato need a cell phone? Incase Mr. Onion Rings.
Did you hear about the guy who got fired from the Keyboard Factory?
He didn't put enough shifts in.
How big is a clown's hard drive?
50 GiggleBytes
I named my phone "The Titanic" because it's always syncing.
My wife asked: "What's our WiFi?"
I said: It's an internet connection that works wirelessly through something called a modem. Why?"
She hasn't spoken to me all week.
I changed my password to "incorrect". So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say "Your password is incorrect".
What did the WiFi router say when it was unplugged?
"Tell my wifi love her
Why do computers make such bad boxers?
Their bark is worse than their byte.
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