I was conned into believing that my hotel room in Moscow had free Wifi.
I remember the ad saying: Internyet.
I did it! Dad said to save my money til my balance looks like a phone number.....
Available balance: $9.11.
What happens if you cross a night crawler with a telephone? You get Ringworm!
My computer is so slow it's running in the '90s.
Why don't skeletons have a mobile? They don't have any body to talk to.
Someone just called my phone, sneezed and then just hung up.
I am getting sick and tired of these cold calls.
Up until now, I always thought that all the cool mice would get together and live in my mousepad. Now when I know the truth, I feel quite broken.
Today I Learned I should NOT have my password be the name of my cat.
I then turned to my cat and said, "Well, wJ:cg/v&A;6BTt, I guess it's back to the drawing board."
My dad enjoys writing jokes and storing them on my phone. He calls it his Dad-a-base.
Why did the man get so sad his computer had a virus?
It was a terminal illness.
My computer was running pretty hot
Until I downloaded some fan art, and now it's working better.
Why is it so hard to contact a pirate? He leaves his phone off the hooks.
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
Changed my password to fortnight but apparently that's two week.
Are you WiFi?
Because I can feel the connection between us.
My sister's laptop is so sassy and fun, it loves to play disc-o music.
Where are dead computer hackers buried?
In decrypt.
My wife and I got married under a cell phone tower.
The ceremony wasn't great, but the reception was perfect.
Since getting sober, I decided to go with the cheapest cell phone provider I can find!
Way fewer bars!!!
What do cell phones order at dinner?
Apps.
I'm really obsessed with the F1 key on my keyboard. I'm trying to get help.
I hate it when planes don't have free WiFi.
It drives me bored air line crazy.
What did the girl say when she got a fake call? "I think that call was phoney".
I asked my son to go get me a phone book. He laughed, called me a dinosaur, and handed me his iPhone.
The spider is dead, the iPhone screen is cracked, and my son is furious!
Q. Why couldn't the dinosaur play games on the computer?
A. Because he ate the mous
Q. What's a computer geek's favourite snack?
A. Microchips.
I always love pressing F5 on my keyboard.
It's so refreshing.
You know you're texting too much when...
you try to text, but you're on a landline!
This time last year I was working as a computer programmer, installing auto correct. But out of nowhere..
.. I was fried for no raisin.
My keyboard is missing a key. I lost ctrl.
Asked the librarian rather loudly for the wifi password. He said "Sshhhhhh!" I asked "is that all lower case?"
Where do computers go to dance?
The disk-O.
My email password has been hacked again
That's the third time I've had to rename the cat.
How come the mummy doesn't want a telephone? Because he always gets too wrapped up on his calls.
Why are boy keyboards scared of girl keyboards?
They don't want to get qwerties.
He couldn't get over his dead wife, so he got a new computer
Now he can processor.
My computer wants to build a snowman.
It's frozen.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
Do you know the band 1023 megabytes?
They haven't had a gig yet.
How do you type the word "Royalty" on a keyboard?
You start with the higher R key.
What's the sketchiest button combo on a computer keyboard?
Shift + T
I wasn't making enough money as a keyboard percussionist so I started moonlighting as gun salesperson.
I go from glockenspiel to Glock and spiel.
I wanted to do some research on organs in biology, but I had no WiFi and couldn't find the information I wanted.
I wound up using cellular.
I deleted all my German friends from my cell phone contact list.
Now I'm Hanns free.
Keep Your Friends Close, Your Utility Keys Closer.
When my father complained to my mother for never picking or dropping me at school, she looked at him and said, "You are the master of drag and drop, my love". He's an IT specialist...
What made the computer so smart?
Because he listened to his motherboard!
My Wifi password is "writtenontherouter"
And I let all my guests walk to the router and let them unsuccessfully try to use the initial password until I tell them it's literally "writtenontherouter".
A few punny Wifi names you can use:
Wi-Fight the Inevitable
Chance the Router
The LAN Before Time
Silence of the LAN
I Believe Wi Can Fi
The Password is...
Click Here to Download
Get off my LAN
Router? I Hardly Knew Her
Definitely Not Wifi
Why did the person throw their computer cabinet in the air?
They wanted to store it in the cloud.
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