My kid was having trouble with the peanut butter because the jar was too deep and the knife was too short
I tried to help, but I couldn’t get to the bottom of it
What the Poland man did, after adding German mugs to his collection?
He polished them.
What do you call a decent cup of coffee?
Just an average joe.
So I heard this joke about glass
But it clearly shouldn’t have been made
What do you call someone who labels jars of body parts?
An organiser.
I didn't get this "World's Greatest Dad" mug for nothing.
It cost $14.99
My dad kept calling referring to this mason jar as his “boom box”.
When I asked him why, he responded “I use it for all my jams!”
I said to her, are going to eat that whole plate of spaghetti??
She said: no, it's in pasta bowl
What do you call a very sad cup of coffee?
A depresso.
My biggest problem with having three square meals a day is that all my plates are round.
Why did the police arrest a cup of snow?
For just-ice
I was at a party last night, waiting my turn to get to the punch bowl.
Everyone was being very polite, patient and not barging in. I thought to myself, "At last...
a decent punchline"
My father quietly retired from his job as an eye glass manufacturer yesterday.
He didn’t want to make a spectacle.
Is plate throwing a trully Olympic sport?
Discuss.
My wife has this weird OCD where she arranges the dinner plates by the year they were bought.
It is an extremely rare dish order.
What do you call a stolen jar?
A free mason.
Why did i murder the woman who served me a glass of wine?
Because i wanted tequila.
My wife just threw out our computer, shattering all the glass.
I guess she doesn’t like windows.
I met a man with a glass eye this morning...
He didn’t tell me, it just came out in the conversation
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer and the sizzlin' steak platter.
"Here's your steak," the bartender says. "Be careful, that plate is really hot."
"Oh, no worries," the guy replies. "I'm not really attracted to plates."
What happens when you drink beer from a cup?
You both get drunk.
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