So I heard this joke about glass
But it clearly shouldn’t have been made
My biggest problem with having three square meals a day is that all my plates are round.
I was served by a former police officer at my local Applebee’s, I asked for a cup of water and he gave me a cup of ice instead and said
“Just-ice has been served”
Local glass blower inhaled whilst working. He ended up with a pane in his stomach.
They’ve started a collection to open a pool near me. I gave them a glass of water.
What do you call a chicken looking at a bowl of lettuce?
Chicken sees a salad.
What did the glass say to the window?
"I'm in pane."
What do you call a stolen jar?
A free mason.
My son took his jar collection way too far
When I came home from work I thought the house was robbed because the door was ajar.
Did you hear about the man who drowned in a bowl of muesli?
He was dragged down by a currant..
I said to her, are going to eat that whole plate of spaghetti??
She said: no, it's in pasta bowl
The barman in the pub looked over at me said, "Your glass is empty. Fancy another one?" "
Why would I want two empty glasses?" I asked
Why did the police arrest a cup of snow?
For just-ice
I put my root beer in a square glass
Now I just have beer
What happens when you drink beer from a cup?
You both get drunk.
My wife was scratching the glass jar with a metal spoon...
It was jarring!!!
What side of the mug is the handle on?
The outside.
My kid was having trouble with the peanut butter because the jar was too deep and the knife was too short
I tried to help, but I couldn’t get to the bottom of it
What do you call a cap to a jar that doesn't fit?
An invalid.
My son told me he can drink a whole glass a whiskey straight.
Personally, I think it's neat.
Part of my alphabetised tea set recently got possessed by a demon.
I’m sure it’s saucer ‘E’.
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