Ariel spent the weekend alone because she was feeling a little crabby.
Did you hear about the Elf booted from the chorus?
He couldn't Fa-la-la-la-long.
What do elves use in the kitchen when they are cooking?
Kitchen u-tinsels!
What do you call a connection between two points in space-time through which only dragons can pass?
A wyrmhole.
Did you hear about the monk who was caught molesting kids? Yeah, bastard was telling the poor kids to touch his eunuch-horn.
What do you call a psychic gnome who escaped from prison?
A small, medium at large!
Did you hear about the elf who was a little hard of hearing?
She had to keep saying "Sleigh, what?"
What did the unicorn tell the bag of beans? U-no-corn.
What's the meanest thing ever?
When you ask a gnome, “What will you be when you grow up?”
We've all heard about elf on a shelf, but have you ever heard of troll on a poll?
What do you call the Tooth Fairy in a lamp?
A Hygenie.
"Whale, what do we have here?" said the mermaid.
Why do interns make the best Dungeons and Dragons players?
They do it for the Experience.
What do they call the fairy in the Mexican version of Peter Pan?
Taco Bell.
I'm investigating the tooth fairy, and it's going well...
I've managed to get a molar into her operation. I'm going to find out the tooth at the root of all this.
What do elves eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes!
Mermaids can be quite mean. Salmon had to say it.
Most unicorns start off as poor hunters until they can really horn their skills.
Unicorns deserve to be banned from facebook because all they do is poke people all day.
Mermaids always drink mermosas.
How do Santa’s elves go to different floors in the North Pole toy workshop? They use the elf-avator!
The ocean doesn't like to say hello, it just waves.
You mermaid to go far.
Why was the leprechaun fired from his cashier job?
'Cause he was always a little short.
After a long day at work, I feel like half a mythical creature...
Because I'm Dragon Ass.
What would you call an elf with lots of money?
W-elfy!
What do pixies use to clean their teeth?
Fairy floss.
Where do gnomes first go when they log on to the internet?
The gnome page of course!
"Don’t be elfish," said momma elf to her son. "Share with your sister."
Shell-abrate the good times!
Why did the dyslexic elf get fired?
He kept writing "From Satan" on children's New Year presents.
An overworked elf walks into a bar the day before Christmas and orders a beer. "Hey look, everyone! It's an elf!" the bartender exclaims. "I'm sorry, but that phrase is now insensitive and politically incorrect," the elf says. "We prefer to be called subordinate clauses."
What is the mermaid’s favorite drink?
A mertini.
What do you get if you cross a gnome and a tauren?
A mini-taur.
Which kind of jokes do gnomes like to tell?
Elf-deprecating puns.
What do you call a fairy that doesn’t like to shower?
Stinkerbell.
Why shouldn't you feed elves shellfish?
It makes them crabby!
What do gnome standup comedians call a tiny pun?
Puny.
What do you call the dandruff found on unicorn manes? Horn flakes.
My pen ran out of ink and an ink fairy in the shape of a squid appeared. He said if I let him eat my dinner of shrimp he'd help me out by giving me some ink. The deal smelled kind of fishy, but I needed to finish my homework.
So we did it squid pro quo.
Where do criminal unicorns sentenced to death go? They go on corn row.
What sound does a gnome make when he's eating dinner?
Gnome-gnome-gnom-gnom-gnom-nom-nom!
Shes a fairy realistic person.
What did the fairy say to the other fairy?
It’s fairy nice to meet you!
I have a bone to pixie with you.
Why does the little mermaid wear sea shells?
Cause B-shells are too small, and D- shells are too big.
Whose music do elves like the most?
Elf-is Presley.
Fishing you a happy day.
You are shrimply the best!
What did the elf tell its friends when they were traveling?
"Let’s take an elfie."