Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Gnome! I can’t reach the doorbell!
What happens to elves who misbehave?
They get the sack.
Why does the fairy kingdom smell so awful?
Because of all the toad stools.
Why do interns make the best Dungeons and Dragons players?
They do it for the Experience.
What do elves learn when they go to school?
The elf-abet.
What do gnome allergy sufferers call a reaction caused by daisy-like flowers?
An aster-risk.
Did you hear the one about the genius unicorn who aced every subject? Yeah, he was a real A corn.
A gnome walks into a bar, and the bartender starts a tab for him. The gnome keeps pounding them away, one after the other. After a few hours, the gnome decides to call it a night. The bartender hands him his tab when the gnome realizes he left his wallet at home. He turns to the bartender and says, "Sorry, I'm a little short."
How do elves stay so skinny?
Elfy eating!
Uni-corn? I though that’s what you call a single grain or maize.
Which kind of jokes do gnomes like to tell?
Elf-deprecating puns.
What do you call a sarcastic mermaid?
A sigh-ren.
If man’s bet friend is a dog, would a unicorns best friend be a corn dog?
What kind of elf lives in a soda can?
A Sprite!
A fairy appears in front of an old man.
"For the good things you've done in your life, I grant you three wishes!"
The old man squints and asks: "Can you speak up a bit? My hearing isn't the best anymore..."
The fairy replies: "SURE! YOU HAVE TWO WISHES!"
I love you so fairy much.
What do you call a fairy that doesn’t like to shower?
Stinkerbell.
Where did Santa's little helpers go to high school?
They didn't, they were gnome-schooled.
Did you hear about the Irishman killed with a garden gnome?
It was a knick-knack paddywhack.
The ocean doesn't like to say hello, it just waves.
Did you hear about the gnome cop?
He works in lawn enforcement.
Why did the elf use a duck to wake him on Christmas morning?
So he could be up at the quack of dawn!
What sound does a gnome make when he's eating dinner?
Gnome-gnome-gnom-gnom-gnom-nom-nom!
Seas the day!
"Whale, what do we have here?" said the mermaid.
Why do dwarves hunt dragons in the morning?
Because the early beard gets the wyrm.
Where did the mermaid go on a date?
She was catching a movie at the dive-in.
They aren’t gnome for their humor.
Just hangin' with my gnomies.
What do you call fifty-five gnomes in the mouth of a kraken?
A good start.
Why are dragons such good story tellers?
Because they have long tails.
Go big or go gnome.
Why are unicorns considered to be among the most impatient mammals? They’re quick to get to the point.
What do elves eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Gnome.
Gnome who?
Gnome sweet gnome.
We were mermaid for each other.
Unicorns deserve to be banned from facebook because all they do is poke people all day.
You mermaid to go far.
Fairies just wand to have fun.
I expected a call last night, so I slept with my phone under my pillow.
When I woke up it was gone, and there was a dollar coin in its place?!
Must have been the Bluetooth Fairy...
Whose music do elves like the most?
Elf-is Presley.
Gnome Chat Up Line: Hey girl, is your name Juliet? ‘Cause my name is Gnomeo.
Two Dragons walk into a bar.
1st dragon: It's hot in here
2nd dragon: Shut your mouth.
Have you ever seen a baby dragon eating ice cream?
It'll melt your heart.
A komodo dragon works security cameras at a store for other komodo dragons. Mostly, he makes sure no other dragon is spying on the customers.
He's a monitor monitor monitoring a monitor for monitoring monitors.
Would you call a guy who’s eating corn while riding a unicycle a unicorn on the cob?
What did the witness say at the gnome trial? In my gnome words here’s what happened.
What happens if an elf catches you being naughty?
Yule be sorry!
Do you know what Tinkerbell's tooshie is called?
A fairy tale.
What goes inside elves’ pointy shoes?
Their mistletoes.
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