Why cant a dwarf be depressed?
Because they are compressed.
Which kind of jokes do gnomes like to tell?
Elf-deprecating puns.
I hate how all my fairy photographs have really bad quality.
They’re all so pixielated.
What do you call the dandruff found on unicorn manes? Horn flakes.
Even as unicorn parents, you always want to control the internet unless you want your foals checking
out uniporn all day.
What did the mama elf say to her mischievous child?
“Stop elvesdropping on Santa!”
Why did Santa stop smoking a pipe?
It was bad for his elf!
Do you know what Tinkerbell's tooshie is called?
A fairy tale.
A komodo dragon works security cameras at a store for other komodo dragons. Mostly, he makes sure no other dragon is spying on the customers.
He's a monitor monitor monitoring a monitor for monitoring monitors.
What kind of motorbike do elves ride to work?
A Holly Davidson!
What do you call an elf who won’t share?
Elfish.
What is a fairy’s favorite drink?
Sprite.
What do you call a philosophical fairy?
Thinker-bell.
Wish upon a starfish.
What do you call a gnome priest?
A compact disc.
What is the mermaid’s favorite drink?
A mertini.
Did you hear about the elf who was a little hard of hearing?
She had to keep saying "Sleigh, what?"
Why was the gnome just standing over his lawnmower and crying?
Because he hit a rough patch.
What did the elf tell its friends when they were traveling?
"Let’s take an elfie."
A gnome walks into a bar, and the bartender starts a tab for him. The gnome keeps pounding them away, one after the other. After a few hours, the gnome decides to call it a night. The bartender hands him his tab when the gnome realizes he left his wallet at home. He turns to the bartender and says, "Sorry, I'm a little short."
Did you hear a gnome's favorite sport is baseball?
They love to score gnome runs.
Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Gnome! I can’t reach the doorbell!
Most unicorns start off as poor hunters until they can really horn their skills.
Call me on the shellphone.
What's the difference between a person that just won the lottery and a fairy in salt water?
One is tickled pink, the other is a pickled Tink.
Why do dwarves hunt dragons in the morning?
Because the early beard gets the wyrm.
Gnomes can be quite annoying when they’re indecisive. All they say is yes, gnome, maybe.
What did the unicorn tell the bag of beans? U-no-corn.
Did you hear about the troupe of gnome dancers that robbed half the city blind?
They had a good run, but the jig is up.
What's a dragon's favorite snack?
Fire Crackers!
What do you call a sarcastic mermaid?
A sigh-ren.
Unicorns deserve to be banned from facebook because all they do is poke people all day.
Did you hear about the Irishman killed with a garden gnome?
It was a knick-knack paddywhack.
Let’s kick off shall we? I just hope that my unicorn puns won’t be too corny for you.
If an adult is called a unicorn, are its young one’s called puny-corns?
Just hangin' with my gnomies.
Why did some of the elves spell Christmas as N-O-E? Because Santa said No L!
What did the fish say to the mermaid?
- Have a fintastic day!
If man’s bet friend is a dog, would a unicorns best friend be a corn dog?
What's the meanest thing ever?
When you ask a gnome, “What will you be when you grow up?”
Did you hear about the forgetful unicorn mom? She kept feeding her kids milk of amnesia.
Did you hear about the gnome cop?
He works in lawn enforcement.
Did you hear about the elf that quit Santa's workshop?
He was a rebel without a Claus.
No one could tame the unicorn. He was horn to be wild.
What do gnome mothers often say to their naughty children? Wait till your father gets gnome.
What do you call an elf who hasn’t had a date in two years or more?
Elf on the shelf.
What kind of money do elves always use?
Jingle bills!
I have a bone to pixie with you.
"Whale, what do we have here?" said the mermaid.
Knock knock
Who's there?
Elf
Elf who?
Elf me wrap this present!
Why did the confused gnome decide to see a shrink?
Because he had low elf-esteem.
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