What do elves learn when they go to school?
The elf-abet.
What do you call a gnome priest?
A compact disc.
Why did the confused gnome decide to see a shrink?
Because he had low elf-esteem.
Fairies just wand to have fun.
What kind of music do elves listen to?
Wrap music.
I'm investigating the tooth fairy, and it's going well...
I've managed to get a molar into her operation. I'm going to find out the tooth at the root of all this.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Gnome.
Gnome who?
Gnome sweet gnome.
Did you hear about the troupe of gnome dancers that robbed half the city blind?
They had a good run, but the jig is up.
I think you're mer-mazing.
When the elves are clapping for their boss, we call it Santapplause.
Why do Santa’s helpers go to therapy?
To help their elf esteem.
What's worse than a dragon speaking to you?
The money that you have to pay for therapy.
What do you call Dragon with no silver?
A dron.
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You think dinosaurs are scary?
Imagine dragons!
What do you call the Tooth Fairy in a lamp?
A Hygenie.
What did the elf tell its friends when they were traveling?
"Let’s take an elfie."
What do elves eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes!
A komodo dragon works security cameras at a store for other komodo dragons. Mostly, he makes sure no other dragon is spying on the customers.
He's a monitor monitor monitoring a monitor for monitoring monitors.
What do you call a Mexican unicorn? Junicorn.
What is the little mermaid’s favorite font?
Arial.
What language do they teach at Elf School?
North Polish!
Where do elves go to get famous?
Holly-wood.
We were mermaid for each other.
What do elves use in the kitchen when they are cooking?
Kitchen u-tinsels!
it was my pet dragon's birthday today
We lit the candles on his cake. He was really upset when he tried to blow them out.
What do gnomes use to guard their mazes?
Minitaurs.
For years I told my daughter she was half-human and half-mermaid... but that her bottom half was human, and her top half was mermaid.
You'd think seeing a mermaid in real life would be terrifying, but it wasn't half as bad.
I hate how all my fairy photographs have really bad quality.
They’re all so pixielated.
If man’s bet friend is a dog, would a unicorns best friend be a corn dog?
What’s the self-care mantra of elves after the holiday season ends?
“Treat yo’elf.”
Why do interns make the best Dungeons and Dragons players?
They do it for the Experience.
What did the fish say to the mermaid?
- Have a fintastic day!
How do Santa’s elves go to different floors in the North Pole toy workshop? They use the elf-avator!
How do elves stay so skinny?
Elfy eating!
Whale, whale, whale, what do we have here?
Did you hear the one about the Troll who tried to pay for dinner with a gnome? He came up short on the bill.
What happens to elves who misbehave?
They get the sack.
Why are gnomes friends with dolls?
They like to share clothes.
Why are gnomes so pragmatic?
They don’t have tall tales.
You mermake me happy.
What is the mermaid’s favorite drink?
A mertini.
Did you hear about the gnome rogue?
Of course not, that g is silent!
I don’t always like to tell dwarf jokes. But when I do, I like to keep them short.
Just because your football team calls itself the unicorns doesn’t mean they can play in the corn field.
What type of elf has the most books?
A bookshelf.
Fairies just spell trouble.
What is a European dragon’s favorite food?
Swiss charred.
Why did the pre-pubescent dragon lose the rap battle?
He couldn't spit hot fire yet.
Why are unicorns considered to be among the most impatient mammals? They’re quick to get to the point.
Uni-corn? I though that’s what you call a single grain or maize.