Did you hear about the football player with the dirty mouth?
Yeah. He was an offensive lineman.
What is red and not good for your teeth?
A brick.
"What's with that fruit taped to your mouth?" the doctor asked. "Covid-19 prevention," the patient replied.
"You need a bandana, not a banana!"
My friend keeps joking about the thing he has to wear to cover his mouth while he's exercising outside.
It's a running gag.
What did the skeleton say to the French soldier? Bone Jaw
I accidentally sprayed deodorant in my mouth.
Now when I talk I have a weird axe scent.
Why do seals carry fish in their mouth?
Because they don't have pockets.
My little sister came to my room with a lighbulb in her mouth. I asked her "what in the world are you doing?"
She said "I'm having a light snack."
Some people think it's okay to wear your mask over your mouth while not covering your nose.
They're mouthbreathers.
Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get soap in your mouth.
Then it becomes a soap opera.
I inshtalled my shelf wrong and it fell on top of me, breaking my jaw. Now I shound weird.
I guesh I only have myshelf to blame.
How do you beat a robot in a fist fight
Socket in the jaw.
I had a jaw-dropping experience.
Sadly, it was radium poisoning.
I saw a friend of mine named Ella sit down to eat a fillet of salmon. As she lifted the fork to her mouth I screamed NO DON’T EAT THAT!
When she asked why I responded “you’ll get salmon-Ella!”
My son elbowed me in the mouth during a tickle fight
But that's ok. It was acci-dental.
what does Stalin use to wipe his mouth?
A Soviette.
What do emo birds call their mouths?
Bleaks.
I got punched in the mouth by a drug addict today.
Now my jaw’s all methed up.
Did you hear about the guy who got a metal jaw replacement?
I think he just did it for a tin chin.
We all have that one vegan friend.... I said to mine,"Do you have to mention vegetables every time you open your mouth?"
She said, "Not neccecelery."
How did the hipster burn his mouth?
He ate his food before it was cool.
If Colgate kills 99.9% of bacterias in mouth, what does Colgate sensitive do?
It kills 99.9% without hurting their feelings.
I accidentally injured my girlfriend with a mouth organ.
I really didn't mean to harm Monica.
What does a drunkard's mouth and a shirt have in common?
They are both 100% cotton.
What do you call an Amish Man whose hand is in a horse’s mouth?
A mechanic.
How do medieval cathedrals clean their mouths before bedtime?
They gargoyle.
What makes your mouth sad?
A tongue depressor.
Rich people are born with a silver spoon in their mouth.
But polite french people are born with a s'il vous plaît.
What is your mouth’s favorite exercise?
Burpees.
What do you call a flower with a mouth?
Tulip.
There's a South American country where they have a rare pepper. Instead of being hot when you eat it, it makes your mouth feel cold.
It's called the Chilly Chile Chili.
To all the people that don't cover their mouths then they cough.
You make me sick.
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