I got punched in the mouth by a drug addict today.
Now my jaw’s all methed up.
"What's with that fruit taped to your mouth?" the doctor asked. "Covid-19 prevention," the patient replied.
"You need a bandana, not a banana!"
To all the people that don't cover their mouths then they cough.
You make me sick.
What does a drunkard's mouth and a shirt have in common?
They are both 100% cotton.
If Colgate kills 99.9% of bacterias in mouth, what does Colgate sensitive do?
It kills 99.9% without hurting their feelings.
What do emo birds call their mouths?
Bleaks.
What do you call an Amish Man whose hand is in a horse’s mouth?
A mechanic.
Rich people are born with a silver spoon in their mouth.
But polite french people are born with a s'il vous plaît.
what does Stalin use to wipe his mouth?
A Soviette.
What is your mouth’s favorite exercise?
Burpees.
How do you beat a robot in a fist fight
Socket in the jaw.
What is red and not good for your teeth?
A brick.
Did you hear about the guy who got a metal jaw replacement?
I think he just did it for a tin chin.
I had a jaw-dropping experience.
Sadly, it was radium poisoning.
I inshtalled my shelf wrong and it fell on top of me, breaking my jaw. Now I shound weird.
I guesh I only have myshelf to blame.
What did the skeleton say to the French soldier? Bone Jaw
Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get soap in your mouth.
Then it becomes a soap opera.
Did you hear about the football player with the dirty mouth?
Yeah. He was an offensive lineman.
I accidentally injured my girlfriend with a mouth organ.
I really didn't mean to harm Monica.
My little sister came to my room with a lighbulb in her mouth. I asked her "what in the world are you doing?"
She said "I'm having a light snack."
I saw a friend of mine named Ella sit down to eat a fillet of salmon. As she lifted the fork to her mouth I screamed NO DON’T EAT THAT!
When she asked why I responded “you’ll get salmon-Ella!”
My friend keeps joking about the thing he has to wear to cover his mouth while he's exercising outside.
It's a running gag.
My son elbowed me in the mouth during a tickle fight
But that's ok. It was acci-dental.
What makes your mouth sad?
A tongue depressor.
Why do seals carry fish in their mouth?
Because they don't have pockets.
There's a South American country where they have a rare pepper. Instead of being hot when you eat it, it makes your mouth feel cold.
It's called the Chilly Chile Chili.
What do you call a flower with a mouth?
Tulip.
How do medieval cathedrals clean their mouths before bedtime?
They gargoyle.
How did the hipster burn his mouth?
He ate his food before it was cool.
Some people think it's okay to wear your mask over your mouth while not covering your nose.
They're mouthbreathers.
We all have that one vegan friend.... I said to mine,"Do you have to mention vegetables every time you open your mouth?"
She said, "Not neccecelery."
I accidentally sprayed deodorant in my mouth.
Now when I talk I have a weird axe scent.
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