What do German meat lovers breathe?
Hamburg-air
How do you get a teddy bear across the border?
You snuggle it across.
Do you ever wake up, kiss the person beside you and feel glad you are alive?
I just did and apparently I will not be allowed on this airline again!
Why did Paco's girlfriend not want to kiss him?
She was afraid of the a-Paco-lips.
Why is it always easy for vampires to find their better halves?
Because it’s always love at first bite.
Why do accountants make good lovers?
They're great with figures.
We bee-long together.
Your love will always be up to par.
You know, I didn't kiss my wife until I was married...
because she wasn't my wife until we were married.
I used to love puns about throwing things, but now I don’t.
It was just a fling.
Why is it so hard for people with asthma to have exciting dates?
The last thing you want is someone to take your breath away!
My counselor gave me a hug today
I guess I got shrinkwrapped
How do you kiss someone at the end of the world?
On the apoca-lips.
Never has there been a more romantic story than how those two geologists met.
It was lava at first sight.
I took a road trip with my girlfriend who finally confessed she needs to stop and hug every now and again to reduce anxiety.
It was touch and go from there on.
I have bean thinking about you.
You’re my #1 pick.
I get a real kick out of you.
You are the coffee to my espresso and I love you a latte.
How did the telephone propose to his girl?
Duh, ain’t it obvious? He gave her a ring!
What did the lipstick say after he let down his friend?
I’ll make it up to you.
What do you get when you kiss a diseased bird?
Cherpies, but don't worry.
It's tweetable.
I loaf you a lot.
Let’s go to bread.
Some bunny loves you.
When you’re smooching with your honey, and your nose is kinda runny, you may think it’s kinda funny, but it snot.
I started dating her when she backed her car into mine at the mall.
I guess you could say we totally met by accident.
Do you have a date for Valentine’s Day?
Yes, it is February 14th
Or maybe it’s baseball players because they’re so great at hitting it off.
I’m o-fish-ally in love with you.
Whenever two vegetarians fall in love, you know that’s going to be a great pear. Now lettuce celebrate, because we all love vegetables.
Which sea creature gives the best hugs?
A cuttlefish
There might be other fish in the sea, but you’re my sole mate
Its ok to kiss a nun....
But don't get into the habit.
What did one leaf say to the other leaf?
I’ve fallen for you.
How long have I loved you? I’ve lost track.
You're one in a melon.
My wife and were on the sofa and I lean in for a cuddle.
She says: "careful I'm holding a tea!"
And I say: "and I'm holding you, so I guess we're both holding letters of the alphabet"
If you were a triangle, you’d be acute one.
I feel thankful for having you as my gym buddy and lover.
Our relationship is really working out.
Last winter was so cold, I couldn’t stop telling my wife how much I glove her.
What did the patient with the broken leg say to their doctor?
Hey doc, I have a crutch on you.
What did the grilled cheese say to the frying pan?
You make me melt.
I always find artists romantic because when they love you, they do it with all their art.
I scored when I met you.
"I think you should embrace the change, son"
Said my father as he handed me a handful of coins.
I pitcher us together forever.
You make miso happy.
I like you sow much.
You are like my asthma.
You just take my breath away.
Did you hear Harry’s girlfriend left him for Keith?
Yeah, she was always telling the poor guy to Harry up, turns out she found someone who could Keith better.
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