Their romance started by candlelight.
But it only lasted a wick.
You are like my dentures.
I cannot smile without you.
From one vegan to another – I think you’re fern-tastic, and I’ll never leaf you baby.
Your love is like vodka.
You were worth the chase.
When girls say they want a guy who can sweep them off their feet...
they do know that there’s a janitor ready for the job, right?
If you get married out on sea or in a boat...
is that a row-mance?
Do you ever wake up, kiss the person beside you and feel glad you are alive?
I just did and apparently I will not be allowed on this airline again!
If you really want to get a date at a restaurant, it’s always nice to cut to the cheese.
What did one slice of bread say to the other at their wedding?
Let’s grow mold together.
What is a dairy product like as a partner?
They’re your butter half.
You're my purr-son.
What did the lipstick say after he let down his friend?
I’ll make it up to you.
What’s it like to kiss a vampire?
A real pain in the neck!
I cannoli be happy
"You bake me crazy."
You know, I didn't kiss my wife until I was married...
because she wasn't my wife until we were married.
You’re right up my alley.
What shape is a kiss?
A-lip-tickle.
I always have a ball with you.
Or maybe it’s baseball players because they’re so great at hitting it off.
Being uncomfortable with any physical contact, I decided to rent the book “How to Hug” from the library.
Turns out it was Volume 6 of an old encyclopedia.
There might be other fish in the sea, but you’re my sole mate
My counselor gave me a hug today
I guess I got shrinkwrapped
Why were the melon lovers sad?
Because they cantaloupe.
I have bean thinking about you.
What do you get when you kiss a diseased bird?
Cherpies, but don't worry.
It's tweetable.
What did the salad lover say to his girlfriend?
You will Romaine in my heart forever ?
Do you have a date for Valentine’s Day?
Yes, it is February 14th
What did the bowl of soup write on their Valentine?
I love you pho real.
Last winter was so cold, I couldn’t stop telling my wife how much I glove her.
Why did Larry the lizard leave his lover longing?
he had ... a reptile dysfunction
We are mint to be.
I scored when I met you.
What did the koala say to his girlfriend?
I love you-calpytus.
What did the patient with the broken leg say to their doctor?
Hey doc, I have a crutch on you.
What's the deal with people who refuse to embrace technology?
Answers on a postcard please.
What’s green and mean and stabs you when you hug it?
Cactus
"I lava you."
How did the telephone propose to his girl?
Duh, ain’t it obvious? He gave her a ring!
"I think you should embrace the change, son"
Said my father as he handed me a handful of coins.
Now I know why people love footballers – especially the goalies, they are real keepers.
I loaf you a lot.
Let’s go to bread.
"I'm nuts about you."
I love you from my head tomatoes.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive.
Olive, who?
Olive you, and I don’t care who knows it!
I love you with all my butt.
I would say my heart, but it is just not as big. (wink wink where my curvy booties at?!)
What did the astronaut’s fiancé say when he proposed to her in open outer space? She said, “I can’t breathe!”
You must be copper and terillium because you are Cu-Te
When a gardener asks you how much you love them, you could try the effective – I love you from my head to-ma-toes.
You will always have
a pizza of my heart.
What do German meat lovers breathe?
Hamburg-air
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