Sloths never kiss on the first date, they take it slow.
I’m no geometric genius, but all love triangles soon turn into wreck-tangles.
While cuddling my girlfriend, I whispered "Honey, this isn't working out for me."
Then I rolled off the bed and started doing push-ups. "This is working out for me!"
I scored when I met you.
"I think you should embrace the change, son"
Said my father as he handed me a handful of coins.
We make a great pear
I have bean
thinking about you.
"I wood never leaf you."
If you really want to get a date at a restaurant, it’s always nice to cut to the cheese.
"You bake me crazy."
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive.
Olive, who?
Olive you, and I don’t care who knows it!
I love you with all my butt.
I would say my heart, but it is just not as big. (wink wink where my curvy booties at?!)
I love you berry much.
Being in love is a lot like central heating in your home.
You turn it on just before your guests come over and pretend that your house is always like this.
Last winter was so cold, I couldn’t stop telling my wife how much I glove her.
What did the grilled cheese say to the frying pan?
You make me melt.
I love all my computer brands and sometimes give ’em smooches.
But I never kiss Intel.
How long have I loved you? I’ve lost track.
Are you a beaver? ‘Cause dam.
I love you and I ain’t lion.
What sound do hedgehogs make when they kiss?
Ouch
What is a cat lover's favourite tree?
A juni-purr.
"I lava you."
Did you hear Harry’s girlfriend left him for Keith?
Yeah, she was always telling the poor guy to Harry up, turns out she found someone who could Keith better.
I’m o-fish-ally in love with you.
I get a real kick out of you.
What is it called when two spies hug?
A bond-ing moment.
I always find artists romantic because when they love you, they do it with all their art.
Owl always love you.
Why do accountants make good lovers?
They're great with figures.
I whale-y like you.
How do you get a teddy bear across the border?
You snuggle it across.
You met all of my koala-fications
I’m soy
into you.
Why are volcanos so nice?
They lava you.
What did the bowl of soup write on their Valentine?
I love you pho real.
What did one sushi roll say to the other sushi roll?
I’m soy into you.
I pitcher us together forever.
If you get married out on sea or in a boat...
is that a row-mance?
My little girl just asked for a goodnight kiss on her nose....
I said I can't kiss that thing it smells!
What do you call someone that's hungry for some cuddles?
Hugry.
There might be other fish in the sea, but you’re my sole mate
You are just like my car because you drive me crazy.
What did one leaf say to the other leaf?
I’ve fallen for you.
Why is it so hard for people with asthma to have exciting dates?
The last thing you want is someone to take your breath away!
What shape is a kiss?
A-lip-tickle.
You are in my heart, my mind, and in my entire body.
In fact, my doctor says that you must be a parasite!
Pugs and kisses.
I feel thankful for having you as my gym buddy and lover.
Our relationship is really working out.
You make miso happy.
I told my wife to embrace her mistakes
So she gave me a hug!!!
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