What did the salad lover say to his girlfriend?
You will Romaine in my heart forever ?
I love you berry much.
What do you say when you find the perfect font?
You’re just my type!
My gay lover asked me if date night was optional.
I said no, it's a mandate
How do flowers kiss?
With their tulips
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you! and I want the whole world to know it.
You're my purr-son.
"Aloe you vera much."
"I'm nuts about you."
"I lava you."
I started dating her when she backed her car into mine at the mall.
I guess you could say we totally met by accident.
You are the coffee to my espresso and I love you a latte.
Let’s spend some koala-ty time together.
What did the patient with the broken leg say to their doctor?
Hey doc, I have a crutch on you.
You are like my dentures.
I cannot smile without you.
Your love will always be up to par.
Why do accountants make good lovers?
They're great with figures.
Never laugh at your spouse’s choice… You’re one of them.
Do you ever wake up, kiss the person beside you and feel glad you are alive?
I just did and apparently I will not be allowed on this airline again!
Are you a beaver? ‘Cause dam.
When you’re smooching with your honey, and your nose is kinda runny, you may think it’s kinda funny, but it snot.
I took a road trip with my girlfriend who finally confessed she needs to stop and hug every now and again to reduce anxiety.
It was touch and go from there on.
You are just like my car because you drive me crazy.
Their romance started by candlelight.
But it only lasted a wick.
I told my wife to embrace her mistakes
So she gave me a hug!!!
What’s green and mean and stabs you when you hug it?
Cactus
I pitcher us together forever.
"Yoda one for me."
Why did Larry the lizard leave his lover longing?
he had ... a reptile dysfunction
Why shouldn't you kiss anyone on January 1st?
Because it's only the first date
Let’s commit the perfect crime together.
I’ll steal your heart and you can steal mine.
Sorry if this is extra cheesy, but you have a pizza my heart.
Which sea creature gives the best hugs?
A cuttlefish
I don’t know about you, but I think helicopter rescue pilots have the best pick-up lines.
What did the astronaut’s fiancé say when he proposed to her in open outer space? She said, “I can’t breathe!”
Why do painters always fall for their models?
Because they love them with all of their art.
There might be other fish in the sea, but you’re my sole mate
You are like my asthma.
You just take my breath away.
I’m soy
into you.
Sloths never kiss on the first date, they take it slow.
Did you hear Harry’s girlfriend left him for Keith?
Yeah, she was always telling the poor guy to Harry up, turns out she found someone who could Keith better.
I get a real kick out of you.
Why are volcanos so nice?
They lava you.
"You bake me crazy."
You know, I didn't kiss my wife until I was married...
because she wasn't my wife until we were married.
How long have I loved you? I’ve lost track.
Why is it so hard for people with asthma to have exciting dates?
The last thing you want is someone to take your breath away!
"I think you should embrace the change, son"
Said my father as he handed me a handful of coins.
My son fell asleep last night with the TV clicker in his hand.
He’s really embraced remote learning.
My counselor gave me a hug today
I guess I got shrinkwrapped
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