Why is it always easy for vampires to find their better halves?
Because it’s always love at first bite.
What do you call someone that's hungry for some cuddles?
Hugry.
Do you ever wake up, kiss the person beside you and feel glad you are alive?
I just did and apparently I will not be allowed on this airline again!
You will always have
a pizza of my heart.
"I wood never leaf you."
Wow, wouldn’t mind if you became my significant otter.
How long have I loved you? I’ve lost track.
What is it called when two spies hug?
A bond-ing moment.
While cuddling my girlfriend, I whispered "Honey, this isn't working out for me."
Then I rolled off the bed and started doing push-ups. "This is working out for me!"
What’s green and mean and stabs you when you hug it?
Cactus
I love you and I ain’t lion.
I have bean
thinking about you.
You are like my dentures.
I cannot smile without you.
Being uncomfortable with any physical contact, I decided to rent the book “How to Hug” from the library.
Turns out it was Volume 6 of an old encyclopedia.
How do flowers kiss?
With their tulips
Its ok to kiss a nun....
But don't get into the habit.
I love all my computer brands and sometimes give ’em smooches.
But I never kiss Intel.
I don’t know about you, but I think helicopter rescue pilots have the best pick-up lines.
I whale always love you.
I’m o-fish-ally in love with you.
You know, I didn't kiss my wife until I was married...
because she wasn't my wife until we were married.
Now I know why people love footballers – especially the goalies, they are real keepers.
I like to crouch down, hug my knees and lean forward.
That's just how I roll
What sound do hedgehogs make when they kiss?
Ouch
What did the astronaut’s fiancé say when he proposed to her in open outer space? She said, “I can’t breathe!”
I always have a souper time with you.
I love you deerly.
Whenever two vegetarians fall in love, you know that’s going to be a great pear. Now lettuce celebrate, because we all love vegetables.
Why did Larry the lizard leave his lover longing?
he had ... a reptile dysfunction
Pugs and kisses.
A toast to you:
You always know how to make everything butter.
I have bean thinking about you.
What did the bowl of soup write on their Valentine?
I love you pho real.
There might be other fish in the sea, but you’re my sole mate
What did one slice of bread say to the other at their wedding?
Let’s grow mold together.
What is a cat lover's favourite tree?
A juni-purr.
When a gardener asks you how much you love them, you could try the effective – I love you from my head to-ma-toes.
What’s it like to kiss a vampire?
A real pain in the neck!
You make miso happy.
I told my wife to embrace her mistakes
So she gave me a hug!!!
You're one in a melon.
Why should you never break up with a goalie?
Because he is a keeper!
What did the fruit lover say after he met a girl?
I’ve got a date
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One thing you never want to do is divorce a butcher.
That would be a huge missed steak.
My wife and were on the sofa and I lean in for a cuddle.
She says: "careful I'm holding a tea!"
And I say: "and I'm holding you, so I guess we're both holding letters of the alphabet"
My little girl just asked for a goodnight kiss on her nose....
I said I can't kiss that thing it smells!
You are just like my car because you drive me crazy.
I took a road trip with my girlfriend who finally confessed she needs to stop and hug every now and again to reduce anxiety.
It was touch and go from there on.
Some bunny loves you.
What shape is a kiss?
A-lip-tickle.
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