Not to brag, but I already have a date for Valentines Day.
February 14th.
Are you a flame? Because I think I found my perfect match.
This Valentine's day, I decided to pay extra and buy flowers that look after themselves.
They are Self Raising.
"You're a real good egg."
Son: does Easter Bunny set out 12 eggs in the field to search for?
Dad: no he dozen’t.
You have me greening from ear to ear.
You better beer-live it!
Who needs luck? I have charm.
What did Adam say on the day before Christmas? It's Christmas, Eve!
"I'm eggs-hausted."
Say it ain’t snow.
Best in snow.
"Happy eggster."
You must be a bowling ball since you’re right up my alley.
You snooze. You booze.
"Some bunny needs vodka."
"Just one hot chick."
Zero lucks given on St. Patrick’s Day.
It’s snow joke.
If you were words on a page, you'd be what they call the FINE print!
"Have an egg-cellent Easter."
I “lub” you.
Christmas has me feeling extra Santa-mental.
"Just looking on the sunny side."
“Someone’s barking up the wrong Christmas tree.”
What do you call Santa living at the South Pole? A lost clause.
You raise the bar.
Let’s have a shamrockin’ good time tonight!
You’re my soul Santa.
“Did you know that Father Christmas has a daughter? Her name is Mary Christmas.”
There’s so mushroom in my heart for you.
Sip, sip, horray!
What do you call Santa's helpers? Subordinate clauses.
You’ll be Dublin your fortune soon.
Hold on for deer life.
The snuggle is real.
It’s the most wonderful time of the beer.
I loaf you.
Shake your shamrocks.
What kind of dance do single people do on Valentine's Day?
The Independance!
How does an elf get to Santa's workshop? By icicle.
What do you call Santa when he accidentally falls into the fireplace? Krisp Kringle.
I’m feelin’ pine.
Cheesy Valentines Day Sayings
What does Santa bring naughty boys and girls on Christmas Eve? A pack of batteries with a note saying "toy not included".
I whale always love you.
How does Santa capture photos? With his North Pole-oroid.
“Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve? Because it soots him.”
What do you call a group of rabbits walking backwards?
A receding hareline
Have your elf a merry little Christmas.
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