You snooze. You booze.
He came, he thawed, he conquered.
Let’s take an elfie.
Thank you for making our relationship sweet rather than a rocky road.
“Christmas has me feeling extra Santa-mental.”
“Santa Claus’ favorite swimming spot is the North Pool.”
Why did Santa go to a psychiatrist? He no longer believed in himself.
The paddy don’t start till I walk in.
You are spud-tacular.
What do you call someone who's obsessed with Christmas? Santa-mental.
He’s my pinch charming.
You snow the drill.
If you were words on a page, you'd be what they call the FINE print!
Yule be sorry.
Best in snow.
This year for Valentine's day I got my wife the ace of hearts and packets of corn flour, rice flour and self raising flour
She wasn't happy. Apparently it wasn't what she meant when she said she just wanted a card and flowers.
Time to spruce things up.
Irish puns are the most O'ffensive.
What name does Santa Claus use when he takes a break from delivering gifts? Santa Pause!
Sometimes you have to green and bear it.
Make it rein.
Do you beer-lieve in magic?
I can heartly wait to see you.
I would talk about Valentine’s Day
But it looks like I missed my date.
What did one ornament say to another? I like hanging with you.
"Happy eggster."
"Eggs love you."
"Eggs-cuse me."
I aorta tell you how much I love you.
It’s snow joke.
Who’s ready to party their shamrocks off?
Are you a 30 degree angle? Because you're acute-y.
You must be a geologist because you rock my world.
Birch, please.
What genre of music do elves love to listen to? Wrap.
Where does Santa stay when he goes on vacation? At a ho-ho-ho-tel.
I made Chinese for Easter dinner
If I had made Japanese it would have been Eastest Dinner.
You have me greening from ear to ear.
What did the mountain say to the hill on Valentine's day?
You make my heart gush, I lava you.
I’ll never fir-get.
Be-leaf me, you look great in green.
I wood never leaf you.
I asked the older woman at work what she is doing for Valentine’s Day and she said that she was taking her husband to the Cardiologist. The heart wants what the heart wants.
I bought my wife a matching belt and bag for Valentine's Day
She should have that vacuum up and running in no time.
"Just one hot chick."
For Valentines Day, I decided to get my wife some beads for an abacus.
It’s the little things that count.
"That's all, yolks."
I call the shots.
What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa?
A rebel without a Claus!
"Over-easy like Sunday morning."
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