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Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
The baa-baa shop.
Someone stole my wig!
That was a bald move.
What’s orange with bad hair and hears ‘boo’ a lot?
A haunted pumpkin with a wig.
Coworker: Hey, I reallly like your hair! What's your secret?
Me: Thank-you! I don't get very many complements on it. Most people are gel-ous.
Why does James Bond Have grey hair?
Because there's no time to dye!
My friend went bald years ago, but still carries his old comb with him.
He just can’t part with it.
I gave my wife a broken hair-dryer for her birthday
She wasn’t blown away.
My mother-in-law never taught my wife to shave her legs without getting cut.
She didn’t razor right.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
My wife claims that she can wax my chest hair without me feeling any pain at all.
I don’t think she’ll be able to pull it off.
Huge explosion at the hair brush factory...
Investigators are still combing through the wreckage.
Why does Bruce Wayne have such fabulous hair?
He uses conditioner Gordon.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked.
Why did dad shave his daughters barbie?
She wanted 100 doll hairs.
What did the electrician use to moisturise his hair?
Air conditioner.
What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
Shamboo.
What do you call somebody who's addicted to trimming hair?
A clipptomaniac!
What helps a pirates hair grow?
Aaarrrgan oil.
Did you get a hair cut?
No, I got them all cut.
When my great-grandad went bald, he built a machine to weave himself a wig out of yarn. He then gave it to my grandad, who then gave it to my dad - and one day, it will be mine.
It’s our family hair loom.
A guy was storing all the facial hair since he was young and had created a huge pile.
When his wife told him to get rid of it, he said "no, it's a must stash".
Not everyone looks good with a wig
But I think you could really pull it off.
It took me forever to figure out where my mustache went.
Turns out, it was right under my nose the whole time.
What do you call James Bond with no beard ?
Agent Zero Zero Shaven.
I mustache you a question..
but I'll shave it for later.
My friends tell me I'm like a beard..
I grow down or sideways, but I never grow up!
What type of hairstyle is popular with polar bears?
Frosted tips.
My wife, whilst trying to brush my son's hair, told him he was having a bad hair day.
My son replied, "Oh, is it being knotty?"
Why don’t orcas have hair?
They have whale pattern baldness.
What's a bee's favorite hairstyle?
A buzz cut.
Daughter: Did you get a hair cut?
Dad: No sweetheart I got em all cut.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
What do you call it when you have proof that you bought a wig?
A receipting hairline
What does Satan shave with?
A hell razor.
My executive assistant has long hair.
I call him my mane man.
What's the best hairstyle for a gun?
Bangs.
Did you guys see the cow with facial hair?
It has a moo-stache.
If Satan ever lost his hair...
There would be hell toupee.
Daughter: I think I'm going to put my hair in a bun tomorrow.
Dad: We're all out. You'll have to use bread.
What does a bee use to brush it's hair ?
A Honeycomb.
What is a butchers favorite facial hair style?
Mutton chops.
My daughter asked me if I could put her hair in a bun. I said...
“I could but I think the baker might object”.
Why do Pencils shave?
To look sharp.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair...
She thought she would dye.
I bought a wig for a dollar...
It was a small price toupee.
What kind of hair explodes?
Bangs.
Have you heard of the hair stylist that refuses to cut hair?
If she won't cut hair to earn a living, she'll certainly dye.
I told my son that I wash my hair with poo but I lied.
It’s not real poo, it’s a sham poo.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she’s not your friend anymore.