Some guy with cancer insulted my hair today.
Bald words for someone without it.
I told my son that I wash my hair with poo but I lied.
It’s not real poo, it’s a sham poo.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
A bald man walks into the Hair Club. “I’d like to buy a hair piece if the price is right.”
Hair Club Salesperson: “Well sir, how much do you want toupee?”
Several years ago, I lost all my hair. Yes, I'm bald. But, I still keep my comb. I bring it with me everywhere still.
I just can't part with it.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair...
She thought she would dye.
What do you call a group of guys waiting to get their hair cut?
A Barbecue.
My wife hates the colour of her hair...
She's dyeing to change it.
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Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
The baa-baa shop.
What’s orange with bad hair and hears ‘boo’ a lot?
A haunted pumpkin with a wig.
What does a funeral home hair stylist handle on a daily basis?
A brush with death
How did Pavlov get such great hair?
He conditioned it.
What do ghosts use to wash their hair?
Shamboo.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honey combs!
Why don’t orcas have hair?
They have whale pattern baldness.
If Satan ever lost his hair...
There would be hell toupee.
Someone put LSD in my hair gel
My hair has been spiked!
What kind of hair explodes?
Bangs.
I recently had my hair cut.
At first I didn’t like it but now it’s growing on me.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it.
My daughter asked me if I could put her hair in a bun. I said...
“I could but I think the baker might object”.