What does a Greek machine need to work?
Greece.
What is a Greek dog’s favorite dessert?
Barklava!
Historians have discovered a new Greek God who didn’t excel at anything.
His name was mediocretese.
Did you know the first French fries weren't actually cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.
What did the prehistoric Greeks call their goddess of love?
Troglodite.
What happens when Greeks come back from war?
They get a gyro’s welcome.
Son: I was really Hungary and I ate the whole Turkey. There is only Greece left.
Me: I couldn’t Bolivia!
How do you get in contact with a Greek architect?
You column.
Some people say Greece should stop using the euro as currency...
I think they're being over-drachmatic.
A few years ago, I had a job translating pre-Classical Greek literature into Braille.
It feels like ancient history.
What's the difference between Greek yogurt and regular yogurt?
Greek yogurt has a rich cultural history.
My son asked me, what’s a Greek urn?
I said, “about 20 drachmas a day.”
If you don’t have a lot of figurines from Ancient Greek mythology, I can give you a mini tour.
What do you call a Greek philosopher who loves rice?
Arisotto.
A lot of William Shakespeare’s plays were based off of old Greek and Roman performances
That's playgarism if you ask me.
Which ancient Greek Philosopher had a foot fetish?
Play-toe.
Or was it Sock-rates?
Other people had drugs in school, but I brought Greek cheeses.
That way I could have math and feta cheese.
A company from Israel took over the Greek national cheese factory in Greece
Now it's called the Cheeses of Nazareth.
I've been dying to go to Greece on vacation.
But all they serve is bar food.
What do you call the Greek version of Spider-Man?
Pita Parker.
Son: "Dad, why'd you name me Odysseus? He's from greek mythology."
Dad: "Well son, you broke through the trojan wall."
How did citizens of Ancient Greece measure land for crops?
By Demeter.
A soda can, a gas tank and the Greek god Eros walked into a bar?
The bartender shook his head, “Here comes trouble.” A patron at the bar said, “What’s wrong?” The bartender replied, “Those guys get together and they become cantankeros.”
What did Sophocles call his dating service in Ancient Greece?
Oedipal Arrangements.
An ancient Greek walks into his tailor’s shop with a pair of torn pants.
‘’Euripides’’ says the tailor. ‘’Yeah, Eumenides?’’ replies the man.
Have you seen the Greek book that became a movie? You odyssey it.
I was at a thrift store and the guy ahead of me was purchasing an antique urn made in Greece
He asked the cashier if she knew how much a Greek urns.
In Ancient Greece, people who had beliefs contrary to the worship of Poseidon were executed for Heresea.
What's the name of the machine the ancient greeks used to calculate how best to fight hybrid monsters?
The antichimera mechanism.
What sound does a Greek cow make?
"μ"
I guess you can say my misunderstanding of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles
Elbow.
Did you know that the Greek god Chronos was in the Mafia?
He was the Don of Time itself!
Brother: "My friend John is in Greece studying abroad."
My Dad: "What's her name?"
If Russia attacked Turkey from behind do you think Greece would help?
What do you call a Greek love song?
An Aphro-ditty.
What do you call the Greek God of Mexican chickens?
Apollo
In Greek Mythology, Chiron was not only half man and half horse, he was also a doctor of medicine
That made him the centaur for disease control.
What is the capital of Greece?
G.
I can't stand Greek salads.
I like un-feta'd access to my greens.
The Greeks make the best cheese
You feta believe it!
What does a Greek God say when they answer the phone?
"Whodisious?"
I'll be making a movie about the Greek alphabets.
It's a Psi Phi film.
How do Greek gods say sorry to one another
"I Apollo-gise"
Who is the most famous actor in Greece ?
John Travolta.
What do cows in Greece sound like?
They say µ.
My son claims that he identifies as an ancient Greek string instrument.
Frankly, I think he's a lyre.
Why do people in Greece not wake up until noon?
Because Dawn is tough on greece.
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