I was going to buy a new pillow....
but I decided I better sleep on it first
I used to hate the electric blanket.
But the last few nights I’ve been warming up to it.
Do you think anyone will buy the new furniture made by Apple?
iWood
I know a good joke about Ikea furniture, but I'm still putting it together.
My wife said we needed to have a serious talk about my obsession with furniture.
I said we could table it for now.
I'm never sure if I like rocking chairs or not.
I go back and forth on them
Why did the bicycle go to bed early?
Because it was two-tyred
What do you do when you are in the wrong seat?
Stand corrected
What happens when you make love on a couch?
It becomes a sectional.
How do you call an extremely soothing table?
A console
What’s Irish and stays outside all year?
Patty O’Furniture
My wife ordered one of those new heavy blankets but delivery took forever...
She says it was worth the weight.
The salesman at the furniture store told me "This sofa will seat 5 people without any problems!"
To which I said, “Where on earth am I going to find 5 people without any problems?”
Have you heard about these new corduroy pillow cases?
They're really making headlines.
Someone took my three-legged chair.
I guess it was stoolen
My wife was a bit down so I decided to redecorate our living room.
Thought it would chair her up but sofa she haven't even noticed
I had a few doubts about buying a big metal cabinet to store all my valuables.
Turns out... it was a safe purchase.
Why does a lawyer tuck a suitcase into bed?
To rest his case
I put a blanket on a small pepper
He said he felt a little chili
I love my furniture... Me and my recliner go way back.
I think a couch can endure many things, but if you take off its cushions, it would make it uncomfortable.
There's a group of guys that assemble wooden furniture for fun.
I hope they let me join.
I stubbed my toe onto a piece of furniture. C-ouch!
How do you move a piece of furniture at the weather station?
With four casters.
My wife chose a new dining table with a metal frame instead of a wooden one
I complimented her on picking an unteak.
I'm studying the meaning of couches in different parts of the world.
It's really PhillySOFAcal.
What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed?
Oh Sheet
A man started wearing a blanket to the office.
His colleagues began to suspect he was working undercover...
What do you do with a wardrobe door that is slightly ajar?
You clothes it.
What do you call an artistic piece of furniture?
A drawer
What do you call a furniture store that is over 30 miles away?
The Sofa-r store
What would a self deprecating wardrobe say?
"I hate my-shelf"
I thought I won the argument with my wife as to how to arrange the dining room furniture... But when I got home, the tables were turned
My office chair broke. It’s letting me down.
I've started a new band called "Blanket".
We're a cover band
My husband hated my impulse purchase of a revolving chair, but then he sat on it.
Eventually he came around.
What is the biggest type of bed ?
The sea bed.
How is a shoddy furniture manufacturer like a bag of prunes?
They both create loose stools.
Scientists have discovered what is believed to be the world's largest bed sheet.
More on this story, as it unfolds.
When the librarian bumped her head, she had no one to blame but her shelf.
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