If you're wondering what to donate to a soup kitchen...
...a dining set would be chair-i-table
When I heard my sofa had been stolen, I thought “I’m not going to take this sitting down”.
What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed?
Oh Sheet
I know a good joke about Ikea furniture, but I'm still putting it together.
What do you do when you are in the wrong seat?
Stand corrected
Why was the cabinet maker fired on his first day?
He just couldn't get a handle on it.
All the chairs in my town were stolen
The people can’t stand it.
How do you move a piece of furniture at the weather station?
With four casters.
I couldn't chair less!
The salesman at the furniture store told me "This sofa will seat 5 people without any problems!"
To which I said, “Where on earth am I going to find 5 people without any problems?”
There's a group of guys that assemble wooden furniture for fun.
I hope they let me join.
My office chair broke. It’s letting me down.
How is a shoddy furniture manufacturer like a bag of prunes?
They both create loose stools.
What kind of blanket has the most patience?
A weighted blanket.
I came home to find many folders, calendars and filing cabinets were stolen.
Police believe it to be the work of organised crime.
I put some desks and a whiteboard in my living room today.
It made it look a little more classy.
My wife ordered one of those new heavy blankets but delivery took forever...
She says it was worth the weight.
What do you do with a wardrobe door that is slightly ajar?
You clothes it.
I've come up with a list of the top 10 types of specialized chairs.
Number 3 will shock you
I stole two sofas from death, but I wasn’t ready for the reaper cushions.
Why does a lawyer tuck a suitcase into bed?
To rest his case
Remind me not to get into another pillow fight... the risk for a concushion is too big.
I think i spent way too much on this table. It is just not a foldable.
My husband hated my impulse purchase of a revolving chair, but then he sat on it.
Eventually he came around.
The cabinet I made just collapsed and a bunch of books fell and hit me.
I’ve only got my shelf to blame.
I thought I won the argument with my wife as to how to arrange the dining room furniture... But when I got home, the tables were turned
How do you get into an all glass China cabinet?
Sorry, that's glassified.
I had a few doubts about buying a big metal cabinet to store all my valuables.
Turns out... it was a safe purchase.
What do you call donating a chair?
Charity!
I'm never sure if I like rocking chairs or not.
I go back and forth on them
What did the baseball player say when the flight attendant asked what seat he was in?
"Put me in coach."
I woke up in the middle of the night and found all the blankets on my bed were missing.
I was scared sheetless.
What pillow set do the church organist and his wife have?
Hymn and Hers.
My friend was bragging about his new L-shaped sofa, so I told him I had one too.
It's just lowercase.
I'm studying the meaning of couches in different parts of the world.
It's really PhillySOFAcal.
Two cabinets walk out of a bar...
One says to the other, "you walking home?" and the other replies, "Nah, I'm cabinet."
Have you heard about these new corduroy pillow cases?
They're really making headlines.
What happens when you make love on a couch?
It becomes a sectional.
What’s the healthiest piece of furniture?
The vege-table
Scientists have discovered what is believed to be the world's largest bed sheet.
More on this story, as it unfolds.
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