I feel a bit bad for making blanket statements.....
They're my quilty pleasure
It was my first attempt at repairing my wobbly picnic table.
I totally nailed it.
How many drum sets can you store on a sofa?
One per cushion
My wife chose a new dining table with a metal frame instead of a wooden one
I complimented her on picking an unteak.
How is a shoddy furniture manufacturer like a bag of prunes?
They both create loose stools.
What did the pillow say when the blanket asked it to come hang out?
I'm down
What’s a farmer’s favorite piece of furniture?
a COWch.
My husband hated my impulse purchase of a revolving chair, but then he sat on it.
Eventually he came around.
How do you get into an all glass China cabinet?
Sorry, that's glassified.
Just found out they make adult race car beds so I bought one.
That way I can be fast asleep.
I thought I won the argument with my wife as to how to arrange the dining room furniture... But when I got home, the tables were turned
I've come up with a list of the top 10 types of specialized chairs.
Number 3 will shock you
What kind of blanket has the most patience?
A weighted blanket.
Scientists have discovered what is believed to be the world's largest bed sheet.
More on this story, as it unfolds.
The salesman at the furniture store told me "This sofa will seat 5 people without any problems!"
To which I said, “Where on earth am I going to find 5 people without any problems?”
A man started wearing a blanket to the office.
His colleagues began to suspect he was working undercover...
Have you heard about these new corduroy pillow cases?
They're really making headlines.
I started sleeping on the left side of the bed
It just doesn't feel right.
What would a self deprecating wardrobe say?
"I hate my-shelf"
I know a good joke about Ikea furniture, but I'm still putting it together.
I think the final paragraph of my essay is on the top shelf...
But I don't want to jump to conclusions.
I'm never sure if I like rocking chairs or not.
I go back and forth on them
I woke up in the middle of the night and found all the blankets on my bed were missing.
I was scared sheetless.
What do you do when you are in the wrong seat?
Stand corrected
When I heard my sofa had been stolen, I thought “I’m not going to take this sitting down”.
My friend was bragging about his new L-shaped sofa, so I told him I had one too.
It's just lowercase.
Someone took my three-legged chair.
I guess it was stoolen
I put a blanket on a small pepper
He said he felt a little chili
Two cabinets walk out of a bar...
One says to the other, "you walking home?" and the other replies, "Nah, I'm cabinet."
My chair finally broke down yesterday.
It just doesn't give a sit anymore.
Nothing really mattress.
I stole two sofas from death, but I wasn’t ready for the reaper cushions.
I came home to find many folders, calendars and filing cabinets were stolen.
Police believe it to be the work of organised crime.
What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed?
Oh Sheet
How do you get more bounce in a water bed?
Put some spring water in it
What did the Papa Blanket say to the Mama Blanket when the Baby Blanket was crying?
Comforter.
Why does a lawyer tuck a suitcase into bed?
To rest his case
I think a couch can endure many things, but if you take off its cushions, it would make it uncomfortable.
Why does a milking chair only have three legs?
The cow has the udder.
Why does your laptop have a blanket on it?
It's on sleep mode.
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