What do you do when you are in the wrong seat?
Stand corrected
What’s a farmer’s favorite piece of furniture?
a COWch.
Have you heard about these new corduroy pillow cases?
They're really making headlines.
When the librarian bumped her head, she had no one to blame but her shelf.
I'm never sure if I like rocking chairs or not.
I go back and forth on them
My wife chose a new dining table with a metal frame instead of a wooden one
I complimented her on picking an unteak.
I think the final paragraph of my essay is on the top shelf...
But I don't want to jump to conclusions.
My wife was a bit down so I decided to redecorate our living room.
Thought it would chair her up but sofa she haven't even noticed
Remind me not to get into another pillow fight... the risk for a concushion is too big.
I was going to replace the seats at my bar
But... I just can't look at another stool sample
Why is IKEA the cheapest place to get furniture?
Because they have some Swede deals!
What’s the healthiest piece of furniture?
The vege-table
I love my furniture... Me and my recliner go way back.
Why does a milking chair only have three legs?
The cow has the udder.
Nothing really mattress.
Why doesn't james bond fart in bed?
Because it'll blow his cover
What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed?
Oh Sheet
I'm moving some couches today...
Sofa, so good!
What happens when you make love on a couch?
It becomes a sectional.
What kind of blanket has the most patience?
A weighted blanket.
What did the flirty coat say to the jacket?
"Do you hang here often?"
What would a self deprecating wardrobe say?
"I hate my-shelf"
Just found out they make adult race car beds so I bought one.
That way I can be fast asleep.
I think i spent way too much on this table. It is just not a foldable.
Did you hear about the guy who's blanket fell off of him in the hospital?
He never recovered
Do you think anyone will buy the new furniture made by Apple?
iWood
What is the biggest type of bed ?
The sea bed.
I tried to build myself an armchair, but I messed up some of the measurements and made it too wide.
So near, and yet sofa
I've come up with a list of the top 10 types of specialized chairs.
Number 3 will shock you
I feel a bit bad for making blanket statements.....
They're my quilty pleasure
What did the baseball player say when the flight attendant asked what seat he was in?
"Put me in coach."
I started sleeping on the left side of the bed
It just doesn't feel right.
Why does a lawyer tuck a suitcase into bed?
To rest his case
How do you call an extremely soothing table?
A console
My husband hated my impulse purchase of a revolving chair, but then he sat on it.
Eventually he came around.
Which noble man loves sitting at a round table?
Sir Cumference
What’s Irish and stays outside all year?
Patty O’Furniture
What do you call a furniture store that is over 30 miles away?
The Sofa-r store
A student made our teacher so angry, they flipped their desk
Oh, the tables have turned
I had a few doubts about buying a big metal cabinet to store all my valuables.
Turns out... it was a safe purchase.
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