If you're wondering what to donate to a soup kitchen...
...a dining set would be chair-i-table
I put some desks and a whiteboard in my living room today.
It made it look a little more classy.
What does a couch say to another couch at the other side of the room?
We are sofa apart!
What do you call donating a chair?
Charity!
What happens when a closet goes into fighting?
It turns into a wardrobe.
Scientists have discovered what is believed to be the world's largest bed sheet.
More on this story, as it unfolds.
What did Papa cabinet advise to his Son cabinet before his first date?
"Just be youshelf"
I stole two sofas from death, but I wasn’t ready for the reaper cushions.
A man started wearing a blanket to the office.
His colleagues began to suspect he was working undercover...
How do you move a piece of furniture at the weather station?
With four casters.
What do you call an artistic piece of furniture?
A drawer
I love my furniture... Me and my recliner go way back.
My office chair broke. It’s letting me down.
What do you do with a wardrobe door that is slightly ajar?
You clothes it.
I think the final paragraph of my essay is on the top shelf...
But I don't want to jump to conclusions.
How do you call an extremely soothing table?
A console
What happens when you make love on a couch?
It becomes a sectional.
Why was the cabinet maker fired on his first day?
He just couldn't get a handle on it.
Why does your laptop have a blanket on it?
It's on sleep mode.
I started sleeping on the left side of the bed
It just doesn't feel right.
I'm never sure if I like rocking chairs or not.
I go back and forth on them
Why did the broom decide to go to bed?
He was getting sweepy
I think a couch can endure many things, but if you take off its cushions, it would make it uncomfortable.
What kind of blanket has the most patience?
A weighted blanket.
What did the baseball player say when the flight attendant asked what seat he was in?
"Put me in coach."
I was going to buy a new pillow....
but I decided I better sleep on it first
I know a good joke about Ikea furniture, but I'm still putting it together.
Which noble man loves sitting at a round table?
Sir Cumference
What do you do when you are in the wrong seat?
Stand corrected
My wife ordered one of those new heavy blankets but delivery took forever...
She says it was worth the weight.
What do you call a furniture store that is over 30 miles away?
The Sofa-r store
How do you get more bounce in a water bed?
Put some spring water in it
All the chairs in my town were stolen
The people can’t stand it.
What is the biggest type of bed ?
The sea bed.
I put a blanket on a small pepper
He said he felt a little chili
When the librarian bumped her head, she had no one to blame but her shelf.
Why doesn't james bond fart in bed?
Because it'll blow his cover
How do you get into an all glass China cabinet?
Sorry, that's glassified.
My wife chose a new dining table with a metal frame instead of a wooden one
I complimented her on picking an unteak.
Have you heard about these new corduroy pillow cases?
They're really making headlines.
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