Why couldn’t the police arrest the skeleton?
They couldn’t pin anything on him.
One or two hours warm my heart,
But 24 hours make my day.
Donating blood can be A-positive experience
But sometimes it can B-negative.
What sea creature never tells the truth
A lion fish.
What is a Jedi electrician’s favorite tool? His lightsaber”
Do you know what you call the outside of a watermelon?
“Rind of.”
What do ducks watch on TV?
Duck-umentaries.
The doctor told me I probably won’t be able to walk again after getting into an accident with a newspaper delivery truck.
I was crushed by the news.
The shrubs were gearing up for a fight with the grass, but they never saw the blades come in.
What did the minotaur say to the real estate agent?
- Amazing.
Why did the orange help the old lady cross the road?
To do a random act of rindness.
What do you do when your friend is a claustrophobic astronaut?
You give him a little space.
Drinking tea while being too calm can kill you, did you know?
It's called a casual tea.
I'm going to combine my interests of taxidermy and bomb making
by making you an otter you can't defuse.
Which nut has won the World Cup the most times?
A Brazil nut.
Why do piglets take home economics in school? To learn how to sow.
Why do you think is the moon bald? Because it has no ‘air.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite toy?
A. A bab-boom-orang.
I got my paycheck with a lemon slice on it today...
turned out my ex-wife was garnishing my wages.
What currency do astronauts use in space?
Starbucks.
What did the vampire say to the vampire hunter that missed his heart.
Well wasnt that an unfortunate missed-stake.
Why are Scandinavians the fastest runners in the world?
Because they start out near the Finnish line.
How do you know that beer makes you smarter?
Because it made bud wiser.
Waddaya get when you cross a cowboy with an Egyptian Pharaoh?
Darn Tutankhamun!
What do you call the dandruff found on unicorn manes? Horn flakes.
Who puts money under a deer’s pillow when they lose a tooth?
The hoof fairy.
What washes up on tiny beaches? Microwaves.
What is in the middle of dinosaurs ? The letter "s"!
How do a group of skeletons drive to work?
In the carpal lane.
I like fried chickpeas, but I shouldn't eat them. Every time I do I falafel.
I used Brylcreem this morning to slick back my hair like my father used to do. My wife asked me what I was doing.
I said, "I'm having a dad hair day."
Q. Which Greek eggplant dish do deer really eat up?
A. Moose-aka.
Q. What do you get when you cross a doe with a bull?
A. A deery cow.
I tried to hit the picture cleanly over the fence, but it was framed.
Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
A soda can, a gas tank and the Greek god Eros walked into a bar?
The bartender shook his head, “Here comes trouble.” A patron at the bar said, “What’s wrong?” The bartender replied, “Those guys get together and they become cantankeros.”
Gave my pet leopard a bath every day. Now he’s spotless.
Why didn’t the skeleton rob the bank?
Because he didn’t have the guts.
Turtles love taking shell-fies.
Why are alligators long and green?
Because if they were small and red, they would be tomatoes.
Strawberries are considered to be the most bullied fruits because they're always getting picked on.
Which religious figure does dairy products worship? Cheese-us!
What do cloves use for money? Garlic "Bread."
You don’t like my winter pun? How cold!
What did the tree say to autumn? Leaf me alone.
What made the dinosaur's car stop ? A flat Tire-annosaurus!
What happened when the kid got confused with beavers and coypus in the exam? He said, " I otter know better."
What do you call a man who is too big for an alligator to eat?
A jawbreaker.
KFC have hired geneticists to edit chicken DNA
Apparently they want something CRISPR.
I only have ice for you.
Go to BabaMail
