Why do tigers always hunt and eat their prey raw?
Because they don’t know how to cook it.
How many ants are needed to fill an apartment?
Ten-ants.
When you lick the icing off a spoon are you defrosting it?
Why did the giant ape climb up the side of the skyscraper?
Because the elevator was broken.
Pig always have ink all over their faces because they live in a pen.
Why did Noah have to punish the chickens on the Ark?
They were using fowl language.
What did the llama get when he graduated school?
A dipllama.
Why did the computer come with airbags?
In case it crashed.
What did the penguin say after he went shopping?
Put it on my bill.
You are one candle closer to starting a house fire.
Which one of King Arthur's knights named the Round Table?
Sir Cumference
Sometimes you have to green and bear it.
What do you call dumb jokes at the beach?
Comic sands.
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
What's the ghoul's favorite sauce?
Grave-y.
Friends are like condoms: They protect you when things get hard.
Why don't crabs give to charity?
Because they're shellfish.
How do snails get their shells so shiny? They use snail varnish!
Why does the superhero shred his cheese?
For the grater good.
What did the fairy say to the other fairy?
It’s fairy nice to meet you!
Have you heard of the garlic diet? You don't lose much weight, but from a distance your friends think you look thinner!
A medieval lawyer lost his license and became instead an insult musician for taverns...
His stage name "Diss-Bard"
How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Only 2. They'll fit.
Why did the cow go to space?
to get ice cream.
Did you hear about the watermelon who starred in a telanovella?
“It was melondramatic.”
Why didn’t the skull go to the dentist?
It was too-th late.
Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honeycombs.
Why doesn't the moon shave?
Because it waxes.
It's only quarantine if it comes from the quarantine region of France;
otherwise, it's just sparkling isolation.
What kind of magazine does a rock like to read?
Rolling Stone.
What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa?
A rebel without a Claus!
If you’re looking for Valentine’s Day inspiration for a meat loving crush, try “Will you beef my Valentine?”
No one could measure their height in medieval kingdoms.
Only the Ruler could.
I once attended the saddest watermelon funeral I’ve ever been to. I gotta say, I’ve never seen anything so meloncholy in my life.
Where does fog go to the bathroom?
Anywhere it wants.
"I hate tacos!"
Said no Juan ever.
How do whales make a decision?
They flipper coin.
When we put our two hearts together, we can’t be beat.
What did the beach say to the water? "I need some vitamin sea."
How does a restaurant get the freshest ingredients? They cut a dill.
I'm good at manicures but bad at languages.
Although I think I would nail Polish.
When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
What did the first century Christian say about the lion that killed his wife?
I'm Gladiator.
When you push a strawberry down a hill, you make a strawberry turnover.
What does a dolphin say when he’s confused?
Can you please be more Pacific?
The sun is just a big space heater.
What is the left side of an apple? The part that you don't eat.
Did you hear about the 2 Tow Truck drivers who wanted to elope?
They got hitched.
How do you kill a troll?
Take away its internet access.
I was going to joke about my broken pencil, but it was pointless.
Go to BabaMail
