What comes out of your nose at 200 mph?
Lambogreeny.
I like you, you croc my world.
Whats The Most tiniest Virus Ever? "smallpox".
What did the judge say when a skunk walked into the courtroom?
"Odor in the court!"
A man goes to the doctors and says " Doc, I'm having problems with my ears, I think I'm going deaf".
The Doc says " Can you tell me the symptoms?"
The man replies, " Well, Homer's the big fat bloke, and Marge has blue hair!"
You are really talented. You should join a punk-croc band.
What do skeletons complain about?
Aching bones.
Who’s your paddy?
What kind of money snowmen use in the North Pole?
Cold cash!
Did you hear about that show that tests the listening skills of vegetables?
Its tests the ears of its corn-testants.
My friend bought a new house, and invited everyone to a party.
My dad asks, "How was the house warming?" And I said, "With the furnace, I suppose."
What does a cow say to milk? I am your mother.
People don't believe me when I tell them I'm the lead singer in a Black Eyed Peas tribute band....
Well I am.
What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden?
Your mother ate us out of house and home.
Did you hear about the kangaroo with glasses?
He had to go to the hopthalmologist.
Why did the bald man decide to paint a bunch of rabbits on his head? He thought that they could look like hares from a distance.
My dentist said that my oral hygiene wasn't up to scratch, so she recommended me a new toothpaste.
Now all I need is a toothbrush.
Why do you cry, Willy?
Why do you cry?
Why, Willy?
Why, Willy?
Why, Willy? Why?
What do fruits do when they are really really afraid? They run away as fast as their legs can cherry them.
The snuggle is real.
I wish that I could be the coronary artery of my wife so that I would be wrapped around her heart.
What’s the one way you should never greet a male pig? “Sow, what’s up?”
Me: "Alexa check my bank balance and tell me which apple product can I buy?"
Alexa- "Apple juice."
What kind of writer did the ghost hire to write his biography? A ghostwriter, duh.
What music are balloons scared of? Pop music
It's ice to meet you.
I have a high shelf in my kitchen to store meat. It’s safe to say...
The steaks are high.
Why don’t leprechauns run?
They’d rather jig than jog.
Did you hear about the bread party? It’s scone be a lot of fun, and wheat love for you to join us.
Why were the volleyball players always tying in tic tac toe? Each time one of them sets an X, the other player just says O.
When dad died he left me his Subaru.
It was his final Legacy.
I know a guy who absolutely loves his pet Parrot.
He is Polly-Amorous.
What kind of elf lives in a soda can?
A Sprite!
I usually meet my girlfriend at 12:59 because I like that one-to-one time.
My deaf girlfriend just told me, “We need to talk.”
That is not a good sign.
I was so disappointed when I went to the court house themed restaurant and all they gave me was frozen water.
Justice was served.
Why was the Jack-o-Lantern sad on Halloween?
Because he felt empty inside.
Was a bit lonely by myself at home last night on Valentine's Day so I decided to make my own bread.
I was feeling quite kneady
Why was red in awe of orange?
“Because orange blue green.”
Did you hear about the farmer who sold his sheep to slaughter because he wasn't making enough money from the wool? The situation went from baa-d to wurst!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you going to open the door.
What do you call a hairy beast that no longer exists?
A were-wolf!
Tie twine to three tree twigs.
Why are alligator comedians so funny?
Their wit is as razor sharp as their teeth!
What did the baseball glove say to the ball?
Catch ya later.
What do you call a reindeer ghost? A cari-boo!
Why do donuts make terrible teachers?
They’re always glazing over the important stuff.
What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a unicycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle?
Attire.
“Dachshund Through the Snow.”
When you come across a lost wolf, the first greeting should be, “how are you where-wolf”.
Go to BabaMail
