What's invisible and smells like worms?
Bird farts.
If you see a deer without antlers acting crazy, don’t eat it without cooking it first.
Everyone knows you can’t eat raw kooky doe.
It may seem a bit corny but we appreciate you working your tail off for us.
What do doctors use to diagnose chickens?
Eggsray.
What do you call a monkey in a minefield?
A baboom.
A ship load of red paint crashed into a ship load of blue paint. The crews were marooned.
Milk trucks always drive so fast, don’t they? You blink and they’re already pasteurize.
What do you call a can of soda in a conglomerate? Coca-Cola Clastic.
What do you call a group of nuts? A nut
Have you found the center of gravity yet? It’s the letter v.
Why did the skeleton go to church?
Because it didn’t have any organs.
Why do trolls live under bridges?
To troll goats!
If you are wondering about the most important constitutional right of a peach citizen, well, it's none other than freedom of peach.
As the storm was brewing, the madman raised his hands and cried, "Hail Storms! Long may they rain!"
What's the difference between black eyed peas and chickpeas?
Black eyed peas can sing a tune, chickpeas can only hummus one.
Bookworms take shelfies.
What do you call a musician with problems? a trebled man.
What type of motorcycle do London Plane trees like to ride? Treeumph.
You’re the cutest clover in the patch.
3 animals enter a bar. A lion, a tiger and a bear.
Oh my!
My 6 year old daughter has lined up all of her dolls towards the outdoor grill...
Looks like she’s preparing some kind of Barbie queue...
A doctor walked into an exam room to see a patient with carrots sticking out his ears and broccoli up his nose.
The doctor said: “I can tell right away that you haven't been eating properly."
Why is it so hard for people with asthma to have exciting dates?
The last thing you want is someone to take your breath away!
What does a piece of cheese tell you during a game of tag?
Cheez it.
What do you do with dead geologists?
You barium.
The local baker keeps punching his doughy friend because he wants to get a rise out of him.
Why did a baseball player decide to take a job at a used car lot during his off season?
He wanted to work on his sales pitch.
What goes black, white, black, white, black, white?
A panda rolling down a hill.
What do you call an ant dipped in chocolate? Decad-ant.
An artist painted a wonderful fruit painting. It was a beautiful peach of work.
"Having a good hare day."
We caught the drummer of our band masturbating over his drum kit...
I guess the pervert thinks of them as s*x cymbals.
Are you WiFi?
Because I can feel the connection between us.
Why are there old dinosaur bones in the museum? Because they can't afford new ones!
Who did Prince Mushroom fall in love with at the royal ball? - Chanterella!
What do you call a person who illegally delivers hugs from country to country?
An international snuggler
Lost my bread knife the other day..
I'm absolutely gutted...we've been through thick and thin
Yesterday’s weather forecast predicted freezing rain. However, it turned out to be quite an ice day.
How do trees get onto the internet? They just log on.
What happens after you eat an entire gallon of "All Natural" ice cream? You get Breyer's remorse!
I'm currently dating a famous soccer player. He's so loving and caring towards me.
He's a keeper.
What kind of books do owls read?
Hoo-dunnits.
Why are ducks bad drivers?
Their windshields are qwacked.
What do horses get after graduating university?
A pedegree.
What did the zombie carrot say to the lettuce?
- Give me your heads!!
What does the Pope eat during Lent?
Holy mackerel.
I have the final sleigh.
Have you heard about a man who became a werewolf?
He was distressed at first, but then he took a lycan to it.
What do you call it when you walk into a coffee shop and feel like you've been there before? Déja-brew.
Autumn brings re-leaf from the heat.
Go to BabaMail
