I used to love puns about throwing things, but now I don’t.
It was just a fling.
She got fired from the hot dog stand for putting her hair in a bun.
When the storm begun, the garden party became a bit disorganized and food service was turned to a frost come frost served.
What does it take to be good at making Greek pottery?
You have to urn it.
Q: What kind of desserts does a turkey like?
A: Peach gobbler.
That crazy little sun of a beach.
Why was the king only a foot tall?
Because he was a ruler.
Why are street thugs so good at basketball?
Because they know how to shoot, steal, and run.
I just got a new bathtub
But we dont have to get into that right now
Just can't get away from my broken keyboard. There's no escape.
What did the carp say to his crush?
Don’t play koi with me!
How did the woman react when the doctor suggested she have a brain biopsy?
She gave him a piece of her mind.
What kind of keys does a kid skeleton use on Halloween? Cook-keys.
Reindeer don't go to school—they're elf taught.
The last ten times I’ve been to a fancy dress party, I’ve gone as a shark.
The joke’s wearing fin.
"I'm so egg-cited, I just can't hide it."
I went to the zoo the other day and saw an alligator that will only eat finely chopped food.
It was an alligrator.
What is the collective noun for Ghosts? Team spirit.
What did the cheese say to the other cheese? I smell something swiss-picious!
If you are ever babysitting a cherry, remember that their favorite cartoon is Tom And Cherry.
Congrats on proving that getting older doesn’t mean getting wiser.
How do you know your eating rabbit soup? When there's a hare in it.
"Cabernet. More like, caber-yay!"
What do we call a beautiful picture drawn by a peach artist? – It is a great peach of work.
Why are houseflies great at arithmetics? Because they multiply really fast.
What does a Clydesdale say when you offer them a carrot?
“Of course, my horse.”
What’s a vampire’s favorite holiday?
Fangs-giving.
Someone asked me to sing a line from "Don't go breaking my heart"
I couldn't if I tried.
Did you here about the croc with a serious drug addiction?
It was a crackodile.
In Mexico, truck drivers always keep a wheel of cheese in their cabs. Apparently this is in queso emergencies.
Why did the bear quit his job at the daycare center?
It was panda-monium.
Why is Frankenstein’s monster so popular?
He’s a real people person.
What’s a salesman’s favorite Scripture passage?
The Great Commission.
Red ship hits Blue ship...
Sailors marooned.
Why did the firefighters bring a dog along with them?
To help them find the nearest fire hydrant.
Two pebbles washed up on the beach. One says to the other, "Are you married?"
Other replies, "No, I'm shingle."
What Do You Say To A One Legged Hitch Hiker
Hop In.
What did the salt say after it was pepper-sprayed?
That's nothing to sneeze at.
Each time the cow escaped, the farmer would find him hiding in Moo York City.
What do you say when the beach asks you to walk on it?
Shore
What do you call an turkey with a carrot in each ear? Anything you want as he can't hear you!
What do you call a kangaroo DJ?
Disc joey.
Are you a flame? Because I think I found my perfect match.
What do you call a cat that works at a printing shop?
A copy cat.
The urinals were broken at my dad's work
He had to walk a long distance to go to the bathroom. When the plumber came and informed him the urinals were fixed, my dad told him "I'm relieved!"
Beer doesn't make you fat
It makes you lean.
What kind of letters did the snake get from his admirers?
Fang letters.
How did the shark plead in the murder case?
Not gill-ty.
What do chickens serve at birthday parties?
Coop-cakes.
What is the most affordable type of meat? Deer, it is always under a buck a pound.
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