My dog loves Star Wars.
His favorite character is Chew-bark-a.
I know an old man who's a vampire. He's quite long in the tooth.
"Just looking on the sunny side."
Why couldn’t the donut reach enlightenment? Because it was already holy.
What bird regales you with stories of middle earth, knights, and allegory?
Bard owl.
"Doctor, there's a patient on line 1 that says he's invisible."
"Well, tell him I can't see him right now."
Have you guys tried kangaroo beer?
It’s a little hoppy.
What do you call half a head of lettuce?
The Romaine-der.
If there's a will, there's a wave.
I have a spouse in a different nation.
The Imagination.
Did you hear the joke about the pop fly? Oh, nevermind. It was over your head...
I mustache you a question..
but I'll shave it for later.
Why is six afraid of seven?
Because seven eight nine!
My grandfather had the heart of a tiger
And a lifetime ban at the zoo
Took my giant spoon to my cooking class last night. It caused quite a stir.
What do you get if you cross a gnome and a tauren?
A mini-taur.
Part of my alphabetised tea set recently got possessed by a demon.
I’m sure it’s saucer ‘E’.
I was serving my friend a roast in my tiny shoebox apartment. He boasted that he could cook the same dish in a mere two hours...
But I cooked it in a minute flat.
If you hit your head on a coffeemaker
Would it leave a brews?
Why did I start making a cherry pie? Bake-cause I love it.
Having a ball
I handed my dad a calculator for his birthday. with a dissapointed scowl on his face, he asked me: "Wheres the pi?"
I can heartly wait to see you again.
A friend of mine quit his job as a reporter and left town by railway. It was an ex-press train.
Where do most koala movie stars live? In Koalawood, Koalafornia, of course!
What does a trumpet and a baseball have in common? People cheer when you hit them with a bat.
There is one commonality between a magician and a soccer player. They both do hat tricks.
What did the shark say to the whale?
What are you blubbering about?
If you golf on election day…
Be sure to cast an absent-tee ballot.
[Chips] This is what I call a chip shot.
I have a heart-on for you.
I ran into my sibling while exploring the Sahara Desert.
I yelled out, "Oasis!"
I live on top of the mountain and i usually have 99 problems
But the beach ain't one
What do you call a Mexican snake?
Hisssspanic.
An electrocuted turtle feels shell-shocked.
Why couldn't the warden decide whether to allow the prison football team play the professional football team?
The idea had its pros and cons.
True house cleaners aren't just born
They're maid.
What kind of pasta do skeletons enjoy eating the most?
Elbow macaroni.
Santa hit a dragon and killed it whilst flying over medieval England...
... guess you could say he sleighed it
What do you get when you dump your Easter eggs on a hill?
A spring roll!
Why don't skeletons ski the black diamond runs at Copper Mountain?
They've got soul, but they just don't have the heart for it.
What type of dog doesn’t bark?
A hush puppy.
What do flowers study in college?
STEM.
Dear Turkey, don't worry... they only love us for our breasts too. Sincerely, all women.
What do cars play at the weekend?
Golf.
Where does the Easter bunny get his eggs? From an eggplant.
What did the artichoke say to the man eating a salad? Have a heart.
Why is it good to drink witch's brew?
It's very newt-tricious!
How do you keep the snow from giving you cold feet?
Don’t go around BRRfooted!
My girlfriend brought 50,000 bees and put them in our backyard.
She's a keeper.
Go to BabaMail
