The brain is an amazing organ
it really makes you think.
What do skiers order at fast food restaurants?
Icebergers with Chilly Sauce, on the slide.
Did you know, you can actually hide a gigantic elephant in a cherry tree? All you need to do is paint its toenails red. I bet you don’t believe me – but have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? I rest my case.
Have you heard of the band 1023MB?
They haven't got a gig yet.
My doctor didn’t show up to the appointment about my hairline.
He said it got pushed back
I love you meow and forever.
One day, I carried my laptop to the zoo because I wanted a RAM upgrade so I would have lots of memory when I came back.
Where are neurons put in jail when they commit a crime?
A nerve cell.
If you are what you eat, does that mean all squirrels are nuts?
Q. Why couldn't the dinosaur play games on the computer?
A. Because he ate the mous
I am an introvert, but you know how to bring me out of my shell.
Autumn has given me some of my best memories. I am forever grate-fall for it.
Grandma: Do you like Hummus? Me: I love Hummus....and I sometimes like to singus!
The public investigated a box full of crows because it was a murder case.
Why did the bee get married?
She found her honey.
Where do squirrels go when they have a nervous breakdown?
To the nut-house.
What do you call a metalhead working at Cold Stone? Alice Scooper.
A dragon would never explode
But a dino might.
Which hot drinks space people like? Gravi-tea.
If you were born and raised in France, what does that make you?
French bred.
What did one cherry say to the other cherry? If you weren't so tasty we wouldn't be in this jam.
If a hole isn't full of water then it isn't feeling well
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap? It was always on shale.
That’s a-may-zing!
Two hot dogs were having a race. One overtook the other, who called out “I see you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup with me!”
Why are parrots so good at imitations? They love parrot-y! (parody)
What do you call the ghost of a chicken? A poultry-geist.
Hey you like cherry preserves ?
Never mind, its probably not your jam
Why was the basketball court so slippery?
Because all the players were dribbling on it.
Which cranial nerve would be right at home in a well-known city in Nevada?
The vagus nerve.
Bowlers do not make good employees. This is because for 80% of the time, they are always going on strike.
I need to apologize to my fellow Californians for all the recent forest fires.
Apparently I'm the only one that could've prevented them
I want to start a deer breeding business…
But first, I’m gonna need about 5,000 bucks.
The sixth sick sheik’s sixth sheep’s sick.
What do you call the Commander of a vegetable army?
A kernel.
You can fix a broken strawberry with a strawberry patch.
What is a dog’s favorite instrument?
A trom-bone
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
If you encounter a sea monster, you better get Kraken!
The thing about milk-inspired puns is you only reach 2% of their potential.
How many mosquito's does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Only 2, no idea how they got there.
We just got a new chicken-proof lawn, it's impekkable.
What is it called when a cowboy dies and comes back to life?
Reintarnation
My brother, who is an IT guy, got surgery done on his fingers. Now he can truly be called a tech-knuckle support guy.
The zookeeper was struggling to explain why two tropical birds were stuck together.
It was toucan fusing.
What happens if the Grim Reaper spikes the ball? You have to dig your own grave.
The reason you will see all the cows lie down when it starts to rain is because they want to keep each
udder dry.
What do you call a cow who’s just given birth?
De-calf-inated!
What did the bear say when he got a joke? He just bear-ly had a chuckle!
How do geologists like to relax? In rocking chairs, of course!
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