Is tea with additional salt
Salt-tea?
What do you call a goblin brigand?
A robgoblin.
What's the Difference Between Mechanical & Civil Engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons, civil engineers build targets.
Justice is a dish best served cold
Because otherwise it would be justwater.
Last night while cooking, my serving spoon's handle broke off. My husband walked in and said:
How very un-ladle-like!
Why do gardeners plant bulbs? So the worms can see where they’re going.
Did you know that humans started out as peas? That's why we're called homosa-pea-ns.
Did you hear about the man who sat next to his clone on the train?
He was beside himself.
What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
Decalfeinated.
just bought 5 slabs of San miguel, 10 sombreros and 25 tacos,
I'm Hispanic buying
What did the parmesan say when it broke up with the mozzarella?
Sorry but I am too mature for you.
What happened to the plane run by a computer?
It crashed.
What does a cheese say when you ask him to share a secret?
He cantal.
In Spain, you should not develop a program beyond 2.0.
Because that would be over dos.
My flamingo friends are always making me pay for dinner. I find that they can be real cheepskates.
What did the reindeer dad tell his son?
Deer to be different!
My coworkers brought me a bunch of cards to celebrate my birthday
Each one gave me one with a single word printed on it. The first said "extravagant", while the next one said "surplus". These were followed by cards that said "abundance", "excess", and "overflowing". Before I read any more I had to stop because I was overcome with emotion. It was all too much.
I like looking at a chart of all the chemical elements... periodically.
What was the name of the knight who made the round table of Sir Arthur perfect? He was a knight called Sir Cle.
I put a blanket on a small pepper
He said he felt a little chili
I thought I broke my leg when I tripped over a box of Kleenex last night
But the doctor said it's only tissue damage.
Aloha is a soft laugh.
Do you know how long dinosaurs should be fed? Exactly the same as short dinosaurs!
I'm investigating the tooth fairy, and it's going well...
I've managed to get a molar into her operation. I'm going to find out the tooth at the root of all this.
Are sasquatches superstitious?
Yes, they always knock on wood!
Her ex-husband had a heart attack after winning the lottery
But he'd neglected to update his will. She just couldn't bereave her luck!
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
A hippo is really heavy, but a Zippo is a little lighter.
I caught my sister click and post a picture of the soupy noodles yesterday. She was actively instagramen.
Why was the hard drive scared of the large file?
Because it was a terror-byte.
If this new covid vaccine works...
...It'll be a real shot in the arm for 2021.
Now I know why people love footballers – especially the goalies, they are real keepers.
An atom loses an electron...
It says, "man, I really gotta keep an ion them."
I beg your garden?
What is a deer’s favorite meal?
Deer-ner!
did you hear the one about the sheep in car wreck?
it was baaad.
People keep getting me clocks for my birthday.
Time and time again.
If you walk along a railroad track you may soon feel run down.
What do you call a flying cheese?
A curd of prey.
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
Piiig
What was wrong with the deer’s smile?
He had buck teeth.
What was the most common game played by Greek Gods?
Hydra and seek.
What's the name of a nurse who inserts plastic tubes into people?
Catherine.
What did they call mummy makers in ancient Egypt? Sarcophaguy.
What sign was posted in the witches' parking lot?
Violators will be toad.
Son: What happens when white blood cells fail to protect us from an infection?
Dad: Their effort goes in vein.
What do you call a pig that does a lot of charity work?
Philanthropig
The skeleton would love to see the latest horror flick, but he just doesn't have the guts for it.
I've invented a machine that prints money.
I programmed it to make coins, but for some reason it keeps printing dollar bills....
It makes no cents.
Why should you bake bacon on an asteroid on its way to Earth ?
It's meteor.
What do volleyball players like in bed? Kinky sets.
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