What did the queen bee say to the naughty bee? Beehive yourself.
Have you heard about the gorilla who got a name change?
Peaches the gorilla escaped from the zoo, but when they got him back they had to change it because it turns out he had become an Ape Re-caught.
What color sheet did the ghost wear on the 4th of July? Red, white, and boo.
What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?
Go to sweep, dear.
The retiring orchard gardener made a farewell peach that was really heart-warming.
Did you hear about the rabbit who refused to leave her house? She was having a bad hare day.
Why wouldn’t the ghost eat liver? He didn’t have the stomach for it.
I gave my wife that new gorilla glue chapstick...🦍💄
It left her speechless
Why are snakes hard to fool?
They have no legs to pull.
What do you call a snowman with a six pack?
An abdominal snowman.
What do you call an elephant with an aerial on his head?
An elephant-enna.
Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake? Because it's too hard to put them on the bottom!
Strawberries are considered to be the most bullied fruits because they're always getting picked on.
Why don’t fairies live under toadstools?
Because there’s not mushroom in the enchanted forest.
Does a water bed become bouncier when you fill it up with spring water?
Why can’t I ever win a game returning serve? Give me a break.
What is a dog’s favorite book?
Harry Paw-ter and the Sorcerer’s Bone.
I am pretty sure that the favourite soup of Dracula is the Scream of tomato.
Did you hear about the bread party? It’s scone be a lot of fun, and wheat love for you to join us.
I loved the soup that they served at the local restaurant yesterday. It was simply pho-nomenol.
What do you call a potato wearing glasses? A spec-tater!
What do get when you cross a chili pepper, steam shovel, and a Chihuahua? Hot, diggety dog.
Why did the wife divorce the baker?
Because he was much too kneady.
What goes ‘Cackle, cackle, cackle, bonk’?
A witch laughing her head off.
Why wasn't the geologist hungry? He lost his apatite.
How does a snake shoot something?
With a boa and arrow.
What do you call it when you plant a tree at each corner of a house?
A fourest.
What is the same shape and size as a sequoia tree, but weighs nothing at all? The tree’s shadow.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating in a pool?
Bob.
What do you call Tyrannosaurus rex when it wears a cowboy hat and boots ? Tyrannosaurus tex!
Why did the nurse need a red pen at work?
In case she needed to draw blood.
What a werewolf movie, talk about howling!
What has leaves, is green and a trunk? A houseplant heading on vacation.
What did one brain say to another?
I lobe you.
The only difference between a band teacher and a banned teacher
is what they were bangin
Why don't crabs give birthday presents?
Because they're just shellfish.
What is an evil dictator’s favorite type of weather?
A rain of terror.
A big black bug bit a big black dog on his big black nose!
What do you call an ant dipped in chocolate? Decad-ant.
Have you heard the joke about the giraffe’s neck?
Let me warn you, it’s a long one.
A cowboy thought he had 100 cows but when he counted them there were only 97
So he rounded them up.
Why are walnuts the best secret keepers? They walnut say anything to anyone.
Why did they stop giving the horse grass?
They wanted it to be less green.
The Doctor could tell right away the bucket was sick.
It was looking a bit pale.
A chemistry lab is like a big party.
Some drop the acid while others drop the base.
We did not understand what the mother turtle was saying because it was all in ridleys.
In the history class, the onion teachers taught the student onions that during the vegetable cold war, the Soviet Onion was a superpower.
Cutting my arms was the best descision I've ever made
Hands down.
My mother's sister can carry 50 times her own weight
She's my aunt
I saw this new movie about a mummy's new bandages. It was called The Emperor's New Cloths.
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