A strawberry feels most comfortable in its py-jam-as.
A few punny Wifi names you can use:
Wi-Fight the Inevitable
Chance the Router
The LAN Before Time
Silence of the LAN
I Believe Wi Can Fi
The Password is...
Click Here to Download
Get off my LAN
Router? I Hardly Knew Her
Definitely Not Wifi
Police are appealing to the man who stole all the soap from the supermarket
To come clean
What do you call it when a family passes down a turkey recipe?
Copy and basting.
I violated grammar rules, so I got punished with the death sentence.
Death.
My Buddhist friend just gave me a “Nirvana” scented perfume.
It smells like Teen Spirit.
What do winged horses attend in school? Pegclasses.
The bartender asked the pirate, "Is that a ship's wheel sticking out of your pants?"
The pirate replied"Aye! It's driving me nuts!"
How do skeleton’s get their mail delivered?
By the bony express.
Why are super loud sounds bad for your ears?
It hertz your eardrums.
Hello my name is lettuce, and I was going to the grocery store...
Ah, I’m getting ahead of myself
What do you call a row of 5 tow trucks?
A foot.
Why should you never do math with a tiger?
If you add 4+4 you're gonna get ate.
Owl always love you.
Why are dragons such good story tellers?
Because they have long tails.
My boss said to me, “You are the worst train operator ever. How many trains have you derailed in the past year?”
I said, “I’m not sure. It’s so hard to keep track.”
Why did the lemon fail its driving test?
Because it kept peeling out
What do goats eat?
Goatmeal.
Q. Why did the girl-illa win the beauty contest?
A. She was beast of show!
What is the best part of Valentine’s day?
The day after, when all the chocolate goes on sale.
What happened to the skier who was injured the the top of the peak?
It's been all downhill from there.
I got a parking ticket today and my husband just laughed.
He thought it was a fine joke.
How do you make a glow worm happy?
Cut off his tail, he’ll be de-lighted!
My favourite jokes are skeleton puns
Why? I find them humorous.
Why don’t clams give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish!
I accidentally sat on a medieval stained glass window at the antique store...
That was a royal pane in the ass.
You should check out that Egyptian antiquities store.
They have a mummy-back guarantee!
Why can’t minerals ever lie? They’re always in their pure form.
Why can’t a rooster ever get rich?
Because he works for chicken feed.
My computer wants to build a snowman.
It's frozen.
When the drivers ran out of fuel in the grassland, they refueled their tanks with grass-oline!
My friend didn't want to participate in the pick your new hairstyle conference but I convinced him...
He took part.
Within the labyrinthine bureaucracy prowls the deadly Adminotaur.
What do cats wear to bed? Paw-jamas.
What do you call a dog who can fight?
A Boxer.
I was she-shocked when my pet turtle died.
The worst pub I’ve ever been in was called The Fiddle.
It was a vile inn.
There was a stampede out on the dairy farm. It was udder chaos.
When I think about books, I touch my shelf.
The pecan is ready to come out of its’ shell and see the world.
What fish perform at the circus?
Clown fish!
What did the Pharaoh tell the man who tried to sell him a pyramid? "Well, that's the last thing I need."
If you do bowling and for some reason you can’t hear a pin drop, something could be wrong with your bowling.
The hiker hated the top of the mountain because it was all downhill from there!
I have been trying to write a new pizza joke…
But I can’t work out the delivery.
What did the banana do when it saw a gorilla? The banana split.
Why does a milking chair only have three legs?
The cow has the udder.
What’s the best tool to have when your heart sinks?
A Jack of Hearts.
Once upon a time, a knight hosted a live improvisational comedy show for everyone in town. It was known as 'Saturday Knight Live'.
Why did Iron Man sleep outside when it rained?
To get some rust.
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