I’m in pursuit of hoppiness.
What do you call a gorilla with no arms?
An ape-utee
I would say that life for the majority of people in the middle ages was rather peasant.
My wifi password is the cat's birthday month
Feb-paw-hairy
It is no wonder that Thomas Jefferson was thus named, his father was after Jefferdad.
Why do you never see koalas wearing shoes? Because they love going bearfoot.
What did the teenage rock say after failing its drive test? I don’t want to talc about it.
So a man walked up to me and placed some soil, plant seeds and fertilizer on my head.
It was annoying at first, but I think it grew on me.
What did the Australian Chess player say about the mouldy bread?
"Stalemate."
Two red blood cells met and fell in love, but alas, it was all in vein.
Bad puns are how eye roll.
What do you call a thirsty camel ?
A dry humper.
How do you work out how many rolls of toilet paper are in 4 packets of 16?
Multiply.
What does it take to be good at making Greek pottery?
You have to urn it.
What’s in the middle of a jellyfish?
A jelly button.
What is the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can’t tuna fish.
Did you hear about the astronaut who stepped in gum?
He got stuck in Orbit.
How do two flowers greet each other?
Hey bud, how’s it growing?
What does your little sibling and Q have in common?
They will always rely on U.
I got an email today saying I could win $10,000 in a fishing competition.
But I'm sure there's a catch involved somewhere.
What does an alcoholic flower say when they reach out for help?
Lilac the ability to stop.
What is a car’s favourite band?
Van Halen.
Did you hear Ireland is the fastest-growing country in Europe?
Its population is always Dublin.
Why do workers at the dairy factory always need a charger? Their milk is stuck at 1%.
What’s a llama’s favorite song?
Llama Chameleon.
Books are my kind of texts.
Anyone who is born in a car and dies outside is known as car born die oxide.
Why did one camel spit and stomp when the other camel stole its cheese?
Because they’re “dramadairies”
I scream, you scream, we all scream for icecream!
What do you get when you cross a ghoul and a vampire?
A hemogoblin.
What is a dog’s favorite vegetable? A collie flower.
What did a duck say to the comedian?
You quack me up.
"Some bunny needs vodka."
While rainbows must be many colors, they should always stay blue to themselves.
Why couldn't the troll catch any fish?
Because other people took the bait.
I caught my friend harassing some electricity. I told him it was an abuse of power.”
I like my wine like I like my medieval cities.
Fortified.
How do you measure a mosquito’s harddrive?
With bug bytes.
If fish lived on land, in which country would they live? Finland.
I told my friend a tree pun.
He was stumped.
How much dew does a dewdrop drop
If dewdrops do drop dew?
They do drop, they do
As do dewdrops drop
If dewdrops do drop dew.
Why shouldn’t you drive with a vampire?
He will drive you batty.
I only have ice for you!
Why don’t giraffes make good pets?
They’re too high maintenance.
Werewolves love similes and metafurs.
How did that avocado baker make bread?
With avoca-dough.
I've started a new band called "Blanket'
We're a cover band
What do you call a dog that’s been left outside in the cold?
A chili dog.
Have you ever been on a party boat?
It’s a Yacht of fun.
What did the teacher do with her student's report on the history of cheese?
She grated it.
Go to BabaMail
