Napoleon conquered too much lang because he had too little Toulouse.
Why is it harder for Orange Juice to slide across a floor than apple juice?
Pulp Friction.
What are a golfer’s favorite flowers?
Fore-get-me-nots.
I mashed a few mangoes, pineapples, melons, strawberries, and grapes into a pot. Served the mash to guests visiting my place.
Called the dish, Mea Pulpa.
My Physics teacher said I have no potential.
Joke's on her, I just bought a ladder.
Some people say Greece should stop using the euro as currency...
I think they're being over-drachmatic.
What do you call an alien spaceship that's leaking water?
A crying saucer.
Who is the most powerful potato? Darth Tater.
The winds of change started raining silver, copper, and gold coins.
I just broke my wife’s favorite perfume bottle, she’s gonna be fuming!
Why wasn't the bag boy allowed to work at the juice bar?
Because baggers cant be juicers.
I’ve been getting blitzed all game
A strawberry usually needs batteries when it runs out of juice.
Round and round the rugged rock the ragged rascal ran.
What do you call a person really crazy about the moon
A lunatic.
What do you get if you cross a bag of snakes and a cupboard of food?
Snakes and Larders.
Blue and orange are always polite and amicable with each other because they are complementary colors.
It’s really annoying being stuck behind a flamingo in a car. They literally never put their foot down.
It doesn’t help that my doctor keeps making fun of my broken leg. He’s just adding insult to injury.
I was caught smuggling a taco into the new star wars movie...
...they now call me Rogue Juan
Who’s a llama’s favorite composer?
Wolfgang Llamadeus Mozart.
What type of dog would be the best at portraying Tina Turner?
An Angela Bassett Hound.
I got lost in the mist today.
I didn’t have the foggiest idea where I was.
How many dinosaurs can fit in an empty box ? One . After that, the box isn't empty anymore!
Why was the horse a great editor?
She was very thorough bred.
Why did the sponge wake up early?
To get the moist out of the day.
I felt like telling you the joke about a strawberry jam on a piece of bread, but I won't. You might go around spreading it.
I'm snow bored.
Why do pumpkins never quarrel? Because they have no stomach for fighting.
My sister was diagnosed as color blind. The revelation really came out of the blue.
There was a kidnapping at school yesterday. Don’t worry, though - she woke up.
I'm fondue you, it's true
My son claims that he identifies as an ancient Greek string instrument.
Frankly, I think he's a lyre.
What do you call an elf who steals Christmas present wrapping from the wealthy and gives it to the poor?
Ribbon Hood.
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
What type of toilet paper does the math house have?
Multiply.
Remember to stop and smell the rosé.
What is a werewolf’s favorite tree?
A lu-pine.
Who has large antlers, a high voice and wears white gloves? Mickey Moose!
Justice is a dish best served cold
Because otherwise it would be justwater.
You snooze. You booze.
What is a DJs favorite vegetable?
A turnip.
What happens when no one comes to your birthday party?
You can have your cake and eat it too.
What do rabbits like to sing? “Every bunny was kung fu fighting.”
What's the difference between a strawberry and a Tyrannosaurus? The strawberry is red!
What happened to the baby chicken that misbehaved at school?
It was egg-spelled.
What’s the difference between a comma and a cat?
One has the paws before the claws, the other has the clause before the pause.
Where do ghosts play golf?
On a golf corpse.
What is the difference between a car and a bull?
A car only has one horn.
What do you find if you hang from a cherry tree for hours and hours? You find that your arms get sore.
Go to BabaMail
