The thirty-three thieves thought that they thrilled the throne throughout Thursday.
What do you call an otter with a carrot in each ear? Anything you want as he can't hear you!
Are you a flame? Because I think I found my perfect match.
Why did the cat want to learn to fly?
She wanted to try bats.
I rang the doctor on our way to the hospital, and said, "Quick! my pregnant wife is going into labor, what should I do?"
He said, "Is this her first child?"
I said, "Of course not, this is her husband!"
I whisper my sins to crows
So my parents can't hear me confess to a murder
Man wins award after he died eating appetizers at a Mediterranean restaurant
It was a Post-Hummus award.
The weather outside is snow joke.
What does a ghost wear when it’s raining outside?
Boooooooooooots.
When alligators need energy, they just slug down some gator-ade.
Rabbits are trying to eat away my old Toyota!
Mechanic said it could be car rot.
Green is the most relaxed color in the rainbow, it's so jade back.
What do you get if you cross a pig with a dinosaur ? Jurassic Pork!
What happens if you cross a night crawler with a telephone? You get Ringworm!
Living costs on the moon would probably be out of this world.
What do you call a pig who does karate?
A pork chop.
You know you are getting older when the candles don’t fit on the cake.
How do medieval cathedrals clean their mouths before bedtime?
They gargoyle.
A man with spine cancer walks up to his friend
His friend notices that the man is holding his back while walking up to him
His friend asks "What's wrong?".
The man says "My back is killing me".
What do you call a pig with a rash? Ham and eczema.
Have you wondered what made the strawberry such a smoothie? It is the yoghurt of course.
How do you organise a welcome party for an alien race?
You planet.
What does an onion say when you are upset because of it one day? It says, "I am sorry that I made you cry!"
I was walking along when I saw a pile of dog sh** on the side of the street, a little further on I saw an identical one.
That was a crazy deja poo.
In my grandparents time, an orange was considered a treat from Santa. Now kids want an apple.
Why can't Bill Clinton go scuba diving?
He won't inhale.
How was the lepre-con caught?
By an under-clover police officer!
I had a job drilling holes for water. It was well boring.
What does a trumpet and a baseball have in common? People cheer when you hit them with a bat.
I don't have a "Dad Bod"
I have a father figure.
Did you hear about the zombie who was expelled from school?
He kept buttering up his teacher!
Why do we tell actors to “break a leg”?
Because every play needs a cast.
What do you call a dinosaur that's a noisy sleeper? A Bronto-snorus.
Did you hear about the Pharaoh who was lying in the wrong coffin? He made a grave mistake.
I wanted to tell a knife joke to my friend
But it just won't cut it.
What did the nuclear physicist have for lunch?
Fission Chips.
What happens when you go to the bathroom in France?
European!
In the night, a visitor came past my igloo. It was a yeti!
Not sure who left the other cooler, but thanks!
"Having a good hare day."
Ya know, I was supposed to be a doctor.
But I just didn’t have the patience.
I told my boyfriend I'd missed the bus.
He asked me what I was trying to hit it with.
What do you get when you cross a "bad idea for using fur" with 86 billion neurons?
A hare-brained idea.
When someone accidentally stepped on his foot, the wolf screamed, Aoooowwwww!
Ringo, John snd George walked into an electric guitar shop...
They were less Paul.
Why don’t fish play basketball?
Because they're afraid of the net.
What happens when you look up geology jokes? You know you've hit rock bottom!
Q. How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Two, but it has to be a really BIG light bulb.
Where do wasps go on holiday?
Stingapore.
My wife threw a block of cheddar at my head
I said "Well that's mature."
What do two cherries say when they get married? I promise to cherry-ish you forever.
Go to BabaMail
