What’s an apple’s favorite restaurant? Applebee’s.
Why don’t dolphin do well on school tests?
Because they work below C-Level!
Dear Turkey, don't worry... they only love us for our breasts too. Sincerely, all women.
Why did the nut go to the bank?
To cashew its check.
“What do you call an elf that runs away from Santa’s Workshop? A rebel without a Claus.”
Why did the tiger eat the tightrope walker?
It wanted a balanced diet.
Their soccer team and the US navy had one thing in common, they both spent over $50 million on a sub.
I love having dinner in a local restaurant. It has a soup-erb speciality that mixes soup and herbs.
What do you call a sad pup?
A mellon collie
Grasshoppers do not fancy soccer matches because most of them prefer cricket matches.
What is a gorillas second favourite fruit to eat behind bananas?=
Ape-ricots
What do you call a skeleton who lies?
A phoney-ba-boney.
What do you call someone who lost her Marital arts tournament?
Divorced.
How do two rival forests get along? They sign a peace tree-ty!
What’s a nut’s favorite scary movie?
The Creature from the Black Legume.
What is a dog’s favorite movie series?
Fifty shades of Greyhound.
There was a group of ants that always went on parties together, but one smelled way worse than the others.
He was de odor ant.
A Viking walked into a bar.
The bartender asked, Why the long ship?
What do you call a boat full of high school graduates
A scholarship.
What did the salad lover say to his girlfriend?
You will Romaine in my heart forever ?
What genre are national anthems?
Country.
What do you call a pig that practices karate? A pork chop!”
"Bone to be wild."
What is the favorite bread of a crow? Crow-issant.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.
What do you call a fly with no Wings?
A walk.
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
My weekend is fully booked.
"You focaccia bag, crumb back and get it."
I told my friend that our old school friend is coming to attend St Patrick's feast. She was surprised. She asked, "O'Reilly?"
Why shouldn’t you drive with a vampire?
He will drive you batty.
Zombies are dead but they live with it.
My roommate keeps taking my water bottle out of the refrigerator.
It's not cool man.
Why does no one react when the Queen farts?
Because it’s a Noble Gas!
What did the LEFT Stereo Speaker say to the RIGHT, as he was being taken away for repairs
AUDIOS!
I've already heard seven cancer puns today.
If I hear tumor it's gonna benign.
What do you call one day below freezing and the next day at 70 degrees?
“It’s snowing today, but water you doing tomorrow?”
Her: "Buffalo meat is delicious. What are they made of? Beef?"
Me: "No... They're made of buff."
Young Billy had to mail a loaf of bread at the toast office today.
In the dark ages, the knights had to attend a special type of school. It was the Knight School.
What is ice cream’s favorite day of the week?
Sundae.
What is a bunny’s motto? Don’t be mad, be hoppy!
"I like a man that can pull off facial hair."
I think your supposed to use a razor.
Which type of nut goes to outer space?
An astro-nut
I think I found my perfect match
Knife and a fork bottle and a cork
that is the way you spell New York.
Chicken in the car and the car can go,
that is the way you spell Chicago.
What is it called when a tree has back problems?
ScoliOAKsis
That crazy little sun of a beach.
I saw a cow on fire ther dayand so I put it out.
Guess you could call it a rare experience.
Why did the hamburger dress up as a computer? Because he wanted to be a Big Mac.
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