Did you hear about the Elf booted from the chorus?
He couldn't Fa-la-la-la-long.
How do Santa’s elves go to different floors in the North Pole toy workshop? They use the elf-avator!
What do elves eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes!
How many elves does it take to change a light bulb?
Ten! One to change the light bulb and nine to stand on each other's shoulders!
Why did Santa stop smoking a pipe?
It was bad for his elf!
What’s the self-care mantra of elves after the holiday season ends?
“Treat yo’elf.”
Whose music do elves like the most?
Elf-is Presley.
"Santa’s pretty stelfy going down the chimney, don’t you think?" said one elf to another.
Why shouldn't you feed elves shellfish?
It makes them crabby!
What do elves learn when they go to school?
The elf-abet.
An overworked elf walks into a bar the day before Christmas and orders a beer. "Hey look, everyone! It's an elf!" the bartender exclaims. "I'm sorry, but that phrase is now insensitive and politically incorrect," the elf says. "We prefer to be called subordinate clauses."
If an elf can’t do something right now, how do they handle it?
Shelf it for later.
What do elves use in the kitchen when they are cooking?
Kitchen u-tinsels!
What do they call a wild elf in Texas?
Gnome on the range!
Did you hear about the new holistic elf doctor?
He's a gnome-opath!
What kind of bread do elves use to make sandwiches?
Why shortbread of course!
What kind of motorbike do elves ride to work?
A Holly Davidson!
Why did the elf use a duck to wake him on Christmas morning?
So he could be up at the quack of dawn!
What happens if an elf catches you being naughty?
Yule be sorry!
Where do elves vote?
The North Poll.
What happens to elves who misbehave?
They get the sack.
What type of elf has the most books?
A bookshelf.
What do you call an elf who steals Christmas present wrapping from the wealthy and gives it to the poor?
Ribbon Hood.
What kind of money do elves always use?
Jingle bills!
Did you hear about the elf that quit Santa's workshop?
He was a rebel without a Claus.