What’s the self-care mantra of elves after the holiday season ends?
“Treat yo’elf.”
What would you call an elf with lots of money?
W-elfy!
If an elf can’t do something right now, how do they handle it?
Shelf it for later.
What goes inside elves’ pointy shoes?
Their mistletoes.
We've all heard about elf on a shelf, but have you ever heard of troll on a poll?
When the elves are clapping for their boss, we call it Santapplause.
Did you hear about the elf who was a little hard of hearing?
She had to keep saying "Sleigh, what?"
What do elves use in the kitchen when they are cooking?
Kitchen u-tinsels!
What happens if an elf catches you being naughty?
Yule be sorry!
Did you hear about the new holistic elf doctor?
He's a gnome-opath!
Where do elves vote?
The North Poll.
What kind of money do elves use?
Cold cash!
Knock knock
Who's there?
Elf
Elf who?
Elf me wrap this present!
Why are elves so cold at Christmas?
Because it's in Decembrrrrr.
"Santa’s pretty stelfy going down the chimney, don’t you think?" said one elf to another.
Where does an elf family stay when on vacation?
At a Ho-ho-ho-tel!
What language do they teach at Elf School?
North Polish!
Why do Santa’s helpers go to therapy?
To help their elf esteem.
What type of elf has the most books?
A bookshelf.
Elves usually make fantastic listeners since they happen to be all ears.
Whose music do elves like the most?
Elf-is Presley.
Who did all this shopping? Me, my elf, and I!
"Don’t be elfish," said momma elf to her son. "Share with your sister."
What kind of music do elves listen to?
Wrap music.
What kind of sandwich does Kissy the Elf like for lunch?
A wrap!
What did the elf tell its friends when they were traveling?
"Let’s take an elfie."
What does Santa use after trimming his beard?
Elftershave.
What do you call an elf that joins the 11 other elves in Santa’s workshop?
The twelf!
What happens to elves who misbehave?
They get the sack.
What do you call an elf who hasn’t had a date in two years or more?
Elf on the shelf.
What do you call an elf who won’t share?
Elfish.
Where do elves go to get famous?
Holly-wood.
What do they call a wild elf in Texas?
Gnome on the range!
How many elves does it take to change a light bulb?
Ten! One to change the light bulb and nine to stand on each other's shoulders!
How do elves stay so skinny?
Elfy eating!
What kind of money do elves always use?
Jingle bills!
Why did some of the elves spell Christmas as N-O-E? Because Santa said No L!
An overworked elf walks into a bar the day before Christmas and orders a beer. "Hey look, everyone! It's an elf!" the bartender exclaims. "I'm sorry, but that phrase is now insensitive and politically incorrect," the elf says. "We prefer to be called subordinate clauses."
Why did the elf use a duck to wake him on Christmas morning?
So he could be up at the quack of dawn!
Did you hear about the elf that quit Santa's workshop?
He was a rebel without a Claus.
Why shouldn't you feed elves shellfish?
It makes them crabby!
Why did the dyslexic elf get fired?
He kept writing "From Satan" on children's New Year presents.
What kind of motorbike do elves ride to work?
A Holly Davidson!
What kind of bread do elves use to make sandwiches?
Why shortbread of course!
Why did Santa stop smoking a pipe?
It was bad for his elf!
What kind of pictures do elves love to paint?
Elf-portraits!
Did you hear about the Elf booted from the chorus?
He couldn't Fa-la-la-la-long.
How do Santa’s elves go to different floors in the North Pole toy workshop? They use the elf-avator!
What do elves eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes!
What do you call an elf who steals Christmas present wrapping from the wealthy and gives it to the poor?
Ribbon Hood.
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