We've all heard about elf on a shelf, but have you ever heard of troll on a poll?
What did the elf tell its friends when they were traveling?
"Let’s take an elfie."
Whose music do elves like the most?
Elf-is Presley.
Why shouldn't you feed elves shellfish?
It makes them crabby!
What would you call an elf with lots of money?
W-elfy!
Did you hear about the elf who was a little hard of hearing?
She had to keep saying "Sleigh, what?"
What kind of sandwich does Kissy the Elf like for lunch?
A wrap!
What kind of music do elves listen to?
Wrap music.
Where does an elf family stay when on vacation?
At a Ho-ho-ho-tel!
What happens to elves who misbehave?
They get the sack.
Why are elves so cold at Christmas?
Because it's in Decembrrrrr.
What do elves eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes!
How many elves does it take to change a light bulb?
Ten! One to change the light bulb and nine to stand on each other's shoulders!
"Don’t be elfish," said momma elf to her son. "Share with your sister."
Who did all this shopping? Me, my elf, and I!
What’s the self-care mantra of elves after the holiday season ends?
“Treat yo’elf.”
What do elves use in the kitchen when they are cooking?
Kitchen u-tinsels!
What does Santa use after trimming his beard?
Elftershave.
What kind of elf lives in a soda can?
A Sprite!
Where do elves vote?
The North Poll.
What happens if an elf catches you being naughty?
Yule be sorry!
Did you hear about the new holistic elf doctor?
He's a gnome-opath!
Why did some of the elves spell Christmas as N-O-E? Because Santa said No L!
"Santa’s pretty stelfy going down the chimney, don’t you think?" said one elf to another.
What kind of money do elves use?
Cold cash!
What kind of money do elves always use?
Jingle bills!
What kind of bread do elves use to make sandwiches?
Why shortbread of course!
What kind of motorbike do elves ride to work?
A Holly Davidson!
If an elf can’t do something right now, how do they handle it?
Shelf it for later.
What did the mama elf say to her mischievous child?
“Stop elvesdropping on Santa!”
What kind of pictures do elves love to paint?
Elf-portraits!
An overworked elf walks into a bar the day before Christmas and orders a beer. "Hey look, everyone! It's an elf!" the bartender exclaims. "I'm sorry, but that phrase is now insensitive and politically incorrect," the elf says. "We prefer to be called subordinate clauses."
What do elves learn when they go to school?
The elf-abet.
What goes inside elves’ pointy shoes?
Their mistletoes.
Why did Santa stop smoking a pipe?
It was bad for his elf!
Elves usually make fantastic listeners since they happen to be all ears.
Knock knock
Who's there?
Elf
Elf who?
Elf me wrap this present!
How do elves stay so skinny?
Elfy eating!
What is an elf’s favorite band?
The Pixies.
What do you call an elf that joins the 11 other elves in Santa’s workshop?
The twelf!
Did you hear about the Elf booted from the chorus?
He couldn't Fa-la-la-la-long.
Where do elves go to get famous?
Holly-wood.
Why did the elf use a duck to wake him on Christmas morning?
So he could be up at the quack of dawn!
Why do Santa’s helpers go to therapy?
To help their elf esteem.
Did you hear about the elf that quit Santa's workshop?
He was a rebel without a Claus.
What lives at the North Pole and is green, white, and red all over?
A sunburned elf!
How do Santa’s elves go to different floors in the North Pole toy workshop? They use the elf-avator!
What type of elf has the most books?
A bookshelf.
What do you call an elf who hasn’t had a date in two years or more?
Elf on the shelf.
When the elves are clapping for their boss, we call it Santapplause.
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