What language do they teach at Elf School?
North Polish!
What kind of sandwich does Kissy the Elf like for lunch?
A wrap!
What’s the self-care mantra of elves after the holiday season ends?
“Treat yo’elf.”
What lives at the North Pole and is green, white, and red all over?
A sunburned elf!
What do elves use in the kitchen when they are cooking?
Kitchen u-tinsels!
Why do Santa’s helpers go to therapy?
To help their elf esteem.
Did you hear about the elf that quit Santa's workshop?
He was a rebel without a Claus.
What kind of money do elves use?
Cold cash!
Why did Santa stop smoking a pipe?
It was bad for his elf!
We've all heard about elf on a shelf, but have you ever heard of troll on a poll?
What kind of money do elves always use?
Jingle bills!
"Santa’s pretty stelfy going down the chimney, don’t you think?" said one elf to another.
Where does an elf family stay when on vacation?
At a Ho-ho-ho-tel!
What do you call an elf that joins the 11 other elves in Santa’s workshop?
The twelf!
Did you hear about the new holistic elf doctor?
He's a gnome-opath!
Did you hear about the Elf booted from the chorus?
He couldn't Fa-la-la-la-long.
What do you call an elf who steals Christmas present wrapping from the wealthy and gives it to the poor?
Ribbon Hood.
What do you call an elf who hasn’t had a date in two years or more?
Elf on the shelf.
If an elf can’t do something right now, how do they handle it?
Shelf it for later.
What kind of elf lives in a soda can?
A Sprite!
Whose music do elves like the most?
Elf-is Presley.
What is an elf’s favorite band?
The Pixies.
How do Santa’s elves go to different floors in the North Pole toy workshop? They use the elf-avator!
Did you hear about the elf who was a little hard of hearing?
She had to keep saying "Sleigh, what?"
What do elves eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes!
Where do elves vote?
The North Poll.
Why did the elf use a duck to wake him on Christmas morning?
So he could be up at the quack of dawn!
What kind of pictures do elves love to paint?
Elf-portraits!
What goes inside elves’ pointy shoes?
Their mistletoes.
When the elves are clapping for their boss, we call it Santapplause.
Elves usually make fantastic listeners since they happen to be all ears.
What type of elf has the most books?
A bookshelf.
What kind of music do elves listen to?
Wrap music.
Why did the dyslexic elf get fired?
He kept writing "From Satan" on children's New Year presents.
What do you call an elf who won’t share?
Elfish.
What happens to elves who misbehave?
They get the sack.
What do they call a wild elf in Texas?
Gnome on the range!
Why did some of the elves spell Christmas as N-O-E? Because Santa said No L!
How many elves does it take to change a light bulb?
Ten! One to change the light bulb and nine to stand on each other's shoulders!
Where do elves go to get famous?
Holly-wood.
An overworked elf walks into a bar the day before Christmas and orders a beer. "Hey look, everyone! It's an elf!" the bartender exclaims. "I'm sorry, but that phrase is now insensitive and politically incorrect," the elf says. "We prefer to be called subordinate clauses."
What kind of motorbike do elves ride to work?
A Holly Davidson!
"Don’t be elfish," said momma elf to her son. "Share with your sister."
What happens if an elf catches you being naughty?
Yule be sorry!
What did the elf tell its friends when they were traveling?
"Let’s take an elfie."
What does Santa use after trimming his beard?
Elftershave.
Knock knock
Who's there?
Elf
Elf who?
Elf me wrap this present!
Who did all this shopping? Me, my elf, and I!
What kind of bread do elves use to make sandwiches?
Why shortbread of course!
Why shouldn't you feed elves shellfish?
It makes them crabby!
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