Whose music do elves like the most?
Elf-is Presley.
What kind of motorbike do elves ride to work?
A Holly Davidson!
What kind of money do elves always use?
Jingle bills!
"Santa’s pretty stelfy going down the chimney, don’t you think?" said one elf to another.
Who did all this shopping? Me, my elf, and I!
What do elves learn when they go to school?
The elf-abet.
If an elf can’t do something right now, how do they handle it?
Shelf it for later.
An overworked elf walks into a bar the day before Christmas and orders a beer. "Hey look, everyone! It's an elf!" the bartender exclaims. "I'm sorry, but that phrase is now insensitive and politically incorrect," the elf says. "We prefer to be called subordinate clauses."
What do elves eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes!
What language do they teach at Elf School?
North Polish!
When the elves are clapping for their boss, we call it Santapplause.
What did the mama elf say to her mischievous child?
“Stop elvesdropping on Santa!”
Where do elves go to get famous?
Holly-wood.
What kind of elf lives in a soda can?
A Sprite!
Knock knock
Who's there?
Elf
Elf who?
Elf me wrap this present!
What do they call a wild elf in Texas?
Gnome on the range!
Why did some of the elves spell Christmas as N-O-E? Because Santa said No L!
What do you call an elf who won’t share?
Elfish.
What is an elf’s favorite band?
The Pixies.
What would you call an elf with lots of money?
W-elfy!
How many elves does it take to change a light bulb?
Ten! One to change the light bulb and nine to stand on each other's shoulders!
What happens if an elf catches you being naughty?
Yule be sorry!
Elves usually make fantastic listeners since they happen to be all ears.
What kind of music do elves listen to?
Wrap music.
What do you call an elf who steals Christmas present wrapping from the wealthy and gives it to the poor?
Ribbon Hood.
Why do Santa’s helpers go to therapy?
To help their elf esteem.
Did you hear about the new holistic elf doctor?
He's a gnome-opath!
Why are elves so cold at Christmas?
Because it's in Decembrrrrr.
How do elves stay so skinny?
Elfy eating!
What kind of bread do elves use to make sandwiches?
Why shortbread of course!
"Don’t be elfish," said momma elf to her son. "Share with your sister."
Why did the elf use a duck to wake him on Christmas morning?
So he could be up at the quack of dawn!
What do you call an elf who hasn’t had a date in two years or more?
Elf on the shelf.
What kind of sandwich does Kissy the Elf like for lunch?
A wrap!
What does Santa use after trimming his beard?
Elftershave.
How do Santa’s elves go to different floors in the North Pole toy workshop? They use the elf-avator!
Did you hear about the elf who was a little hard of hearing?
She had to keep saying "Sleigh, what?"
What kind of pictures do elves love to paint?
Elf-portraits!
Why did Santa stop smoking a pipe?
It was bad for his elf!
What do you call an elf that joins the 11 other elves in Santa’s workshop?
The twelf!
What do elves use in the kitchen when they are cooking?
Kitchen u-tinsels!
What lives at the North Pole and is green, white, and red all over?
A sunburned elf!
What’s the self-care mantra of elves after the holiday season ends?
“Treat yo’elf.”
What kind of money do elves use?
Cold cash!
What type of elf has the most books?
A bookshelf.
Why shouldn't you feed elves shellfish?
It makes them crabby!
Did you hear about the Elf booted from the chorus?
He couldn't Fa-la-la-la-long.
We've all heard about elf on a shelf, but have you ever heard of troll on a poll?
Where do elves vote?
The North Poll.
Why did the dyslexic elf get fired?
He kept writing "From Satan" on children's New Year presents.
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