What do elves learn when they go to school?
The elf-abet.
What did the elf tell its friends when they were traveling?
"Let’s take an elfie."
Why did the dyslexic elf get fired?
He kept writing "From Satan" on children's New Year presents.
What would you call an elf with lots of money?
W-elfy!
What kind of sandwich does Kissy the Elf like for lunch?
A wrap!
What type of elf has the most books?
A bookshelf.
What do you call an elf who steals Christmas present wrapping from the wealthy and gives it to the poor?
Ribbon Hood.
Did you hear about the new holistic elf doctor?
He's a gnome-opath!
If an elf can’t do something right now, how do they handle it?
Shelf it for later.
What is an elf’s favorite band?
The Pixies.
Did you hear about the elf who was a little hard of hearing?
She had to keep saying "Sleigh, what?"
How do elves stay so skinny?
Elfy eating!
Why do Santa’s helpers go to therapy?
To help their elf esteem.
Did you hear about the elf that quit Santa's workshop?
He was a rebel without a Claus.
What kind of pictures do elves love to paint?
Elf-portraits!
What do elves eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes!
What kind of music do elves listen to?
Wrap music.
What kind of bread do elves use to make sandwiches?
Why shortbread of course!
Whose music do elves like the most?
Elf-is Presley.
"Don’t be elfish," said momma elf to her son. "Share with your sister."
What kind of money do elves use?
Cold cash!
Why did some of the elves spell Christmas as N-O-E? Because Santa said No L!
What did the mama elf say to her mischievous child?
“Stop elvesdropping on Santa!”
What goes inside elves’ pointy shoes?
Their mistletoes.
An overworked elf walks into a bar the day before Christmas and orders a beer. "Hey look, everyone! It's an elf!" the bartender exclaims. "I'm sorry, but that phrase is now insensitive and politically incorrect," the elf says. "We prefer to be called subordinate clauses."
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