I almost got into a fight with a bendy straw.
When I put it in my drink, it tried to flex on me.
How do you call clothings for spoons?
Silverwear
Why did the fork feel kinky near the spoon?
Because it was a tease spoon.
Why didn’t the cheese want to get sliced?
It had grater plans.
When you lick the icing off a spoon are you defrosting it?
I used to work at a cutlery store, but I quit
No more Mr. Knife guy.
Why does the superhero shred his cheese?
For the grater good.
Cube cheese is good, and slices are fine...
But personally I think shredded is grater.
How do you make cheese even better?
You use a cheese grater of course!
Why were the utensils stuck together?
They were spooning.
When I was a student, I was worried that my housemates would be annoyed if I ran off with some of their kitchen utemsils. But that was a whisk I was willing to take.
What's the best type of spoon?
I'll tell you ladle.
My eating utensils were forged from forged steel, so don't mess with me or I'll fork you up.
How do you call a straw used for drinking orangeade?
Fantastick.
A tuning fork is, essentially, a pitch fork.
I always remember to eat my soup with a spoon.
It’s un-fork-edible.
The other day a man tried to mug me with a blunt knife...
It was pointless.
What did the plate say to the fork? Lunch is on me.
I was walking home last night through the park, when this scary looking kid drew a knife on me...
The little brat used a permanent marker and it was a bastard to wash it off.
Did you hear about the spoon? It caused quite a stir!
What do Santa’s elves cook with in the kitchen?
A u-tinsel.
When whisking something, do it with caution.
It’s whisky business.
Got a puncture in my tyre the other day. Think it was at the fork in the road.
I ate a spoon of food color...
Now i'm dying inside.
My friend showed me how he keeps his expensive butcher knife sharp.
I thought it was pretty cleaver.
A piece of cheese sees his cheese friend looking a little disheveled. “Are you OK?” he asks.
“I’ve felt grater”, his friend coughed.
My wife was scratching the glass jar with a metal spoon...
It was jarring!!!
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