I bought a complete set of kitchen utensils off an infomercial. I was frustrated that there was nothing to mix my eggs...
...but to be fair, they did say it was whisk-free offer.
I was walking home last night through the park, when this scary looking kid drew a knife on me...
The little brat used a permanent marker and it was a bastard to wash it off.
Why was the cheese happy in the kitchen?
He thought he was grater than everyone else.
I heard this pun about a cheese grater the other day...
It was a grate joke.
My wife wants to start selling kitchenware online.
I just don't see it panning out.
If you try to stretch a fork to see if it breaks...
Are you testing its utensil strength?
Why were the utensils stuck together?
They were spooning.
I've decided to stop being a fork and become a spoon.
I just woke up one day and didn't see the point anymore.
Had to my dinner with just a knife and spoon last night...
It wasn't easy, but that's a fork-gone conclusion.
why did the spoon show up dressed as a knife ?
Invitation said to look sharp.
What does a straw and a view have in common?
You can get a paper straw and you can also get pay per view.
How do you call a straw used for drinking orangeade?
Fantastick.
Asked my friend why a knife is his favourite utensil.
He said “a spoon and a fork just don’t cut it”.
I'm going around with a bent knife, so that when I'm short on time, I can cut corners.
What did the cutlery maker say when he lost some metal?
Silverware?!
Do you know why the boy didn't want to become a cheese slicer like his brother?
He wanted to become a grater man.
Did you hear about the spoon? It caused quite a stir!
What's the best type of spoon?
I'll tell you ladle.
My friend showed me how he keeps his expensive butcher knife sharp.
I thought it was pretty cleaver.
Who will lead the army of drawing utensils?
The ruler.
So my brother is grating cheese for a dip. He looks up and says,
"I'm the gratest."
My friend has an excellent nose for wine...
It's shaped like a corkscrew!
Lost my bread knife the other day..
I'm absolutely gutted...we've been through thick and thin
What happened to the dull knife's application?
It was turned down, he just couldn't make the cut.
Yesterday, I bought my wife a cheese grater to use on cheddar and parmesan, both of which I hate.
It was the grater of two evils.
I found a cutlery dispenser that doesn’t work properly
No forks were given.
The other day a man tried to mug me with a blunt knife...
It was pointless.
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