Why were the utensils stuck together?
They were spooning.
I watched an eclipse through my colander, now I’ve strained my eyes.
My friend has an excellent nose for wine...
It's shaped like a corkscrew!
When whisking something, do it with caution.
It’s whisky business.
I’ve been experimenting with attaching various kitchen utensils to my power drill
I got mixed results.
I used to work at a cutlery store, but I quit
No more Mr. Knife guy.
When you lick the icing off a spoon are you defrosting it?
Why does the superhero shred his cheese?
For the grater good.
What does a straw and a view have in common?
You can get a paper straw and you can also get pay per view.
A piece of cheese sees his cheese friend looking a little disheveled. “Are you OK?” he asks.
“I’ve felt grater”, his friend coughed.
I'm going around with a bent knife, so that when I'm short on time, I can cut corners.
What did the cake say to start the fight with the fork?
You want a piece of me?
My wife wants to start selling kitchenware online.
I just don't see it panning out.
Did you hear about the new WiFi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
What do you call a collection of bones made out of kitchenware?
A skillet-ton.
I downloaded a colander app instead of a calendar and now my battery keeps draining.
I found a cutlery dispenser that doesn’t work properly
No forks were given.
So my brother is grating cheese for a dip. He looks up and says,
"I'm the gratest."
My friend just got 3 kittens named Spoon, Fork, and Knife. When I asked why those names, they smiled and said, "Isn't it obvious?"
"They're catlery"
Which drawing utensil is the fastest?
The e-racer.
What do Santa’s elves cook with in the kitchen?
A u-tinsel.
My eating utensils were forged from forged steel, so don't mess with me or I'll fork you up.
How do you call a straw used for drinking orangeade?
Fantastick.
I really hate straws.
They suck.
How do you call clothings for spoons?
Silverwear
Asked my friend why a knife is his favourite utensil.
He said “a spoon and a fork just don’t cut it”.
A kitchen knife and fork had a race. Who won? Neither, it ended in a drawer.
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