Did you hear about the journalist who became a sterling silver spoon salesman?
He finally found the scoop he was looking for.
I used to work at a cutlery store, but I quit
No more Mr. Knife guy.
My friend has an excellent nose for wine...
It's shaped like a corkscrew!
Had to my dinner with just a knife and spoon last night...
It wasn't easy, but that's a fork-gone conclusion.
Took my giant spoon to my cooking class last night. It caused quite a stir.
Did you hear about the spoon? It caused quite a stir!
A piece of cheese sees his cheese friend looking a little disheveled. “Are you OK?” he asks.
“I’ve felt grater”, his friend coughed.
"This is the last straw!"
I shouted to my wife as I put it in my drink...
My wife was scratching the glass jar with a metal spoon...
It was jarring!!!
I was washing the dishes today and got so frustrated I screamed into a collander.
I think I strained my voice.
My friend showed me how he keeps his expensive butcher knife sharp.
I thought it was pretty cleaver.
The other day a man tried to mug me with a blunt knife...
It was pointless.
I forgot my fork so tried to eat my lunch with just a spoon. It was pointless.
What did the cutlery maker say when he lost some metal?
Silverware?!
I bought a complete set of kitchen utensils off an infomercial. I was frustrated that there was nothing to mix my eggs...
...but to be fair, they did say it was whisk-free offer.
Did you know cutlery scams require the most patience?
You've got to play the long prong.
Last night while cooking, my serving spoon's handle broke off. My husband walked in and said:
How very un-ladle-like!
What's the best type of spoon?
I'll tell you ladle.
I really hate straws.
They suck.
Why was the cheese happy in the kitchen?
He thought he was grater than everyone else.
Which drawing utensil is the fastest?
The e-racer.
My wife wants to start selling kitchenware online.
I just don't see it panning out.
How do you call a straw used for drinking orangeade?
Fantastick.
What do you call a knife that cuts 4 loaves of Irish bread at once?
A four loaf cleaver!
What did the cake say to start the fight with the fork?
You want a piece of me?
I found my friend using a round-edged knife to cut his steak
it wasn't really sharp of him.
I've decided to stop being a fork and become a spoon.
I just woke up one day and didn't see the point anymore.
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