My friend just got 3 kittens named Spoon, Fork, and Knife. When I asked why those names, they smiled and said, "Isn't it obvious?"
"They're catlery"
How do you call clothings for spoons?
Silverwear
So my brother is grating cheese for a dip. He looks up and says,
"I'm the gratest."
Did you hear about the spoon? It caused quite a stir!
What do Santa’s elves cook with in the kitchen?
A u-tinsel.
I was walking home last night through the park, when this scary looking kid drew a knife on me...
The little brat used a permanent marker and it was a bastard to wash it off.
I downloaded a colander app instead of a calendar and now my battery keeps draining.
I was on the road yesterday with my metal detector looking for some cutlery....
I found plenty of spoons and knives but I didn't stop, until I hit a fork in the road.
Cube cheese is good, and slices are fine...
But personally I think shredded is grater.
Took my giant spoon to my cooking class last night. It caused quite a stir.
Why can't we make jokes about the cutlery incident?
It's too spoon.
Someone took all my straw
What a Hay-nous act!
One of my kitchen utensils seems to be playing classical music.
Think it’s the Chopin board.
I found my friend using a round-edged knife to cut his steak
it wasn't really sharp of him.
My friend has an excellent nose for wine...
It's shaped like a corkscrew!
A kitchen knife and fork had a race. Who won? Neither, it ended in a drawer.
Someone stole my cutlery set, but we were unable to identify the thief
It was stainless steel.
How do Chinese people make cutlery?
They chopsticks.
The other day a man tried to mug me with a blunt knife...
It was pointless.
Do you know why the boy didn't want to become a cheese slicer like his brother?
He wanted to become a grater man.
How do you call a straw used for drinking orangeade?
Fantastick.
Lost my bread knife the other day..
I'm absolutely gutted...we've been through thick and thin
Asked my friend why a knife is his favourite utensil.
He said “a spoon and a fork just don’t cut it”.
What happened to the dull knife's application?
It was turned down, he just couldn't make the cut.
Last night while cooking, my serving spoon's handle broke off. My husband walked in and said:
How very un-ladle-like!
I found a cutlery dispenser that doesn’t work properly
No forks were given.
Why didn’t the cheese want to get sliced?
It had grater plans.
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