Had to my dinner with just a knife and spoon last night...
It wasn't easy, but that's a fork-gone conclusion.
why did the spoon show up dressed as a knife ?
Invitation said to look sharp.
Why was the cheese happy in the kitchen?
He thought he was grater than everyone else.
I was washing the dishes today and got so frustrated I screamed into a collander.
I think I strained my voice.
My friend has an excellent nose for wine...
It's shaped like a corkscrew!
Asked my friend why a knife is his favourite utensil.
He said “a spoon and a fork just don’t cut it”.
I watched an eclipse through my colander, now I’ve strained my eyes.
"This is the last straw!"
I shouted to my wife as I put it in my drink...
I used to work at a cutlery store, but I quit
No more Mr. Knife guy.
Why can't you use a wooden spoon in a Teflon pan?
Because its non stick.
Why did the fork feel kinky near the spoon?
Because it was a tease spoon.
Did you hear about the journalist who became a sterling silver spoon salesman?
He finally found the scoop he was looking for.
I downloaded a colander app instead of a calendar and now my battery keeps draining.
Lost my bread knife the other day..
I'm absolutely gutted...we've been through thick and thin
How do you make cheese even better?
You use a cheese grater of course!
When my doc said that my kitchenware diet was bad for my bowels, I crapped my pans.
What did the cake say to start the fight with the fork?
You want a piece of me?
Did you hear about the spoon? It caused quite a stir!
I ate a spoon of food color...
Now i'm dying inside.
I lost my kid in the kitchenware section of Ikea today.
It was a pans labyrinth.
Someone stole my cutlery set, but we were unable to identify the thief
It was stainless steel.
What did the plate say to the fork? Lunch is on me.
Do you know why the boy didn't want to become a cheese slicer like his brother?
He wanted to become a grater man.
I was on the road yesterday with my metal detector looking for some cutlery....
I found plenty of spoons and knives but I didn't stop, until I hit a fork in the road.
Yesterday, I bought my wife a cheese grater to use on cheddar and parmesan, both of which I hate.
It was the grater of two evils.
A tuning fork is, essentially, a pitch fork.
I bought a complete set of kitchen utensils off an infomercial. I was frustrated that there was nothing to mix my eggs...
...but to be fair, they did say it was whisk-free offer.
I started carrying a knife after an attempted mugging.
Since then, my muggings have been far more successful.
I found my friend using a round-edged knife to cut his steak
it wasn't really sharp of him.
So my brother is grating cheese for a dip. He looks up and says,
"I'm the gratest."
Have you ever tried sticking a fork in a socket?
The results may shock you
Where do you bury dead cutlery?
In it's final resting plates.
I forgot my fork so tried to eat my lunch with just a spoon. It was pointless.
Why didn’t the cheese want to get sliced?
It had grater plans.
What's the best type of spoon?
I'll tell you ladle.
When whisking something, do it with caution.
It’s whisky business.
I heard this pun about a cheese grater the other day...
It was a grate joke.
The other day a man tried to mug me with a blunt knife...
It was pointless.
Cube cheese is good, and slices are fine...
But personally I think shredded is grater.
I was cutting cheese into very small pieces with a knife. The knife was great but a machine to help would’ve been grater.
I found a cutlery dispenser that doesn’t work properly
No forks were given.
I've decided to stop being a fork and become a spoon.
I just woke up one day and didn't see the point anymore.
One of my kitchen utensils seems to be playing classical music.
Think it’s the Chopin board.
I'm going around with a bent knife, so that when I'm short on time, I can cut corners.
How do you call clothings for spoons?
Silverwear
My eating utensils were forged from forged steel, so don't mess with me or I'll fork you up.
What do you call a collection of bones made out of kitchenware?
A skillet-ton.
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk.
My wife was scratching the glass jar with a metal spoon...
It was jarring!!!
My friend just got 3 kittens named Spoon, Fork, and Knife. When I asked why those names, they smiled and said, "Isn't it obvious?"
"They're catlery"
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