A tuning fork is, essentially, a pitch fork.
My friend has an excellent nose for wine...
It's shaped like a corkscrew!
What did the cutlery maker say when he lost some metal?
Silverware?!
Did you hear about the spoon? It caused quite a stir!
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk.
Why was the cheese happy in the kitchen?
He thought he was grater than everyone else.
I started carrying a knife after an attempted mugging.
Since then, my muggings have been far more successful.
I heard this pun about a cheese grater the other day...
It was a grate joke.
Why can't you use a wooden spoon in a Teflon pan?
Because its non stick.
A kitchen knife and fork had a race. Who won? Neither, it ended in a drawer.
What does a straw and a view have in common?
You can get a paper straw and you can also get pay per view.
Had to my dinner with just a knife and spoon last night...
It wasn't easy, but that's a fork-gone conclusion.
I really hate straws.
They suck.
My wife was scratching the glass jar with a metal spoon...
It was jarring!!!
How do Chinese people make cutlery?
They chopsticks.
When my doc said that my kitchenware diet was bad for my bowels, I crapped my pans.
When I was a student, I was worried that my housemates would be annoyed if I ran off with some of their kitchen utemsils. But that was a whisk I was willing to take.
Yesterday, I bought my wife a cheese grater to use on cheddar and parmesan, both of which I hate.
It was the grater of two evils.
Cube cheese is good, and slices are fine...
But personally I think shredded is grater.
My eating utensils were forged from forged steel, so don't mess with me or I'll fork you up.
Why were the utensils stuck together?
They were spooning.
So my brother is grating cheese for a dip. He looks up and says,
"I'm the gratest."
When you lick the icing off a spoon are you defrosting it?
I was cutting cheese into very small pieces with a knife. The knife was great but a machine to help would’ve been grater.
How do you make cheese even better?
You use a cheese grater of course!
I forgot my fork so tried to eat my lunch with just a spoon. It was pointless.
I was on the road yesterday with my metal detector looking for some cutlery....
I found plenty of spoons and knives but I didn't stop, until I hit a fork in the road.
I downloaded a colander app instead of a calendar and now my battery keeps draining.
Took my giant spoon to my cooking class last night. It caused quite a stir.
I used to work at a cutlery store, but I quit
No more Mr. Knife guy.
What's the best type of spoon?
I'll tell you ladle.
I almost got into a fight with a bendy straw.
When I put it in my drink, it tried to flex on me.
I’ve been experimenting with attaching various kitchen utensils to my power drill
I got mixed results.
If you try to stretch a fork to see if it breaks...
Are you testing its utensil strength?
How did the cutlery greet the steak?
Knife to meat you!
The other day a man tried to mug me with a blunt knife...
It was pointless.
My wife wants to start selling kitchenware online.
I just don't see it panning out.
Do you know why the boy didn't want to become a cheese slicer like his brother?
He wanted to become a grater man.
How do you call clothings for spoons?
Silverwear
Got a puncture in my tyre the other day. Think it was at the fork in the road.
My wife got a straw for her drink...
When she sat down, she took a sip, and frustratedly sighed "My straw has a hole in it!"
I replied "I should hope it has two!"
My friend showed me how he keeps his expensive butcher knife sharp.
I thought it was pretty cleaver.
I found my friend using a round-edged knife to cut his steak
it wasn't really sharp of him.
Why didn’t the cheese want to get sliced?
It had grater plans.
I went into the kitchen and found that someone replaced all the cutting utensils with spoons
That wasn't knife.
I've decided to stop being a fork and become a spoon.
I just woke up one day and didn't see the point anymore.
Why did the fork feel kinky near the spoon?
Because it was a tease spoon.
What do you call a bad cheese grater?
A cheese lesser.
When whisking something, do it with caution.
It’s whisky business.
why did the spoon show up dressed as a knife ?
Invitation said to look sharp.
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