I'm going around with a bent knife, so that when I'm short on time, I can cut corners.
What's the best type of spoon?
I'll tell you ladle.
I've decided to stop being a fork and become a spoon.
I just woke up one day and didn't see the point anymore.
Do you know why the boy didn't want to become a cheese slicer like his brother?
He wanted to become a grater man.
What do you call a collection of bones made out of kitchenware?
A skillet-ton.
I downloaded a colander app instead of a calendar and now my battery keeps draining.
I found my friend using a round-edged knife to cut his steak
it wasn't really sharp of him.
Someone stole my cutlery set, but we were unable to identify the thief
It was stainless steel.
If you try to stretch a fork to see if it breaks...
Are you testing its utensil strength?
I used to work at a cutlery store, but I quit
No more Mr. Knife guy.
Why does the superhero shred his cheese?
For the grater good.
My friend showed me how he keeps his expensive butcher knife sharp.
I thought it was pretty cleaver.
Why did the fork feel kinky near the spoon?
Because it was a tease spoon.
Yesterday, I bought my wife a cheese grater to use on cheddar and parmesan, both of which I hate.
It was the grater of two evils.
I came to a fork in the road.
I proceeded to pick it up.
I started carrying a knife after an attempted mugging.
Since then, my muggings have been far more successful.
Did you know cutlery scams require the most patience?
You've got to play the long prong.
Got a puncture in my tyre the other day. Think it was at the fork in the road.
I always remember to eat my soup with a spoon.
It’s un-fork-edible.
Why was the cheese happy in the kitchen?
He thought he was grater than everyone else.
How do you call a straw used for drinking orangeade?
Fantastick.
I got tired of fighting straw...
So I hit the hay.
My wife was scratching the glass jar with a metal spoon...
It was jarring!!!
A tuning fork is, essentially, a pitch fork.
Cube cheese is good, and slices are fine...
But personally I think shredded is grater.
Why can't we make jokes about the cutlery incident?
It's too spoon.
Have you ever tried sticking a fork in a socket?
The results may shock you
The other day a man tried to mug me with a blunt knife...
It was pointless.
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk.
Why were the utensils stuck together?
They were spooning.
What happened to the dull knife's application?
It was turned down, he just couldn't make the cut.
Which drawing utensil is the fastest?
The e-racer.
Why can't you use a wooden spoon in a Teflon pan?
Because its non stick.
I was cutting cheese into very small pieces with a knife. The knife was great but a machine to help would’ve been grater.
I was washing the dishes today and got so frustrated I screamed into a collander.
I think I strained my voice.
A piece of cheese sees his cheese friend looking a little disheveled. “Are you OK?” he asks.
“I’ve felt grater”, his friend coughed.
What did the cutlery maker say when he lost some metal?
Silverware?!
I went into the kitchen and found that someone replaced all the cutting utensils with spoons
That wasn't knife.
"This is the last straw!"
I shouted to my wife as I put it in my drink...
Asked my friend why a knife is his favourite utensil.
He said “a spoon and a fork just don’t cut it”.
What do Santa’s elves cook with in the kitchen?
A u-tinsel.
I heard this pun about a cheese grater the other day...
It was a grate joke.
So my brother is grating cheese for a dip. He looks up and says,
"I'm the gratest."
What does a straw and a view have in common?
You can get a paper straw and you can also get pay per view.
I ate a spoon of food color...
Now i'm dying inside.
One of my kitchen utensils seems to be playing classical music.
Think it’s the Chopin board.
When you lick the icing off a spoon are you defrosting it?
My friend has an excellent nose for wine...
It's shaped like a corkscrew!
How do you call clothings for spoons?
Silverwear
Had to my dinner with just a knife and spoon last night...
It wasn't easy, but that's a fork-gone conclusion.
Go to BabaMail
