Yesterday, I bought my wife a cheese grater to use on cheddar and parmesan, both of which I hate.
It was the grater of two evils.
When I was a student, I was worried that my housemates would be annoyed if I ran off with some of their kitchen utemsils. But that was a whisk I was willing to take.
I came to a fork in the road.
I proceeded to pick it up.
What do you call a collection of bones made out of kitchenware?
A skillet-ton.
The other day a man tried to mug me with a blunt knife...
It was pointless.
I went into the kitchen and found that someone replaced all the cutting utensils with spoons
That wasn't knife.
Why did the fork feel kinky near the spoon?
Because it was a tease spoon.
Someone took all my straw
What a Hay-nous act!
I found a cutlery dispenser that doesn’t work properly
No forks were given.
Asked my friend why a knife is his favourite utensil.
He said “a spoon and a fork just don’t cut it”.
What do you call a knife that cuts 4 loaves of Irish bread at once?
A four loaf cleaver!
Last night while cooking, my serving spoon's handle broke off. My husband walked in and said:
How very un-ladle-like!
A kitchen knife and fork had a race. Who won? Neither, it ended in a drawer.
My wife was scratching the glass jar with a metal spoon...
It was jarring!!!
Why didn’t the cheese want to get sliced?
It had grater plans.
I was cutting cheese into very small pieces with a knife. The knife was great but a machine to help would’ve been grater.
I ate a spoon of food color...
Now i'm dying inside.
How do you call a straw used for drinking orangeade?
Fantastick.
If you try to stretch a fork to see if it breaks...
Are you testing its utensil strength?
How do Chinese people make cutlery?
They chopsticks.
I've decided to stop being a fork and become a spoon.
I just woke up one day and didn't see the point anymore.
Had to my dinner with just a knife and spoon last night...
It wasn't easy, but that's a fork-gone conclusion.
When you lick the icing off a spoon are you defrosting it?
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk.
I got tired of fighting straw...
So I hit the hay.
My eating utensils were forged from forged steel, so don't mess with me or I'll fork you up.
I’ve been experimenting with attaching various kitchen utensils to my power drill
I got mixed results.
"This is the last straw!"
I shouted to my wife as I put it in my drink...
My wife wants to start selling kitchenware online.
I just don't see it panning out.
Which drawing utensil is the fastest?
The e-racer.
What's the best type of spoon?
I'll tell you ladle.
Did you hear about the journalist who became a sterling silver spoon salesman?
He finally found the scoop he was looking for.
My friend showed me how he keeps his expensive butcher knife sharp.
I thought it was pretty cleaver.
When whisking something, do it with caution.
It’s whisky business.
What does a straw and a view have in common?
You can get a paper straw and you can also get pay per view.
Why can't we make jokes about the cutlery incident?
It's too spoon.
How do you make cheese even better?
You use a cheese grater of course!
I used to work at a cutlery store, but I quit
No more Mr. Knife guy.
I watched an eclipse through my colander, now I’ve strained my eyes.
I heard this pun about a cheese grater the other day...
It was a grate joke.
When my doc said that my kitchenware diet was bad for my bowels, I crapped my pans.
Got a puncture in my tyre the other day. Think it was at the fork in the road.
My friend has an excellent nose for wine...
It's shaped like a corkscrew!
Did you hear about the spoon? It caused quite a stir!
Why were the utensils stuck together?
They were spooning.
I really hate straws.
They suck.
What do Santa’s elves cook with in the kitchen?
A u-tinsel.
What do you call a bad cheese grater?
A cheese lesser.
I started carrying a knife after an attempted mugging.
Since then, my muggings have been far more successful.
How do you call clothings for spoons?
Silverwear
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