A tuning fork is, essentially, a pitch fork.
What do you call a collection of bones made out of kitchenware?
A skillet-ton.
My wife wants to start selling kitchenware online.
I just don't see it panning out.
Who will lead the army of drawing utensils?
The ruler.
Why does the superhero shred his cheese?
For the grater good.
Did you hear about the spoon? It caused quite a stir!
I was on the road yesterday with my metal detector looking for some cutlery....
I found plenty of spoons and knives but I didn't stop, until I hit a fork in the road.
My wife was scratching the glass jar with a metal spoon...
It was jarring!!!
My friend has an excellent nose for wine...
It's shaped like a corkscrew!
How do you call a straw used for drinking orangeade?
Fantastick.
My friend just got 3 kittens named Spoon, Fork, and Knife. When I asked why those names, they smiled and said, "Isn't it obvious?"
"They're catlery"
Did you know cutlery scams require the most patience?
You've got to play the long prong.
One of my kitchen utensils seems to be playing classical music.
Think it’s the Chopin board.
I started carrying a knife after an attempted mugging.
Since then, my muggings have been far more successful.
I got tired of fighting straw...
So I hit the hay.
Where do you bury dead cutlery?
In it's final resting plates.
I found a cutlery dispenser that doesn’t work properly
No forks were given.
Asked my friend why a knife is his favourite utensil.
He said “a spoon and a fork just don’t cut it”.
Lost my bread knife the other day..
I'm absolutely gutted...we've been through thick and thin
I used to work at a cutlery store, but I quit
No more Mr. Knife guy.
My eating utensils were forged from forged steel, so don't mess with me or I'll fork you up.
Which drawing utensil is the fastest?
The e-racer.
If you try to stretch a fork to see if it breaks...
Are you testing its utensil strength?
What did the cutlery maker say when he lost some metal?
Silverware?!
I almost got into a fight with a bendy straw.
When I put it in my drink, it tried to flex on me.
I was washing the dishes today and got so frustrated I screamed into a collander.
I think I strained my voice.
I ate a spoon of food color...
Now i'm dying inside.
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk.
Why can't we make jokes about the cutlery incident?
It's too spoon.
I downloaded a colander app instead of a calendar and now my battery keeps draining.
Cube cheese is good, and slices are fine...
But personally I think shredded is grater.
I came to a fork in the road.
I proceeded to pick it up.
What does a straw and a view have in common?
You can get a paper straw and you can also get pay per view.
When I was a student, I was worried that my housemates would be annoyed if I ran off with some of their kitchen utemsils. But that was a whisk I was willing to take.
Did you hear about the journalist who became a sterling silver spoon salesman?
He finally found the scoop he was looking for.
What happened to the dull knife's application?
It was turned down, he just couldn't make the cut.
Have you ever tried sticking a fork in a socket?
The results may shock you
Yesterday, I bought my wife a cheese grater to use on cheddar and parmesan, both of which I hate.
It was the grater of two evils.
A piece of cheese sees his cheese friend looking a little disheveled. “Are you OK?” he asks.
“I’ve felt grater”, his friend coughed.
I was cutting cheese into very small pieces with a knife. The knife was great but a machine to help would’ve been grater.
When whisking something, do it with caution.
It’s whisky business.
why did the spoon show up dressed as a knife ?
Invitation said to look sharp.
I forgot my fork so tried to eat my lunch with just a spoon. It was pointless.
How did the cutlery greet the steak?
Knife to meat you!
How do you make cheese even better?
You use a cheese grater of course!
I've decided to stop being a fork and become a spoon.
I just woke up one day and didn't see the point anymore.
Someone stole my cutlery set, but we were unable to identify the thief
It was stainless steel.
What's the best type of spoon?
I'll tell you ladle.
Got a puncture in my tyre the other day. Think it was at the fork in the road.
When my doc said that my kitchenware diet was bad for my bowels, I crapped my pans.
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