I’ve loved my vacation in France, but it’s time to Hugo.
Other people had drugs in school, but I brought Greek cheeses.
That way I could have math and feta cheese.
Where to Bees go to party in Spain?
Ibiza.
I was at my hotel in Spain and wasn't feeling well.
Reception said they had a doctor on staff.
The doctor asked me lots of questions and I was then feeling much better.
I told reception I didn't expect a hotel would have a doctor on staff
They said it was a Spanish Inn Physician
My son asked me what Micheal Jackson was doing in Italy
I told him he was "sight-heeheeing."
If Russia attacked Turkey from behind do you think Greece would help?
How did citizens of Ancient Greece measure land for crops?
By Demeter.
My local Italian restaurant is moving to Italy
They are moving to greener pasta.
After hearing about my history major, my dad said, “You should go visit Italy in late August.Then you can witness The Fall of Rome."
Whilst holidaying in France I saw a group of mushrooms performing Queen covers.
I said 'You're brilliant, what's the band called?'
They replied 'We are the Champignons."
I’ll try to keep it brief, but I have so much to Marseilles about France.
What do they call the Hunger Games in France?
Battle Royale with Cheese.
My son asked today “ Dad, are people in Spain cannibals?”
I answered “Why would you think that?”
He said “Well, my teacher said they mostly live off of tourists there.”
I used to live in in Aragon, in Spain.
Then I left.
I'm Aragone.
I guess you can say my misunderstanding of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles
Elbow.
Are these pants too tight in the Balzac?
Why should you never eat the fish in France?
Because it's poisson.
Took a tour of Pisa, Italy...
Tour guide said “Hello, my name is Eileen.”
What’s the capital of France?
The F.
French, French Revolution
I always feel like a winner in France, which is great because I hate Toulouse.
What is the most popular flower in France?
Croissanthemums.
My 4-year-old son has been learning Spanish all year and he still can't say the word, please.
which I think is poor for four.
What’s Austrian and took over France?
Croissants.
There’s so much to do here so I’m never Bordeaux-ed.
Another cheese factory in France exploded...
I Camembert to hear this joke again!
French guy goes into a bar with a frog on his head
The bartender asks “where’d you get that?” And the frog says “in France. There’s loads of them.”
Can I go to France this year? Of Corsican!
If you don’t have a lot of figurines from Ancient Greek mythology, I can give you a mini tour.
What speech did Abraham Lincoln give when he went to Italy?
The Spaghetties-burg Address.
I can't stand Greek salads.
I like un-feta'd access to my greens.
If you want to vacation in Italy, don't be afraid to Rome around.
French fries aren’t cooked in France
They’re cooked in greece.
When in France, I have Nantes-thing to complain about.
What do you call a 1 cent coin in Italy?
A penne.
Why do they eat snail in France?
Because they don’t have fast food.
Which city in France is the nicest?
Nice.
Can a fencing champion born in France, but raised in the U.S. represent either country in the olympics?
Yes. Because they have duel citizenship.
Which ancient Greek Philosopher had a foot fetish?
Play-toe.
Or was it Sock-rates?
So there’s this Spanish magician. His main trick was performing a spectacular vanishing act. He said that he’d vanish on the count of three. “Uno” “Dos”
And then he vanished, without a tres.
Why can I not make jokes about the recent attacks in France?
Because jokes are all about execution.
German tourist visits France.
Guy at the Airport: "Nationality?"
German Dude: "German".
Airport Guy: "Occupation?"
German Dude: "Nein, nein, Only Vacation".
What are stepfathers called in France?
Faux pas.
Some people say Greece should stop using the euro as currency...
I think they're being over-drachmatic.
How come there are no automatic cars in Spain?
They’re all Manuel.
What did the father ant said to his son when they moved to France from America?
Son, we are now Europeants!
I tripped in France.
Eiffel over.
From up here, I Cannes see the whole French Riviera!
There's a new film out about two insects that meet in Italy.
It's Rome ants.
How does Mr. Bean introduce himself in Spain?
Soy Bean.
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